


Once I Lay My Hands On You

by ArabellaFaith



Category: Leverage
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Backstory, Communication, F/M, Getting Together, Internal Conflict, M/M, Multi, OT3, Plans For The Future, Post-Canon, Rough Sex, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-27
Updated: 2018-05-03
Packaged: 2019-04-28 18:27:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 52,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14455176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArabellaFaith/pseuds/ArabellaFaith
Summary: There's always been a little more to Eliot, Parker, and Hardison's relationship than business. Now that they're on their own, things are bound to change. As they grow closer than ever, Eliot's fears complicate matters - but Parker and Hardison wont let him push them away.A story about the OT3 getting together, learning how to be together, and looking towards the future.





	1. Chapter 1

They didn’t start to realize something was wrong until Eliot was there to save them from a group of bad guys when he was  _ supposed _ to be across town on a date - which Hardison had figured was the gentlemanly way of saying  _ having sex _ \- with the girl he’d met at the pub the night before.

 

After the last job had finished, they’d invited Eliot to stay over, hang out for a while, but he’d declined.  He’d been doing that more and more lately, which only prompted Hardison and Parker to invite him to stay more often.  But he’d bowed out, claiming he had plans, and they’d ordered pizza and put in a movie. Hardison churlishly picked a chick flick he was certain Eliot would have turned his nose up at, and Parker had just laughed.

 

They were only ten minutes into the movie - which Parker could already tell they weren’t going to bother finishing - when the pizza arrived.  Or, at least, what they  _ thought _ was the pizza.  Instead of being greeted at the door by a large half Hawaiian half pepperoni, Hardison found a gun wielded by a pissed off Sicilian and three guards.  

 

Hardison didn’t think he was a total slouch in self defense, and Parker had been getting lessons from Eliot for years now, but neither of them were bullet proof.  When the Sicilian's warning shot took out one of the personalized, very expensive, very high tech screens, Hardison thought maybe he could hate the guy enough to take the risk of getting shot just to deck the asshole.

 

The point had been moot though, since forty five seconds later, Eliot was there dispatching the gunmen and hired muscle with a ferocity that surprised even them.  By the time it was done Eliot had a nasty bruised cut on his temple from where one of them had tried to pistol whip him, but the four men were tied up in the alley for the cops to find and Hardison and Parker didn’t have a scratch on them.

 

Eliot was already heading toward the door as Hardison traced the men to the son of a mark they’d taken out the year before.

 

“Stop orderin’ take-out,” Eliot growled over his shoulder.  “Eat somethin’  _ healthy.” _

 

“My side has pineapple on it,” Parker offered.

 

“That does  _ not _ count, Parker.”

 

“He’s right,” Hardison agreed.  “Plus, it’s an abomination to pizza.”  Parker looked appalled at the accusation, and was about to launch into a debate they’d already had many times before, but Hardison stuck his head out the door.  “But hey, there’s half a  _ good _ pizza on its way if you wanna stick around, man,” he said to Eliot’s retreating form.

 

“I’ll pass.”

 

“Hey, didn’t you have a date tonight?” Parker asked, sticking her head out the door beside Hardison’s.  Eliot froze.

 

“Yeah, that’s right!  What were you doing here still? Shouldn’t you be across town with that blonde right about now?”

 

Eliot half turned back to them, ducking his head a little.  “I was - she had to-” He grimaced at his ineloquence. “We rescheduled.  I was just… working on the pub menu.”

 

“So you don’t have plans for the night anymore?” Parker asked pointedly.  Hardison grinned at her and offered his palm for a high five while Eliot huffed but came back to the apartment.

 

“Fine,” he snapped.  “But I ain’t eatin’ that crap.  I’ll make somethin’.”

 

“Pizza?” Hardison asked.

 

“With pineapple?” Parker added hopefully.

 

“Yeah, yeah, half Hawaiian half pepperoni, I know the drill.”  He grumbled the words, but there was a softness in his eyes that told the other two that he didn’t really mind at all.

  
  


It wasn’t until Parker had nodded off against his shoulder and Eliot snuck off to do…. whatever Eliot did when they weren’t all together, that Hardison realized Eliot’s story didn’t quite add up.

 

***

 

Parker latched onto Hardison’s suspicions about Eliot avoiding spending spare time with them like a dog with a bone.  The longer she thought about it, the more it bothered her.

 

After Nate and Sophie had ‘retired’ together - which Parker still laughed at, because no one really believed they’d given up the game completely - the three of them had become an even closer group than before.  The bond that the team had shifted from a multidimensional, complex web of varying connections to more of a single unit operating in easy harmony. They  _ worked, _ the three of them.  Cons were executed with increasing ease, Parker coming at each situation sideways so no one could predict her, Hardison mastering newer and better tech skills, and Eliot more protective of them than ever.

 

It only made sense to her that their closeness would bleed over into their ‘off’ time.  After all, she didn’t really consider that any of them were ever completely  _ off. _  They were who they were, whether they were on a job or not.  And she liked it that way. Liked that she had people she could count on, no matter what, and people that could count on her.  It had taken her a long time, and a lot of trust, to reach the point where she  _ wanted _ that dependability, and she wasn’t about to give it up.

 

So when Eliot started making up excuses to go off on his own, she set her mind to two tasks: getting him to stay, and figuring out  _ why _ he was leaving to begin with.

 

Hardison had studied her for a long time when she told him her intent, then smiled softly at her in that way that said he would follow her to the ends of the earth without question.

  
  


***

 

Eliot wasn’t stupid.  It was an easy mistake for marks to make, to assume that he was all muscle and no brain, but often it was the last mistake they made.  No, he hadn’t gotten to where he was by being dense, or unobservant.

 

Which was why he knew exactly what Parker was doing each time she hedged him in until he didn’t have any reasonable excuse to avoid them.  He  _ was _ smart, but that didn’t mean he could quite figure out how to get around Parker when she set her mind to something.  Not yet, anyhow.

 

It made his task of distancing himself infinitely more difficult. 

 

The hardest part was that deep down, he really didn’t want to distance himself at all.

 

Even thinking that made him angry at himself.  The things he wanted and the things that he needed were two very different things.  He  _ wanted _ to be with Parker and Hardison, but he  _ needed _ them to be safe and happy - and the two were mutually exclusive.

 

It was easier to keep them safe, to protect them, from the outside looking in.  When he could hover on the periphery of their lives, watching out for any danger while keeping the violence within him and the horrors of his past safely distanced.  It was a balancing act he’d spent years perfecting as part of the team, but since they’d gone down to just the three of them, it had become increasingly difficult.

 

The bond he shared with Parker and Hardison wasn’t anything like the ones he’d had with Nate and Sophie.  There had always been a small sort of distance there, a disconnect between them out of polite professionalism.  They didn’t try to parent him the way they often had with Parker and Hardison, knowing he hadn’t needed it and wouldn’t have welcomed it.  They had nurtured Parker and Hardison, fostered them into the less foolhardy, more reasonable people that they’d become. Eliot hadn’t needed that.  All he’d needed… was family.

 

Eliot never knew if Nate had seen the instability within him, the need for an anchor, from the beginning, or if he just happened to have met that need for him along the way.  Eliot didn’t really give a damn which it was. All he knew was that before that first job, he’d been adrift. He had turned away from the dark life he’d lived for so long, but he hadn’t left the violence behind and he had been dangerously self destructive without a cause.  Then Nate had come along and given him one.

 

The strange thing was that the white knight/black king gambit, the entire Leverage purpose, wasn’t Eliot’s cause.  The  _ team _ was.  He cared about the jobs - some more than others - but they never would have been enough to ground him, to single down his focus until he could ignore the horrors behind him and move forward.

 

It was each of  _ them _ that held him.  It was pulling the cocky but naive hacker out of trouble, it was putting himself between the grifter and danger when a job went sideways.  It was calling out the mastermind when things went too far, and being there to catch the reckless thief - oftentimes literally.

 

He dedicated himself, not to an ideal, but to those people.  And protecting them had meant being the absolute best at what he did, not just to keep them safe in any single moment, but also keeping himself around the do it again in the future.  They needed him, and he needed to be needed.

 

All of that had been fine for years.  It had worked. It had allowed him to be part of a team, part of a family, to have somewhere to belong, while staying enough out of their lives.  They’d been two couples and him, which had let him fade into the background at the end of a con, bow out unnoticed when they went off together. He could be the guard dog standing watch while they enjoyed their relationships.

 

But then Nate and Sophie had gone, and Eliot found himself drawn into the fabric of Hardison and Parker’s personal lives, becoming part of their dynamic as a couple.  It was easy to stick around after a job, to grumble through some geeky show with Hardison, to have competitions with Parker to see who could tie a prusik knot faster, have a few drinks and let himself enjoy laughter and casually intimate embraces.

 

And then one night Parker had sat beside Eliot on the couch while they watched a movie, and so Hardison had plopped down on her other side, and they’d both fallen asleep and ended up curled against him.  Eliot had rested his arm along the back of the couch an hour before to keep Parker from pinning it uncomfortably against his side, and somehow it had drifted down until it rested around Parker and Hardison both.

 

Eliot thought, this could be the rest of his life and he would die a happy man.  This was all he needed, all he  _ wanted, _ and loving these two could keep the darkness away for the rest of his life.

 

He’d almost slipped into a doze himself - a rare enough occurance on its own - before he realized what he’d just thought.

 

Love?

 

He told himself as he carefully slipped off the couch, propping a pillow beneath Parker, that it was familial love.  There wasn’t anything wrong with that. He’d known for a long time now that these people were his family. He’d been happy to accept that, eager even.  Maybe he didn’t think of them as his kids, and he didn’t think of them as siblings, but it could still be platonic love. It wasn’t like he’d been lusting after Hardison’s geeky ass for years, or having wet dreams about Parker’s - admittedly  _ perfect _ \- body.

 

Really, what he loved about them was who they were.  Their talents and flaws, their infuriating quirks, their hearts.  And a big part of that had become who they were  _ together. _  Their ability to love each other, scars and all.  The easy way they gave each other affection. The vulnerability in them as they opened themselves up.  Eliot had watched them begin that dance, and he’d fallen in love with the couple they’d become.

 

Shit.

 

The moment that realization had gone through him, Eliot knew it was time to step back.  It wouldn’t have been okay, but he could have forgiven himself for falling for  _ one _ of them.  He could have understood it.  But loving them both, loving them  _ as _ a couple, was six kinds of fucked up.  It was a brutal reminder that Eliot Spencer was not the kind of man that got a happily ever after.  He didn’t do relationships because they weren’t safe, not for him or anyone foolish enough to be with him.  People with pasts like his didn’t live long enough to grow old with loved ones.

 

The fact that he’d let it go so far told him that he was slipping.  He had let himself get too close, and that was going to lead to a mistake he couldn’t afford to make.  He couldn’t risk falling asleep in the same place as them and attacking one of them in the midst of a nightmare.  He couldn’t risk letting something from his past slip out in conversation that could be dangerous to them if they looked into it.  He couldn’t risk letting them realize just how much he’d come to care for them and having to see the sincere sadness and pity that would be on their faces at the fact that he could never have what he so desperately wanted.

 

Not that he really even knew what the hell that was.  His mind hadn’t managed to see beyond his heart’s desire to simply  _ be _ with them, always.

 

So he left the apartment, double checked that all the security was properly in place, and went back home.  He destroyed his punching bag, worked in his garden, went through his training field twice,  _ blindfolded, _ and then let himself meditate.

 

He forced his body into relaxation, his mind to clear of all the doubt and fear.  He picked up each piece of information that he could be certain of, and assessed them calmly.

 

What he felt for Parker and Hardison was stronger and deeper than he’d ever realized.  Now that he knew, he could deal with that. As long as he was aware of it, and knew which pitfalls to watch out for, he could avoid them.

 

Knowing that he wanted them in more of a romantic sense than a familial one was going to open him up to a myriad of confusing sexual impulses, and he was going to have to subjugate every single one.  They certainly didn’t feel that way about him, and no way in hell was he going to put that on them.

 

The closeness that he had with them already was going to make him more vulnerable to sharing personal information, which could be dangerous to them.  They already knew enough about his past to understand who and what he was, but anything beyond that was only a burden. They were problem solvers, and he couldn’t have them trying to ‘fix’ things that were broken inside of him. 

 

From then on, he was going to have to walk a tightrope with physical contact.  If he ceased all the casual touches they shared entirely, it would be glaringly obvious.  But it was also going to become increasingly difficult to hide what was going to grow into intense attraction.  Eliot had a long history with sex, and he knew the way he worked. He could take a hundred models to bed and show them a hell of a time, but he could be with the homeliest person on the planet and if he cared about them, then it would be more meaningful, more incredible, than all those models combined.  The fact that both Parker and Hardison were attractive already was just fuel on the fire.

 

He was going to have to man up and deal with this, quietly and carefully, because he knew without a doubt that he was going to spend the rest of his life with them.  He hadn’t promised as much to Sophie lightly. Wherever they went, he would follow. Whatever they got into, he would stand by them and protect them. One day, he was going to die for them, and there wasn’t anything he’d rather die for.

 

Through all these thoughts, one undercurrent remained sharp and brittle.  He could hate himself for letting it get this far. He could let shame twist him until it overwhelmed him.  He could despise that he’d taken something innocent and turned it into a fault he would have to protect them from.  But he could not let any of those feelings consume him. He couldn’t grow reckless the way he’d been before he met them, when the self-hatred had made each fight a decision - to win or to let himself be taken out.  He did not have the luxury of getting himself killed because of this. No matter how he felt about himself, he needed to be there for them. That meant keeping himself alive, standing between them and harm for as long as he could.

 

His heart resolved and his thoughts carefully in order, Eliot opened his eyes and started a new part of his life.  One in which he backed out of Parker and Hardison’s lives enough to keep them all safe.

 

It was a path that would have been much easier to walk if they hadn’t realized he was trying to get some distance and began to pull him even closer.

 

***

 

Hardison wasn’t always the smartest man in the room for nothing.  He realized where the three of them were headed before the others, and that was probably a good thing, because he needed the time to sort his thoughts out.  Parker, he knew with both terror and anticipation, was going to just dive in head first and not even question it. She saw things as black and white, a straight line from point a to point b.  The irony of that fact was that the  _ simplicity _ of her thoughts was what made their cons so unpredictable.

 

But this wasn’t a con.  This was their lives. And this wasn’t something Hardison could just go along with blindly.  This  _ couldn’t _ go wrong, and since he knew he was likely going to have the most superficial hold ups - Eliot would have the real ones, but those were a problem for the future - he was glad that he had time to think it all through.

 

The first thing that he gave long consideration to was jealousy.  He didn’t consider himself a particularly jealous person, but he was still a red blooded man in love with a gorgeous girl, and there had been plenty of times that marks had turned lustful glances her way which had left him gritting his teeth and eager to get his hands on her somewhere private.

 

The strange thing was, Hardison had never felt any jealousy of Eliot.  He should have, maybe. Not that Eliot had ever overstepped any bounds.  Hell, the only times he’d ever looked at Parker with carnal appreciation were the times  _ Hardison _ had told him to.  But still, there would be a lot to be jealous of, if he had ever felt that way.  Eliot and Parker were close in a way that Hardison could never understand. They were survivors, they’d been through things he could only shudder at.  Not to mention that they spent plenty of time together even without Hardison there - or  _ had, _ before Eliot had gone privately AWOL.  Eliot had taught Parker self defense, which had involved a fair amount of physical contact.  Parker had showed Eliot all her rigging, which was not only hands on, but also extremely personal to her.

 

Plus, Eliot was, well…  _ Eliot. _  He charmed women  _ and _ men effortlessly.  He was incredibly strong, fiercely loyal, and protective to a fault.  Add in the fact that he was handsome enough to make even a straight man look twice, and there was plenty that Hardison  _ should _ have been jealous of.

 

So why didn’t he?

 

He could claim that the trust he had in both Parker and Eliot was why he didn’t mind the time they spent together, but that didn’t really explain why his heart always beat a little faster watching them spar.  He could even say that the reason he wasn’t jealous of Eliot in general was that they were like brothers. But he was pretty sure that a guy would be uncomfortable thinking about his girlfriend kissing  _ any _ other guy, even his brother.  Especially his brother.

 

Hardison closed his eyes and let himself see it.  His girlfriend and his best friend. Standing closer than was socially acceptable.  Hardison watching. Eliot sliding his hand into Parker’s hair, his grip firm, because that’s just who Eliot was, but so incredibly gentle too, because he would  _ never _ do anything to cause Parker any harm.  Eliot would pause, glancing over to Hardison, uncertainty and heat warring in his eyes, and it would be Parker who closed the distance between their lips, kissing Eliot in that wild, greedy way of hers.

 

Hardison was supposed to be upset by this point in the scene, right?  Instead he felt breathless, and almost overwhelmed with affection as he watched two people he cared about so deeply share intimacy.  Eliot wasn’t another man, intruding on what Hardison and Parker had built. It was like he was an extension of them, part of them already.

 

The Parker in his mind grinned wickedly and then pulled him over, urging the two men together, and Hardison shook his head to clear away the scene.

 

_ That _ brought him to the second thing that should have been a glaring problem with all this.  Hardison was enlightened enough not to put much stock in labels, but he considered himself ninety nine percent straight.  Sure, he’d read his share of slash fanfiction, and yeah, he’d thought Han, Luke, and Leia were going to be his OT3 before finding out that two of them were siblings, but none of that was real world stuff.  With the exception of a single kiss during a game of truth or dare in middle school, and some private explorations of his prostate - for which he blamed the fanfiction - Hardison had never done anything  _ gay _ in his life.

 

A cowardly part of him wanted to just assume that if this three way thing came to pass, there could be a chick buffer between the men the entire time, but that wasn’t the way this would work.  Not just because things couldn’t be even if they went only one way, but also because it was a big fat lie to claim that he wouldn’t  _ want _ any contact between them.  He wasn’t talking about jumping right into NC-17 slash stuff, but he’d felt Eliot’s hands on him before, and it had never been unpleasant.

 

He couldn’t be totally certain, but he didn’t think that Eliot would shy away from him in that situation, either.  Parker had been the first one to start to piece things together, but Hardison had spent a lot of time watching Eliot since then, and he’d seen enough to make his assumptions.  The way Eliot looked at them, especially when he thought they couldn’t see him, was not different from one to the other. He did not watch Parker with more heat than he did Hardison.  What was perhaps more telling, was the expression Hardison had come to think of as his ‘ _ I would kill for you’ _ face.

 

Eliot would have died for any member of the Leverage team.  There had been many times over the years that he’d come close.  But Eliot had a past with killing, and it wasn’t something he took lightly.  Of the two options, Hardison was fairly sure that to Eliot, dying for someone would be far easier.  With the two of them, though… Eliot had offered to kill for them both on separate occasions. People that threatened Parker and Hardison specifically suffered a brand of his wrath that was truly chilling.

 

Eliot had those feelings for  _ both _ of them.  Hardison had no idea how that would translate into a physical relationship, but he knew there wouldn’t be anything separate about them unless Hardison asked for it specifically.  He wondered if Eliot had been with men before but simply preferred women, or if Hardison was the only man that had ever interested him, and only then because of how he felt about him.

 

That line of thinking could spout a massive number of sexual scenarios, and Hardison shook it away.  This wasn’t about sex. Knowing that if it  _ did _ lead to sex, he would be okay with that was enough for now.  And yeah, if the scenes he was working very hard  _ not _ to imagine were any indication, he would definitely be okay with it.

 

So there it was.  He wouldn’t be jealous of Eliot and Parker together, and he was down with the idea of them all having sex.  He was fairly certain that those were the pieces Parker had by now put together, and she didn’t think anything else needed thought about.  But she was still new to this whole ‘human relationships’ thing, and Hardison knew that willingness and attraction weren’t enough for a solid relationship.  And that was the issue, really. It wasn’t just sex they were talking about.

 

Those looks Eliot gave them, between the scowls and grimaces and the intense  _ I would kill for you _ stare… the looks he gave them when a job was done and there was time for laughter and affection… then his eyes would soften, and he would look at them as if they were his whole world.

 

In so many ways, they were.

 

If they’d come into this the other direction, if it had started as a meaningless threesome, it wouldn’t have meant so much.  Because now, that wouldn’t be enough. It would be fair to any of them to try and make it something less than what it was. Eliot was already devoted to them - maybe even more than they were to each other.  Whatever happened, this was forever in his mind.

 

That ought to have been a terrifying prospect, but somehow in a way, it simplified everything.  They were  _ them, _ and this was going to work, and it was going to last.  It had already started, maybe back when they’d stopped the spanish flu, maybe when Parker had done that job on her own, hell, maybe back that first day, when Eliot had saved Hardison’s life despite not even really liking him yet.  But they’d been on this course for longer now than he could remember, and taking it further wouldn’t really change anything.

 

It would solidify what they felt into something tangible, but Hardison knew that it was just an inevitable conclusion at this point.  They would get there, and it would be  _ good. _

 

Admittedly, it had taken Hardison a while to wrap his head around all those ideas, but once he did, he turned his focus to Eliot himself.  Hardison didn’t think his concerns had been unreasonable, but once he’d gotten past them, they seemed almost petty compared to the fears Eliot would have.

 

As much as he wanted to take on a forward approach and just  _ talk _ to Eliot about it all, he knew better than to make it seem like a confrontation.  Instead, he sat down with Parker, and they came up with a plan.

 

***

 

In the years since Nate Ford had first called Parker about a job, she had come a long way to understanding more about herself and the people around her.  Even still, there were some things that hadn’t changed at all. Hardison and Nate both claimed that the way she thought, the way she approached problems, was what made her so good at being the mastermind for the new Leverage team.  Often times, it all seemed so simple to her. She had learned more about the complex motivations of others, the intricate planning their marks did in their schemes, but she found most of it laughable.

 

Personal matters were both easier and harder to get a grip on.  In other people’s relationships, it seemed ridiculous how they snuck around and lied, how they acted one way and spoke another, how they claimed to care for each other and rarely really did.  In her  _ own _ relationship, things had gotten a lot simpler.  Once she had accepted that she could care for people and not have it be a weakness, that she could trust others to be there for her, all she’d needed to do was express herself honestly and things had worked out.  Hardison seemed to appreciate her blatant honesty. Maybe he was confused at times trying to follow her thought process, but he appreciated her just the way she was.

 

She’d been confused by her attraction to Hardison in the beginning because she’d never associated attraction and affection together.  Once she did, once she got past her reservations, they just… clicked.

 

With Eliot, Parker had recognized both attraction and affection, but he had always abstained from romantic relationships and hadn’t shown any particular interest in either Parker  _ or _ Hardison.  For a long time after she and Hardison had gotten together, she had basically stopped looking for any signs that he might be.

 

She’d gotten complacent, taken things for granted.  And that had been a cruel thing to do, for all their sakes, but for Eliot most of all.

  
  


It hadn’t been until he’d started pulling away from him that she looked, really  _ looked _ at what their relationship had become.  When she did, she couldn’t understand why he would pull away.  They were… something. She wasn’t sure quite what, but it was definitely something, and it was important.  To her, the way forward seemed simple. They loved each other. They were a team. There was plenty of attraction there, though no one seemed inclined to act on it.  So they should be getting  _ closer, _ not further apart.

 

So where were things going wrong?

 

That was the point at which Hardison could provide explanation, though it made little sense to her.  He suggested that Eliot was probably not comfortable getting involved with them since they were already together, that he would feel like he was intruding.  But how could that be true? Both Parker and Hardison cared for Eliot, and they had already discussed the fact that there was no jealousy involved. They knew that Eliot cared for both of them as well, so why not simply act on it?  Hardison’s response to that was,  _ he just won’t, _ which didn’t seem like a good answer at all.

 

As ridiculous as it was, that was an issue that Parker thought they could work on.  They might be able to ease him into the idea of being with them, and that they were happy to have it happen.  It might take some time, but they could get him there.

 

The other thing that Hardison seemed convinced would be a problem was Eliot’s resistance to relationships.  When Parker pointed out that he certainly had no trouble picking up women, Hardison clarified  _ long-term _ relationships, and there, Parker was stumped.  The thing was, Eliot already  _ was _ in a long-term relationship with them.    He was theirs and they were his and that was that.

 

Hardison said that being partners and family didn’t include sexual exclusivity, which was something most men with commitment issues chafed at, but Parker dismissed that out of hand.

 

“When was the last time he went home with someone?” she asked.

 

Hardison had given her an  _ are you kidding me _ look and listed off the last three women he’d seen Eliot get numbers from at the pub.

 

“But have you seen him actually  _ go _ with any of them?”

 

And Hardison had admitted that no, he hadn’t actually seen Eliot leave with anyone in a long while.  Sometimes he said he was going on dates, but if the ‘date’ he’d been on when the Sicilians had come was any indication, the only romancing he’d been doing was to the tomatoes as he made them into sauce.

 

He still hadn’t been willing to say that Eliot was waiting for them in celibacy, but he could admit that Eliot wasn’t getting around the way he used to.  He’d tried to point out that even if he  _ was, _ that didn’t mean he wouldn’t want to see other people later on, but Parker had laughed again.

 

“What would he need anyone else for after he has us?”

 

“You know… variety.”  Hardison shrugged. He’d been happy to settle down and commit himself to one woman, so he was really only guessing.

 

“But there are  _ two _ of us.  And we literally could not be more different.  He’ll have plenty of variety!”

 

“Yeah, but he might not-  I mean, we don’t really know what he likes-”

 

“Is this the gay thing again?” Parker asked suspiciously.

 

“Don’t say it like that, baby.  I’m just sayin’, he’s got a long history with women.  A  _ long _ history.  And nowhere in there does it indicate the man likes other men.  Love is one thing. Wanting to get down is another.”

 

At that, Parker just rolled her eyes.  She’d seen more of the way Eliot watched Hardison than Hardison had.  She was fairly certain that it wouldn’t be a problem. No, she couldn’t guarantee that Eliot would be happy to settle into monogamy - or polyamoury, as it was - but if he ever got restless they would find a way to fix it.  She was very good at disguises, after all, and not even remotely opposed to role playing. They would just have to be honest with each other about their needs and trust each other to stay faithful.

 

So it seemed to her that with the issues Hardison brought up, solutions could be found.  They had a plan, and they were both eager to put it in place. But somewhere in the back of her mind, Parker couldn’t help but think there was something more holding Eliot back.  Something bigger than decorum or commitment issues. She’d seen the darkness in him, seen just a glimpse of the way he truly felt about himself, and she worried that there was a deeper problem waiting to be revealed.

 

***

 

It was ironic, but really shouldn’t have surprised him, that trying to get his distance from Parker and Hardison had brought the three of them even closer.  After the mess with the Sicilians, it was like Parker latched onto Eliot and wouldn’t let go. If Eliot thought that Hardison would get her to ease off, he was proven wrong.  Hardison would just shrug at her antics and smile, saying he should,  _ “give the lady what she wants.” _

 

Normally, that wasn’t a problem.  Eliot would give Parker the world if she asked.  But what she seemed to want was an inappropriate level of intimacy that he’d been expressly trying to avoid.  She jumped on his back for rides whenever possible, wrapping her long legs around his waist and pressing her hands just over his heart.  Her breath would ghost over his ear, which really,  _ really _ did not help him in his quest to avoid sexual fantasies about his partners.

 

She was relentless in hedging him into spending time with him.  What was worse, she wasn’t actually  _ forcing _ him to, but rather backing him into corners until he admitted that he  _ actually wanted _ to hang out with them.  The Russian mob was easier to evade than Parker on a crusade.

 

Then, when they spent down time together, Parker had no problem acting just this side of decent.  She’d never had any modesty, but in the apartment, it dwindled down to less than nothing. One time she’d asked him to help her fix a bit of metal on her rigging and he’d walked into find her  _ naked, _ holding the nylon harness.  When he’d immediately tried to leave, she’d tugged him closer instead, saying that since the harness was one that went on under her clothes, there hadn’t been any reason for her to dress first.

 

Eliot had walked out of the room ten minutes later with burning ears and the handle of his pocket knife digging into his thigh very hard to keep himself from getting an erection.

  
  


Hardison’s concept of personal space seemed to have taken as much of a dive as Parker’s, and that threw Eliot for a bit of a loop as well.  They’d been tactile before, but this was more than that. Hardison made a point of squeezing Eliot’s shoulder when he thanked him for cooking, or putting a hand on his back as he pointed something out to him, or letting their knees brush too many times to be accidental while they all watched a movie. (Eliot had tried sitting in the chair instead of on the couch, thinking that would solve the problem, but that only made things  _ worse. _  Parker invited herself into his lap whenever he sat in a chair on his own, claiming that it was the comfiest seat.  Eliot was  _ not _ willing to sit through two hours of Parker’s ass against his crotch, so he resigned himself to the couch.)

 

Eliot’s confusion about their intentions lasted until the day they took him on what was undoubtedly a  _ date. _  They’d all gotten dressed up, gone to a restaurant with flowers and a candle on the table, then split a dessert between the three of them.  Parker did sinful things with the whipped cream and her spoon, then apparently found a speck of something on Eliot’s cheek, because she leaned in to remove it with  _ her tongue. _  Eliot could only sit frozen in shock, then finally find the wherewithal to shoot Hardison a  _ do something! _ look.  

 

Hardison’s response was, “you missed a spot, momma.”

 

“Damnit, Hardison!”

  
  


So, it was a date.  A couple, a  _ happy _ couple, took him on a date.  With each other. And if Parker’s little stunt with dessert was any indication, they weren’t just doing this as a joke or some misguided attempt to hang out.  They had real intent.

 

The fact that this was everything Eliot had wanted for a long time now in no way lessened his frustration.

 

It was like they were offering him all his wildest dreams, but taking them would cost him his soul.  No, the reality of the situation wasn’t as dramatic as all that, but if going along with this somehow cost him Hardison and Parker… well then it might just be worse.  He wouldn’t,  _ couldn’t _ take that chance.

 

When they invited him up to the apartment after dinner, Eliot declined.  He ignored the look of hurt on Parker’s face at his abruptness, and the thwarted expectation in Hardison’s eyes.  They didn’t know what they were asking for. Or worse, maybe they did, and he was just misreading the situation. But if they were only trying to get him into bed, he could have told them that wine and flowers wasn’t exactly the way to go about it.

 

Neither option was a good one. It was better ignored completely, just like every compulsion he’d felt lately to hold them tightly and never let go.

 

He went home on his own, wishing more than anything he could be back with them but knowing it was for the best that he didn’t.  Once he reset the alarm inside his house, he walked through it with only the twilight to see by, wondering just what the hell he’d been thinking when he’d built the place.  Obviously, he’d been thinking of Parker and Hardison, but that was the problem. Why had he built a house designed for them, and then made it his own home?

 

All of the rooms were empty except the kitchen and one small bedroom.  He was meticulous in keeping the garden out back, and his training field was well used, but otherwise the entire property was basically vacant.  He thought, not for the first time, that he ought to just move out and give the place to Parker and Hardison. They could make it into a real home.  No, he knew they had no intention to go straight and retire to a quiet life on the outskirts of town, but they could be happy here, even while working jobs.  They could fill it with the things it was made for - Parker could hang her practice rigs from the vaulted ceiling beams, Hardison could hook up every computer and game console known to man to the industrial generator, they could even get some use out of the enormous bed in the master bedroom that Eliot hadn’t stepped foot in once it had been set up.

 

He rolled his shoulders, muscles tense and exhaustion weighing on him.  He hadn’t slept at all through their last job, choosing instead to stand watch while the others rested, and while the amount of sleep he needed was exceptionally minimal, he was feeling the lack.  He wanted another shower, a cold one this time, not like the hot one he’d taken before the  _ date. _  One that would force his body to forget how good Parker had looked in her dress or the way Hardison had hugged him a beat longer than was socially acceptable when he’d said goodnight.

 

His shirt was off and he was undoing the fly of his trousers when his skin prickled.  He wasn’t alone. Senses on high alert, he turned away from the bathroom and padded towards the kitchen instead, making the change in direction seem as natural as he could.  He was debating on which knife to pick up when he caught the faintest whiff of orange blossom. He stopped, both relief and anger flashing through him.

 

“What the  _ hell _ are you doin’ here, Parker?”

 

She dropped down from one of the ceiling beams that he was no longer thinking charitable thoughts of and pouted.  “How do you  _ always _ know?”  She crossed her arms sullenly.  

 

“That’s my job,” Eliot growled.  He wasn’t about to tell her that he could pick out the smell of her shampoo from a mile away.  Hell, she probably didn’t even know that Eliot had  _ made _ the stuff himself for Hardison to give to her as a gift.  “What have I said about sneakin’ up on me?”

 

“Not to do it?”

 

“And do you happen to recall  _ why _ I said not to?”

 

Parker pretended to think back.  Or hell, maybe she really had forgotten and was actually trying to recall it.  “Be-cause you’ve maimed people for sneaking up on you before?”

 

“Exactly.  And yet, here you are.  How’d you even get past the security system, anyway?”

 

“Oh please.  You might have the best system, but I  _ am _ dating the creator.  I know its tricks.”

 

“That’s- that don’t make it okay to break in, Parker.”  He ran his hand through his hair in frustration, realizing that he was very shirtless, and she was suddenly standing very close.

 

“I wanted to talk to you.”

 

“And your techie boyfriend couldn’t help you figure out how to dial a phone?”

 

“I did try calling,” she defended.  Eliot pulled his phone out and saw that she was actually telling the truth.  He had three missed calls from her. “But I wanted to talk in person anyways.”

 

Eliot sighed.  “Can this wait till tomorrow?  I’m tired and you’ve got someone waitin’ for you at home.”

 

“Then come back with me,” Parker countered.  “Then we can talk more in the morning.”

 

“I’m already here.  This is where I live, in case you forgot as you were breakin’ into the place.  Just go home and call me tomorrow.”

 

“I  _ want _ you to come back with me, Eliot.  Or I can call Hardison and have him meet us here, if you’d rather.  He wanted to come along anyways, but I thought this would be easier for you if it was just me.”

 

“ _ What _ would be easier?”

 

“Telling you to stop brushing us off.  Or, if you really don’t want this, then tell me why and we’ll back off.”

 

“What?”

 

“You know what we’ve been trying to do, Eliot.  I know you do. You wouldn’t be fighting so hard against it if you didn’t.”

 

“You don’t know what you’re askin’ for,” Eliot snarled.  He went to storm past her, but Parker caught his arm.

 

“Yes, we  _ do. _  We aren’t being rash, and we aren’t going into this blind.  We know what we want and we’re pretty sure we know what you want, so I’m asking you, please, to just  _ talk _ to me about it!”

 

“What’s there to say?”  He jerked his arm out of her grasp, the anger in his voice fading slowly to frustration and then defeat.  “You want either one of two things from me. The first one I ain’t strong enough to give. And the second… the second’s too dangerous for all of us.  I won’t do that to you.”

 

Parker blinked at him for a moment, trying to understand him.  Then her face fell, and she couldn’t stop herself from stepping even closer to him.  “Do you think we just want sex from you?” The words hurt to say, it hurt to voice that he might think they only wanted to use him.  “Have we - have we made you feel like we see you as… just a  _ body?” _  The pain of that hit deep, because she could see why he might think that.  He had to know that they cared for him, yes, but how many times had they taken him for granted?  How many times had he used himself as a human shield for them, cooked for them and took care of them, let them lean on him, both literally and figuratively, without asking any thanks?  They all had their jobs on the team, but Eliot  _ always _ went above and beyond.  And she couldn’t remember the last time they’d shown him enough gratitude for that.  

 

“I-”

 

_ “Eliot-” _

 

“Don’t,” Eliot insisted, lifting his hand to smooth out the furrow between her brows.  “Don’t look at me like that. I thought… it was a possibility, yeah. That what you wanted was just somethin’ physical.  And I can’t,  _ can’t _ do that.  You understand, don’t you darlin’?”

 

Parker nodded, putting her hand over his where it had drifted down to cup her jaw.  “Of course I do. We wouldn’t ask that of you. Not when we know how you-” She stopped, biting her lip.  Eliot laughed a little, soft and heartbreaking.

 

“I guess I wasn’t as good at hidin’ it as I wanted to be, huh?”

 

“We don’t want you to hide it, Eliot.  We’ve been trying to show you-” she drew his hand down, until it was pressed over her heart.  “That we feel that way too. Don’t you see?”

 

Eliot drew in an unsteady breath, feeling some part of him that he’d thought was gone forever come alive.  He allowed himself this one single moment to let relief and love and happiness bubble inside of him, let himself be warmed by the knowledge that they  _ wanted _ him.  All of him.  He dropped his forehead down to press against Parker’s.

 

At first, she thought he was going to kiss her, really kiss her, but then he shifted back up and his lips landed chastely against her forehead.  He pulled her closer until the last scant distance between them vanished and he was holding her tightly.

 

“Thank you,” he whispered.  It was all she could do to wrap her arms around him and nod mutely.  This was it. This was what he’d needed. Now, they could-

 

He set her back a little, the tenderness that had been in his eyes replaced with resolve.  “I still can’t do it, Parker.”

 

“What?”  She shook her head, not understanding.  “Why?”

 

“It wouldn’t be right, for a barrel of reasons-”

 

“Is it because we’re already a couple?  Because we don’t care about that! We both want this.  We could-”

 

“That ain’t it.  It’s- it’s part of it, but that’s not the bigger issue.  I don’t do relationships, Parker. I  _ can’t.” _

 

“But we have variety and roleplaying and you  _ love us.” _

 

Three quarters of that didn’t make a damn lick of sense to Eliot, but he focused on the bit that did.  “Yeah, yeah I do. And that’s  _ why. _  I’m not willing to put either of you at risk like that.”

 

“Risk from what?  If anyone’s after you, we can-”

 

“From  _ me!” _  He said it loud enough that Parker jumped, and Eliot carefully set her away from him.  This was exactly why.  _ “I’m _ not safe, Parker.  You have no idea how much I hold back every day, the kind of hostility I live with.  The danger I am. I won’t put that on anyone, least of all the people I care about.”

 

“You’re not a danger to us,” Parker protested.

 

“Yes, I am.  I put my past behind me - you all helped me do that - but you never really stop being what I became.  It lives in you, for the rest of your life.”

 

“You’d never hurt us!”

 

“You can’t know that!” he exploded.  “What happens when I fall asleep and one of you moves the wrong way and I’ve cut your throat before I realize that I’m in bed and not in a prison cell in Bosnia?  What happens when we fuck and I lose control, for just  _ one single moment, _ and break somethin’ in you?  What happens when somethin’ from my past does come back, and you hear somethin’ you can’t bear or get hurt by someone after me?  It’s my job to  _ protect  _ you both, even from myself.  I can’t let you get hurt. I can’t do that to you, and god help me, Parker, don’t ask me to do it to  _ me _ .  Do you think I could bear to see the look in your eyes when it was done?” 

 

His face was lined with such anguish that Parker felt his pain viscerally.  This was more than she’d ever considered. She knew the self-loathing he lived with, she knew he worried about them in so many ways, but she’d never thought that he would see  _ himself _ as such a danger to them.  How could he think that they didn’t trust him, wholeheartedly?  Or maybe that was the problem - he knew that they did, and he was terrified of proving them wrong.

 

She took a step closer to him, wanting to hold him, to kiss away his pain, to  _ fix _ this, but he held up a hand to ward her off.

 

“Don’t,” he begged raggedly.  “I can’t. Please.”

 

His plea drew her up short.  She’d never heard him like this, brought so low.  But she couldn’t leave it like this. “Look at me,” she asked.  He hesitated, then raised his head. “You would  _ never _ harm us, Eliot.  We all live dangerous lives, we accept that about each other.  But I’m not afraid of you. I never will be. You’ve been a killer, maybe you even thought you were a monster, but that’s not who you are.  We do need protection, but not from you.  _ Never _ from you.”

 

One side of Eliot’s mouth tilted up in a sad, self deprecating smile.  He laid his hands on Parker’s shoulders, squeezing softly. “And I’m gonna do everythin’ in my power to keep it that way, sweetheart.”  He slid his hands down her arms until their fingers could lace together. “Go home to Hardison. Hold him a little extra tight tonight for me, yeah?”  Parker nodded, her eyes burning. Everything was so right. How could it be going so wrong? She tried to keep ahold of his hands, but he was pulling away and she couldn’t stop it.

 

“I love you,” she said, breath hitching.  There was that smile again, soft and pained and heartbreakingly sad.

 

“I know.”  He turned and walked away, leaving Parker standing in the living room struggling not to cry.

 

***

 

Twenty minutes later - and it was at least half an hour drive by any sane standards - Parker slipped into the apartment bedroom window.  Hardison didn’t even jump when she crawled into the bed with him, not because she hadn’t surprised him, but because he’d gotten so used to it that it barely even registered any more.

 

He put his phone away and searched her face, eyes hopeful.  She shook her head.

 

“Damn.”

 

“But it’s not what we thought.  He did say that worrying about our relationship was a part of it, but he’s convinced that he’ll hurt us.”

 

“Like, metaphorically?”

 

She shook her head again, then rested it against Hardison’s bare chest.  “Literally. Falling asleep and lashing out during a nightmare or losing control during sex.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Parker looked up, surprised that was all he had to say.  “You don’t  _ agree  _ with him, do you?  It’s ridiculous! Eliot would  _ never-” _

 

“Hold up,” Hardison forestalled her tirade before she could get going.  “Eliot’s the most controlled man I’ve ever met. And don’t think I doubt even for a minute that he wants to keep us safe.  Yeah, maybe he’s being overly hard on himself with the sex thing, but the nightmares… that could be a real issue. No one can be in control one hundred percent of the time.  The man sleeps less than two hours a night. If that’s when his defenses are down, he can’t do anything about that. I don’t want to see you hurt, Parker. But can you imagine what it would do to  _ him _ if something happened to one of us at his hands?”

 

“Then we have a separate bed for him to sleep in or something!  It isn’t right to leave him alone just because of some stupid dreams!”  Her voice dropped, aching just to recall. “You should have seen his face, Alec.  He was just so… broken. He wants us, and now he knows we want him, but he thinks he’s some kind of devil inside.  And he said something, about how we might find out things from his past that we can’t bear. He honestly believes that what he’s done is so unforgivable that we won’t be able to ever really accept him.  We can’t- we can’t let him go on feeling like that.”

 

“I know.”  Hardison rubbed her back softly, feeling almost as torn up about it as she did.  He hadn’t seen Eliot’s reactions first hand, but he could tell just how much  _ both _ of the people he loved were in pain.  “We’ll figure something out. It’s what we do.”

 

Parker was quiet for a long time, then sighed.  “He built that house for us.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“He stays there, but he built it for us.  There are places for rigging, carabiners in the ceiling, one of those Multiquip Komatsu generators you’ve been wanting but didn’t have space for here.  Hell, there are outlets every three feet in that living room, and Eliot doesn’t even own a TV. I don’t know if he even realized he was doing it at the time, but it’s designed for  _ us.” _

 

“Shit…”  Hardison didn’t even know how to process that.  He’d built Parker a safe cracking robot when he’d been showing her how much he cared.  Eliot had built them an entire estate with his bare hands and hadn’t even put a single move on them.  If the way he’d reacted earlier was any indication, he didn’t have any intention of  _ ever _ doing so.  What kind of a man did something like that for someone, expecting never to act on their feelings?

 

Eliot, that was who.

 

Yeah, there were a whole shit-ton of issues they were going to have to work around, but Hardison was more determined than ever to find a way to do so.  They could make this work. They had to, for all their sakes.

 

“Wait, baby, did you say he has a  _ Multiquip Komatsu?” _

 

Parker rolled her eyes.  “Hardison-”

 

“No, no, you’re right.  Bigger picture here. But still.  Dayum.”

 

Parker laughed and snuggled in closer.

 

***

 

Eliot lay stiffly in his single bed, staring up at the ceiling.

 

He’d just been offered everything he wanted, and he’d turned it down.  It had been the right thing to do. And that thought was the only thing keeping him in the bed and not tearing across town to get to Parker and Hardison.

 

He’d been lucky, really lucky, that his inability to hide his feelings hadn’t fucked things up beyond repair.  And it was more than anything he could have ever dared hope for that they actually wanted him, both of them, the way he wanted them.  In all the time he’d spent hating himself for loving them together, he’d never thought that they might feel the same. That they might want him as  _ part _ of them.

 

It didn’t erase his misgivings about a three way tango, but it went a long way to easing them.  Hell, if there was anyone who could do it right, make it work, it was them. But like he’d told Parker, that wasn’t even the biggest problem.

 

The last time he’d allowed himself to love someone, he’d still been a good man. And he’d let her down and broken her heart.  He didn’t want to think about what the man he was now could do to Hardison and Parker.

 

The thing was, he’d come a long way to accepting that he still had worth.  That there was some humanity left in him. He knew that no one would love them as deeply as he would, no one would protect them as fiercely as he could, no one would work even half as hard to do right by them.  But he also knew that no one would be more devistading to them if and when he  _ did _ slip up.  Physically or emotionally.  He couldn’t do that to them.

 

Remembering the look of hurt on Parker’s face told him that even doing this was already hurting them, but he pushed it away.  She had Hardison. They could lean on each other, and get over whatever they were feeling for him together. They’d get over him, and things would go back to the way they’d been before.  It was better this way.

 

He forced himself to stop thinking and sleep.  He’d get his ninety minutes and then go train. Being the best at what he did kept them safe, and he couldn’t afford to be anything less.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few things here... First, I've watched the OT3 episode like 5 times while writing this story (you KNOW the one...the way Eliot grabs the back of Hardison's neck to pull him close, the way Parker puts her hand on Eliot's stomach as they're walking away...hnnng!), so anyways, that's where the title comes from. Eliot may have been talking about the bad guy in that particular sentence, but it just applies to much to the way he is with everything! Ahem. Anyhow, there is some mild violence/injury descriptions in this chapter as well as smut at the end, just a heads up. Last thing, if you ever wanna come scream about Leverage with me (or YOI, or Sherlock, or HP, or Hobbit) come find me on Tumblr under the same name :D

For a while, it seemed like things  _ did _ go back to the way they’d been.  At least for the most part. There had been some pregnant silences and sideways looks, words bitten back over and over again and a sense of longing so strong it was almost palpable.

 

But then, routine gave them back their normality.  Parker had never been so glad to hear a  _ damnit Hardison, _ and Eliot was relieved when Parker went back to poking his bruises.  Yeah, she pressed ice to them afterwards now, and she and Hardison seemed to have a strange obsession with doctoring him after any scrapes, but he could deal with that.  He still gave empty threats to beat Hardison with his own limbs when he backed them into an awkward situation with a mark, Hardison still confused him and Parker with tech speak that they just nodded along to, and Parker’s wild grin rushing into danger still lit up the room.

  
  


All in all, they were still very much them, and for that, Eliot was infinitely grateful.  The things that  _ did _ change, he just rolled with.

 

Parker still hedged him into hanging out, but they gave him space without complaint when he was tired.  Both of them made a point of thanking him whenever he cooked for them or stocked their fridge or fixed the door knob, or any of the other little things he’d thought he’d been getting away with doing unnoticed.  That one was harder to swallow, but he couldn’t deny that there was an addicting kind of pleasure to the gratitude they were giving him. 

 

Perhaps the strangest difference in their dynamic was the talking.  Hardison had always been an open book, willing to share his past and work through any issues for the future.  He was surprisingly eloquent, on a personal level, when something needed said. And he had more courage than both of them in saying exactly what he meant and how he felt.

 

Eliot had seen some of that over the years they’d worked together, both directed at the team, and when he’d been opening himself up specifically to Parker.  He’d admired Hardison’s ability to do it, even if he knew it would never work for himself. But he knew that it was a strength, to be able to open up to the person he loved, and Eliot had seen Parker learn from him in turn.

 

She was almost as reticent as Eliot himself with her past, but slowly, she’d begun to share more.  She was more willing to have a discussion instead of charging off on her own, willing to ask for help instead of trying to handling everything by herself.

 

Eliot knew that they were more open with each other than ever before, closer and more stable than ever before, and that it had come from a lot of honest communication.  But he’d never expected that dual candor to be directed at  _ him. _

 

They included him in discussions about their relationship, asked his opinion on personal matters, and expected him to talk  _ with _ them.  They never asked about his past or pressed him when he closed up, but their gentle persistence was more effective at getting information out of him than any torture.  He found himself  _ wanting _ to share with them.  To talk about his childhood, give his opinions on things, admit his feelings.

 

The thing was, he didn’t want to have secrets from them.  From the rest of the world, yes, his secrets kept him alive.  But they  _ weren’t _ the rest of the world.  They were  _ them, _ and he wanted them to know it all, the bad and the good, not just because he wanted them to know him completely or because they deserved to know the whole ugly truth about him, but also because there was some small, selfish part of him hoping for absolvement.

 

Which was a shitty thing to think and would be an even shittier thing to act on.  It was exactly why he  _ shouldn’t _ be so close to them.  They didn’t need the burden of his past on their shoulders, and even if they could somehow not hate him for the worst things he’d done, their forgiveness wouldn’t erase his sins.

 

So he doubled down on his efforts to be cautious, to not share too much.  And they respected his space - which made it even harder. He knew how to withstand pressure.  He felt helpless against unconditional acceptance. How was he supposed to fight against the simple, selfless love they showed him every day?

 

Because, at its heart, that’s what it was.

 

No, there weren’t any physical overtures, but what they were doing was showing him how much they cared for him.  And the already blurred lines between their closeness as a team, as partners, were disappearing outright. One by one, his defences against them were coming down, even while they respected all his boundaries.  He didn’t see how it could be possible, and yet there it was.

 

Despite his intents otherwise, they slowly became a couple - triad? - all but sexually. 

 

It was terrifying, but it happened so effortlessly, felt so natural, that he didn’t know if he could or  _ should _ stop it.  If they could make it safe for him to have them every way but in bed, then he would take that.  He’d take it and be grateful. Yeah, for a man who’d never suffered lack of sex in his life suddenly having nothing but his hand to satisfy himself with wasn’t exactly optimal… but as sappy and ridiculous as it was, just  _ thinking _ about Parker and Hardison while he got himself to climax was better than physically sharing the experience with anyone else.

 

So, it seemed like everything had fallen into place on its own.  That this new dynamic was the one that would stay, that would be permanent.  And Eliot was okay with that. More than okay. He would have been happy to live the rest of his life like this.  But he should have known he wasn’t that lucky.

 

A job went south, no one’s fault really, just a string of things no one could have accounted for, and Eliot had stepped in to do his job.  Not taking down hired guns, not diffusing bombs or disarming thugs. All that was incidental. His job was to be the failsafe. The retrieval specialist who got them out when everything was against them.  To do whatever he had to in order to keep them alive.

 

And that’s exactly what he’d done.  There’d been too many people to disarm or fight them all, so he’d just put himself between Parker, Hardison and danger, and took the punishment.  It was what he was best at. What he could offer them that no one else could. A human shield who would trade his life in an instant for theirs.

 

He carried Parker, who’d broken her leg, against his chest, and herded Hardison, still dazed from a flashbomb, towards their escape.  By the time they made it out, Hardison had come around enough to notice the way Eliot’s body jerked and staggered with the force of another bullet slamming into him.  His vision cleared enough to see how pale Eliot had gone, see just how much blood they were trailing behind them.

 

Eliot fell to his knees just before they reached the van, somehow managing to keep Parker in his arms.

 

“Shit shit  _ shit. _  Eliot, c’mon man.  Just a little further.  You can’t stop now. You can’t.”  Hardison opened the doors in the back and lifted Parker inside.

 

“Hardison?  What’s wrong with him?”  Her voice was shaky with fear.

 

“C’mon, just a little further.  Get into the back, Eliot.” Hardison tried to lift him, but even as strong as he was, Eliot wasn’t cooperating at all, and his bulk seemed to weigh as much as a small army.  “You gotta help me, Eliot! I can’t lift you on my own.”

 

“Eliot?!”

 

Parker tried to lean forward but her leg kept her back.  It was enough to tell Hardison how to get Eliot on his feet, though.

 

“Get in the van,  _ now. _  I’m not fucking leaving without you.  If you want to keep me and Parker out of those guys hands, if you want us to get to safety, then you’ll get in the damn van!”

 

He was less than half conscious, but the words had the exact effect Hardison had known they would.  Eliot rose, impossibly, to his feet. He leaned on Hardison the last steps and then made it into the van.  “You gotta stop that bleeding,” he shouted to Parker as he closed the door and rushed up to the driver’s seat.  He whipped out of the parking lot quicker than Parker could have, heading towards the nearest hospital. “Just hang on,” Hardison called back to them.  “Portland General is only ten minutes away.”

 

Eliot tried to speak, coughed blood, then tried again.  “No hospitals,” he rasped. Parker didn’t look up from finding bullet holes in him and binding them.  “No hospitals,” he repeated, louder.

 

“You need a doctor, Eliot.  This - this looks bad.”

 

“There’s an address,” he bit out, “in my pocket.  Take me there.”

 

“Eliot, you need-”

 

“Please.”

 

Parker grit her teeth and pulled the address out of Eliot’s wallet.  It was in code, but she knew almost all the codes he used. “Turn right up ahead,” she called to Hardison.

 

“Wha- are you outta your damn mind?  The hospital’s left!”

 

“It’s what he wants.  We’ve got to trust him.”

 

“Parker-”

 

“We promised, Hardison.  We promised we’d respect his choices.”

 

“That was about-” he stopped, hating himself for even considering this. “Son of a bitch,” he muttered.  He turned right.

 

***

 

The building was an empty warehouse with a phone inside.  It rang when Hardison walked in. At the mention of Eliot’s name, they were directed to the warehouse across the street, where a man who didn’t look like any doctor Hardison would trust his loved ones with immediately started working on Eliot.

 

A woman who seemed vaguely familiar stopped him when Hardison tried to protest.  She explained that the man  _ was _ a doctor, albeit one who’d lost his license years before.  He’d doctored Eliot’s more serious injuries on numerous occasions.  And that was when Parker finally recognized her.

 

“Gail!”

 

Gail nodded.  Eliot had hired her to stay with him a few times when he needed longer term care.  Neither Parker or Hardison was happy with the run down conditions of the shop, or the fact that the doctor saving Eliot’s life wasn’t licenced anymore, but they were at least relieved that they knew him.  He’d trusted these two to help him before, and Eliot wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t think they were up for the job.

 

When she was sure they weren’t going to try and take Eliot somewhere else, Gail went off to help the doc, leaving Hardison and Parker to wait on their own.

 

It was the longest few hours of their lives.  They barely spoke, barely moved except to hold each other tighter.  They were both going over every aspect of the job, trying to figure out what went wrong, blaming themselves for what had happened.  They  _ wanted _ to be able to blame themselves.  Wanted there to be something they could pinpoint as where everything fell apart, something they could learn from so this never happened again.

 

But unless one of them had been able to see the future, there wasn’t any avoiding what had happened.  They couldn’t control everything, despite all their skills. And that made this so much worse.

 

Eventually, the door behind them opened, and Eliot came through it, leaning heavily on the wall.  The doc was behind him, voicing protests at him standing on his own, but then Hardison and Parker were there, supporting him.

 

Gail offered her services, but they declined.  Eliot didn’t need to hire anyone to take care of him any more.  They were going to be there for him, through this and anything else.  If there had been any doubts left, this would have put them to rest.

 

After getting a bottle of antibiotics and instructions on how to change the dressings on Eliot’s wounds, the trio left.  By some unspoken agreement, Hardison drove to Eliot’s place instead of to the apartment. He’d never been there, but he knew the route by heart.

 

Eliot didn’t speak until they got him through the front door, and then he turned to them with a kind of resignation on his face that went through them both like a lance.

 

“I’ll probably be more than just a few days gettin’ over this one, but I’ll call you guys when-”

 

“Woah, dude, you don’t seriously think we’re  _ leaving _ you here, do you?”

 

“But-”

 

“You heard the doc.  Someone’s gotta change those bandages.”  Parker tried for upbeat and ended up sounding a bit manic.

 

“I can take care of it.  I’ve done it-”

 

“You took  _ a dozen bullets _ for us.  If you think we’re not going to stay and take care of you-”

 

“Then you’re crazier than I am,” Parker finished.

 

Eliot looked like he was going to protest for all of ten seconds, and then the blood loss and the anesthetics and the basic longing that he was tired of fighting caught up with him.  He let himself sag against them with a nod.

 

“Alright.”

 

***

 

They spent two weeks living at Eliot’s house and taking care of him full time.  After the first few days when he’d been in and out of consciousness most of the time, he wasn’t too happy about being coddled, but they didn’t let that stop them.

 

He snapped and snarled and gave them his best glares, but they were wholly ineffective against Parker and Hardison determined to see him back to full health.  They changed his dressings, made sure he took his meds, and fed him the healthiest foods they could make. By the end of the first week he insisted they help him to the kitchen so that he could give them directions on how to make something edible.

 

Neither of them complained, and all three of them were shocked when the pasta they completed was actually pretty damn good.

 

When he started getting around more, Eliot realized just how much more lived in his house had become over such a short time.  Hardison had somehow managed to get a giant ass TV into the living room, and his electronics were scattered around they way they usually were at the apartment.  Parker seemed to spend a quarter of her time hanging out in the ceiling beams. They’d been sleeping in a room near his, despite him offering them the master bedroom, and even that seemed incredibly intimate.  The smell of Parker’s orange blossom shampoo filled the house in the mornings when she showered, then lingered faintly all day.

 

They settled into Eliot’s home as easily as they’d settled into his life.  It would have been perfect, if he wasn’t expecting that any day now, they would moved back out and life would go back to normal.

 

By the end of the second week, all the bandages had come off.  He was still taking it easy, but the need for him to have someone around to take care of him dwindled to nothing.  He half expected to see bags by the door already, but neither Parker or Hardison seemed inclined to leave.

 

That afternoon, he took an easy turn through his training field.  He was stiff and sore, but nothing had been seriously damaged by any of the bullets.  Halfway through, he noticed Parker watching him.

 

“Hardison thinks you shouldn’t be out here yet,” she called, popping a chip in her mouth.  Eliot grunted, dodged a jab from the training dummy coming at him at about half the speed it normally would, and rolled out of its reach.

 

“Yeah, well I’d like to see him try an’ stop me.”  He moved onto the next section, knocking three hundred-pound sand bags out of the way before having to dive to catch the fourth one.

 

“Right now, he might just be able to.”

 

Eliot snorted.  “If you really think that then all the more reason for me to be out here.”  He climbed up over the obstacle wall, catching himself when one of the footholds gave way unexpectedly.

 

“Doesn’t really matter.  I told him to leave you alone anyways.”

 

“Well thank’ya kindly,” he drawled sarcastically, throwing his pocket knife at a moving target, then yanking it out and throwing it at the next one before it crashed to the ground.

 

“I’m not sure if I should say ‘you’re welcome’ or not.  I don’t think you should be out here yet either, but I know better than to try and argue with you about it.  I wish you’d come back in, though.”

 

Eliot dodged the logs swinging around him, a little lightheaded from the exertion and trying to have a conversation at the same time.  “Parker, this is what I-” He was pitched forward as a log connected solidly with his back. It hurt like a son of a bitch, but he kept his cry of pain bitten off, knowing Parker would be upset by it.  He rolled with the hit, letting the momentum of it propel him forward out of the training field. He landed on his back with a thump. A moment later, Parker’s face appeared above him. She offered him a hand up, which he accepted.

 

“This is what I do,” he finished, dusting himself off.  “I ain’t just the best at my job because I’m a good fighter.  It’s because I can get back up after a blow and keep goin’. I didn’t get that way by sittin’ out every time I got banged up.”

 

“That’s not-” She stopped and shook her head, not ready to start that conversation yet.  “I’d say a dozen bullets is more than just ‘banged up,’” she said instead, looking at the scrape on his elbow.  He jerked his arm away.

 

“If you didn’t come to stop me, what’re you out here for anyway?”

 

“To tell you we wanted to talk to you when you’re done.  Hardison’s making dinner, and we wanted to sit down together after.”

 

“Oh.”  Well, this was it, then.  They were going to tell him they were going home now that he didn’t need them any more.  One last dinner, then they’d be on their way. He probably needed another two weeks before he was up for any more jobs, so he doubted he’d get to see them much.  The thought of that hit him harder than he expected it would. “Yeah, I’ll be in in just a bit.” Parker nodded and turned back towards the house. “And tell Hardison not to burn down my damn kitchen!” he called after her.

 

She laughed and waved him away, then disappeared into the house.  Eliot went to the outside shower to rinse off, trying very hard not to think of how empty the house was going to be without them in it.  He  _ should _ be relieved they were leaving.  He’d always been a private person, always needed solitude.  He liked things done a certain way and kept such a varied schedule that it was easier not to have to include others in it outside of work.  He should have been glad he could get back to that.

 

And really, it wasn’t as though they were  _ leaving. _  Not in any kind of permanent way.  They were just going back home. To their home.  In another two weeks he’d be over there picking new marks from the Black Book with them.  The distance would be a good thing. It would give him time to get his head back on straight.  To remember that there were boundaries that they shouldn’t cross, and damn good reasons not to.

 

By the time he’d toweled off and redressed, Hardison was putting food on the table.  It looked like a simple mac and cheese, but since nothing smelled burnt and there wasn’t any orange soda in sight, Eliot wasn’t going to complain.  He dropped into his chair - when had this one become his chair? They were all his damn chairs. But somehow the three of them seemed to have each claimed one of their own.  It was just one more over familiarity to get past - and grimaced. Maybe he’d pushed a little harder than he ought to have with the training.

 

Hardison’s eagle eyes didn’t miss the flicker of discomfort.  “See woman? I told’yall he shouldn’t be out doin’ whatever the hell goes on out there.  Dude just had a dozen bullets pulled outta him. But does anyone listen to me? Noooo.”

 

“I’m  _ fine,” _ Eliot snapped.  Parker didn’t agree with him, but she didn’t say anything else, either.

 

“Fine my ass,” Hardison grumbled.  He plopped a healthy portion of pasta on Eliot’s plate and thrust it at him.  “Eat your damn food.”

 

“I’ll eat it if it’s edible,” Eliot groused back at him.  Really though, he could already tell it was going to be good.  Even if it hadn’t been, he wouldn’t have complained about anything Hardison made that didn’t involve copious amounts of processed junk.

 

The two of them bickered through dinner, which was comforting in its familiarity.  So it would be a while before he got to do this again - he’d manage just fine. He always had.  The last two weeks they’d spent with him had been great, despite their sometimes overbearing and unique brand of TLC, but it was already more than he’d expected to get.  And if two weeks without them was the price he paid for having gotten them safely out of that mess on the last job, then it was more than worth it. He’d have gladly given his life.  A little loneliness for a few weeks was a damn small price to pay.

 

When the dishes were cleared, they moved into the living room.  Both Parker and Hardison looked uncomfortable as they faced him across the coffee table -  _ when the hell had they brought a coffee table? _ \- but Eliot wasn’t surprised.  They probably didn’t know quite how to bow out of the situation.  Maybe they even felt guilty about leaving, though they didn’t have any reason to.  He’d assure them of that when he sent them on their way.

 

“So listen, man, we wanted to uh… talk.”  Hardison scratched his ear and tugged on it a little.  Parker laid her hand on his thigh in solidarity. “We’ve thought about it over and over, both of us, and we can’t see how things could have gone differently.  What we could’ve  _ done _ differently to keep you from getting-”

 

“Wait, what?”  Gone differently?  It wasn’t like there was any other outcome to them going home.  Or did he mean- “Are you talkin’ about the  _ job?” _

 

“About you getting hurt,” Hardison clarified.  Eliot scowled at him. “It shouldn’t have happened.  We should’ve-”

 

“Should’ve what?  There was  _ no _ way for either of you to have known what was gonna happen, and nothin’ you could’ve done to prevent it.  We’re good at what we do, but we ain’t perfect. There’s always risks. That’s why I’m there.” 

 

“That doesn’t mean we can’t be sorry when you get hurt,” Parker whispered.  “Or thank you for protecting us.”

 

Eliot shifted; now he was the one uncomfortable.  “You ain’t gotta-” he stopped, shaking his head. “I don’t need thanks for doin’ my job.  I don’t thank you for your hackery mumbo jumbo,” he said to Hardison. “Or you for gettin’ into safes and doin’ most of the planning,” he added to Parker.

 

“Yeah, well, hacking a few databases or creating a cover story ain’t the same as willingly putting yourself between us and a hail of bullets.  So just let us say-”

 

“That’s my  _ job-” _

 

“It’s not the job, Eliot, and you know it.”  Parker’s hands curled into fists and she forced herself not to get up and start pacing off the excess emotion.  She still wasn’t good with this stuff. “If we were just out on the street together, not pulling a con, and someone started shooting, you’d do the exact same thing.”

 

“That’s because I-” Eliot stopped, terrified of what he’d almost shouted at them.  Parker went around the low table and knelt by Eliot’s feet, putting her hand on his arm lightly.

 

_ “We know. _  That’s why we  _ should _ thank you.  Why you deserve to hear every day how much we appreciate you.”

 

“She’s right,” Hardison added, coming to stand beside them.  “We care about you. No-” he stopped himself. If someone was going to be able to say it out loud, to both of them, then it was going to be him.  “We love you, Eliot. All the way. One hundred percent. And we’re not gonna try and force you into something you don’t want, but we know you care about us too, more than just as teammates.  So there’s no reason for us not to say it. Not to let you know all the damn time how much you mean to us.”

 

“Unless for some reason you don’t want us to,” Parker added.  “Do you?”

 

Eliot looked between them, at the sincerity in their eyes, at the naked affection they were offering him.  He felt humbled by it. “I- No. No, it’s fine.” He cleared his throat, which was suspiciously tight. “More than fine.”  They grinned, and he had to laugh. “I thought you guys were gonna tell me you were leavin.’”

 

“Leaving?”

 

“Ah hell no,” Hardison objected.  “I just finally got the network here set up the way I like.  Besides, someone needs to be here in case you push yourself too damn hard and bust somethin’.”

 

“We’re sticking around until you kick us out.”

 

“And even then, she’ll probably just sneak back in.”

 

“He’s right.  I would.”

 

“I’m aware,” Eliot grumbled, but there was no real frustration behind it.  If they had any doubts, the smile that followed would have been confirmation enough. 

  
  


***

 

With that, Eliot’s fears that they were going to leave any moment evaporated.  They’d as good as moved in, and while he knew the situation was temporary still, he wasn’t gonna look a gift horse in the mouth.  He’d take them for as long as they’d let him.

 

He still worried about getting too close, about hurting them, but they were so careful to respect his boundaries that it was harder and harder to be afraid.  He was getting closer to three hours of sleep a day while still recuperating, but they never tried to wake him when he was out. They hadn’t asked anything he wasn’t willing to share.  And they hadn’t pushed for anything physical beyond the contact they’d already grown used to.

 

The problem with that was that while  _ they _ were staying strictly platonic, Eliot’s imagination was  _ not. _

 

He dreamed about them.  He’d known he would. He was a creative man, and he could read people pretty damn well.  It was what had made him so good at his job as a hitter. But those same traits also meant that he could imagine, vividly, what Hardison and Parker would be like in bed.  

 

He knew Parker would be the wild one.  Emotions might trip her up on occasion, but sex was simple.  She would be the one who knew exactly what she wanted and was always eager to try something new.  And Hardison… the man was all sentiment. He’d be the one to light candles, to take his time breaking down every single barrier until his partner was a writhing mass beneath him.  He’d be good at what he did, because the man was a genius, and he’d be a little cocky too, but there’d be an undercurrent of reservation with that. He’d want vocal approval to assure him he was doing the right thing.  He’d want to please.

 

Thinking about the two of them with each other was already overwhelming enough.  When his fantasies started including himself as well… now there was enough to fuel cold showers for a lifetime.

 

In fact, the only thing that was helping him keep his libido in check was that occasionally, those dreams turned into nightmares.  Sometimes he’d see himself fucking Parker hard and fast, Hardison beneath her holding her steady, and he’d rest his hand on her throat.  Her eyes would shine with anticipation and thrill as he squeezed. Not enough to bruise, not enough to cut off her air, just enough to set her heart racing and her adrenaline flowing.  And then in a flash, it wouldn’t be Parker beneath him, it would be a mark. One of the dozens of faces that were burned into his mind. He’d see their eyes as the light left them, as vessels burst and terror faded to nothingness.  Then, the image would superimpose over his fantasy, and it would be Parker’s eyes that had gone flat, her throat crushed beneath his fingers.

 

It was only by years of training and outright luck that he hadn’t woken up screaming on more than one occasion.

 

He wondered, if things stayed the way they were, if he’d ever be able to really enjoy sex again.  It wasn’t that he wasn’t capable. He damn sure was. But the last woman he’d taken to bed hadn’t interested him in the slightest.  She’d been gorgeous, smart, and funny. She should’a been perfect. Instead, he’d spent their entire date thinking about how she didn’t have long, dark fingers that could make the world dance on strings made of computer code.  That she didn’t have a body that could contort into every shape known to man and a few no one had ever seen before. That she couldn’t tap into a CIA surveillance feed with nothing but a smartphone and Wi-Fi, and she couldn’t diffuse a bomb while hanging upside down.  Which had fuck-all to do with sex, but it had affected him just the same. He’d gotten her off twice - the first one because he might be a killer, but he was still a gentleman, and the second time because he’d felt guilty at finding her so lacking - and then made his excuses to leave without getting one of his own.

 

Did he really want to try that again?  Was it worth the let down and disappointment?  And what would that do to Parker and Hardison if he  _ did _ ?  He hadn’t made any commitments to them, not like that.  And they’d thought he was still going out with women until a few months ago without showing any jealousy, but that had been before they’d all shown their hands.  Would it upset them, seeing him with someone else when they were all in love with each other? Would he feel guilty about that?  _ Should _ he?

 

For the time being, he knew seeing anyone else was out of the question.  He’d almost fully recovered, but what he felt for Parker and Hardison was still too strong.  He didn’t  _ want _ anyone else, and it would be unfair to take anyone else to his bed when he’d just end up thinking of them again.

 

He spent a lot of time with his punching bag, and a lot of time in the shower, and a lot of time definitely not staring at the lips of his housemates.

 

Which would have been an abysmal failure anyways, but things weren’t helped any when Parker started kissing him.  Admittedly, they were chaste kisses, the kind you’d give to neighbor for helping find your dog, or your grandma on her birthday, a quick peck while bounced up on the balls of her feet and then she was gone.  But they still went through Eliot like electricity.

 

The first time she did it, he’d just finished making his chili, which was her favorite, and she’d done it while he was holding her bowl out to her.  It was a good thing she’d already taken it, because he would have dropped the damn thing if she hadn’t.

 

“You’d probably punch me if I tried that, huh?” Hardison asked with a teasing grin.

 

Eliot had growled, “try it and see,” then shoved a bowl at him and made more noise than was strictly necessary ladling up his own.  He’d sat down to dinner that night half pissed off, half turned on, and one hundred percent screwed. After that, things only got more complex.

 

Each time Parker came near him, he had the flash of will-she-won’t-she and the rush of both anticipation and fear that came with it.  And she kissed him about half the time, so there really was no predicting her. Not only that, but she’d started varying  _ where _ she kissed him, while still maintaining the veil of propriety.  Once she’d dropped from the ceiling and kissed his forehead. She alternated cheeks.  She kissed his jaw - which had sent him  _ straight _ to a cold shower - and his chin.  Once, he’d turned to hear Hardison talking in the other room and she’d kissed him on the corner of his mouth, right were the dip began.  She’d just winked at him and walked away with the popcorn he’d just made her.

 

Hardison wasn’t ignorant of the plethora of kisses.  After the first time he’d asked about getting punched, he repeated the question a few more times when he saw Parker kiss Eliot.  His tone was always light, and Eliot always growled back,  _ ‘try it and see’, _ but even that was starting to sound more like foreplay than a threat.

 

The problem was, that’s  _ exactly _ what it was.  They both knew that Eliot wouldn’t harm a hair on Hardison’s head.  So his goading, while still said gruffly enough to mean  _ back off, _ was empty.  But how long would it be until that empty threat became an invitation?

 

***

 

Parker was trying her best to respect Eliot’s boundaries.  He’d made his feelings - both about them, and about a relationship with them - perfectly clear.  Knowing how he felt about them was enough for her. It was. Or, it should have been.

 

She wasn’t lacking anything.  Hardison was a very hands on person any time she wanted it, and his stamina wasn’t in short supply.  But now that she’d gotten used to expressing her affection physically, she wanted to be able to do that to  _ both _ of the men she loved.

 

So, she’d started with cheek kisses.  Those innocent kisses had been enough between her and Hardison for a long time.  She reasoned that they should be enough to sate her desire to be physically demonstrative with Eliot for at least that long or longer.  But whether it was the fact that she’d graduated from cheek kisses with Hardison long ago, or that Eliot was just such a physical presence, the cheek kisses weren’t cutting it. 

 

She tried mixing it up a little, seeing if alternate placements would change anything, but no dice.  Her next experiment would be making out with him, and she wasn’t sure if that was an okay step to take.  Not that Hardison would mind - they’d discussed it at length before - but because she didn’t know if that would cross one of Eliot’s lines.

 

He’d said he worried about hurting them in his sleep, by talking about his past, and during sex.  They’d been careful avoiding the first two completely, and she intended to do the same with the last one too, but kissing wasn’t sex.  Yeah, mouth kisses were most often a lead up to sex, but not always. So would it be okay to kiss Eliot as long as she made it clear there wouldn’t be any sex after?

 

Just thinking about kissing Eliot like that sent waves of warm pleasure through her.  So maybe she’d  _ want _ sex after.  But she wouldn’t push him for it.  She supposed she could always ask Hardison to take care of that.  But would that be unfair to Eliot? To kiss him, then go have sex with Hardison when she was turned on?  It wasn’t like she would be turning Eliot  _ down, _ but it still seemed… wrong.

 

She considered asking Hardison about the kissing issue first, but he was in the middle of some game championship tournament thing, and she didn’t want to mess up his concentration.  She could have waited. But that wasn’t who Parker was at all. Instead, she went to find Eliot.

 

He was outside, just finishing up a shower after training.  When he spotted her, he was quick to pull his clean shirt on.  He did that a lot, make sure he had clothes on whenever they were somewhere it was light.  At first she’d thought it was a modesty thing, or a no-sex thing, but now she had other suspicions.  Those were for a different time, though. What she was focused on was kissing. She fell into step with him as he went to check on the garden.

 

He’d just plucked a strawberry from the patch and offered it to her when she asked, “Eliot, do you like kissing?”

 

He almost face-planted in the dirt.  “Do I-  _ what?” _

 

“Like kissing.  Real kissing. On the mouth.  With tongue.”

 

“I- uh, yeah.  It’s fine. Kissing is… nice.  Why?” He pulled a weed growing between his tomato plants and hoped the movement hid his too-eager curiosity.

 

“Because I like kissing.  I didn’t used to, but now I do.  It feels good. And it’s a nice way to show someone you care.”

 

“That’s… good.  I’m sure Hardison’s happy about that.”   He pulled up two onions and handed them to Parker, hoping they would distract her.  “Here, hold these.”

 

She took the onions, but didn’t change the subject.  “Would  _ you _ be happy about that?”

 

“I’m happy if Hardison’s happy,” he hedged, adding a few carrots to the pile in her arms.

 

“That’s not what I mean.”

 

“Then what  _ do _ you mean, darlin’?”

 

“I mean, would you be happy kissing me?  Real kisses.”

 

“Parker, we’ve talked about this-”

 

“No, you said you worried about sex.  Kissing isn’t sex. At least, it doesn’t have to be.  So I want to know if it would be okay. And if so, if there are other things that would be okay.  And what they are, and how often.”

 

Eliot wiped his hands on his bandana and shoved it back in his pocket, squinting against the setting sun as he tried desperately to sort out his feelings.  

 

“I don’t-” he stopped, still having absolutely no idea what to say.  “Let’s go back in.” He picked the melon he was standing by and turned back to the house.  Parker followed him without comment. They dropped off the produce in the kitchen and she still stood silently by his side, waiting for her answers.  He cleared his throat.

 

“I would be… happy to kiss you, sweetheart.  More’n happy.” He held up a hand to stop her bright smile.  “But I don’t know that it’s a good idea. I’m weak for you. You and Hardison both.  I’m afraid that if I let myself have that much, get that close, I’m not gonna be able to hold back from takin’ it all.”

 

“But we’d be glad to let you.”

 

“Yeah, up to the day that I hurt one of you.  I’ve explained this before.” He turned and went to the living room, dropping down onto the couch.  Parker followed him again.

 

“I know.  And I’m not trying to push you, I promise I’m not.  I’m just asking. I’m trying to - understand. Do you really trust yourself so little?”

 

“I don’t trust myself at all,” he growled.  “And when it comes to this, neither should you.”

 

“That’s not true.  You trust yourself to be around us, to protect us.  You trust yourself to give me piggyback rides and to hug Hardison.”

 

“That’s different.”

 

“How?  I don’t see where the line is.  We trust you, Eliot. Unconditionally.  With our bodies and our hearts. You’ve  _ never _ given us reason to doubt it.  If we did, we wouldn’t ask that of you.  We’d still love you, but we wouldn’t put any of us in that position.  But we do trust you. Can you even imagine what it would take to make you hurt one of us?”

 

“I wouldn’t-  I don’t know.”  His blood was pounding in his ears, uncertainty eating at him.  His hatred of the things he’d done, his fear that he might ever go back to that, warred with the knowledge that he would never willingly cause Parker and Hardison any harm.  The very thought of it chilled him.

 

How many times had Parker come up on him silently and latched onto his back and he’d been able to suppress his automatic reaction to attack because he realized it was her?  How many times had he been lost to the heat of a fight, with bloodlust bright in his eyes, and Hardison had provoked him with some stupid comment and even though he’d snarled threats, acting on any of them hadn’t ever crossed his mind?

 

And he’d been with other partners before, plenty of them, and never hurt one.  Even when things got wild, he’d been careful. He’d stayed in control. Wouldn’t that reign on the darker parts of him be only all the more rigid if he was with Hardison and Parker?

 

And then an ugly voice in his head was telling him that he was making excuses.  He wanted them, and he knew it was dangerous, and he was just rationalizing it until he could take what he wanted.  They didn’t know just how much of a monster he’d been. They didn’t know what he was capable of.

 

But he was capable of more than just violence.  He knew that.

 

“Eliot?”  Parker sat beside him and reached out, like she wanted to touch him, but wasn’t sure he would let her.  It was enough to interrupt his introspection. He took her hand in his and held it tightly.

 

“I don’t know.  I feel like… like I’m risking you by even considering more.  Like I don’t deserve you for even thinkin’ about putting you in that position.  But I know - I  _ know _ I wouldn’t ever willingly hurt you.  I’ve never lost control like that before, and I don’t want to think I would.  But what if I did? It would only take once-”

 

“I wish you could see yourself the way we see you,” Parker said, turning his face toward hers with her free hand.  “When I look at you, I see a man with incredible strength, but also incredible gentleness. A man with an endless capacity to love.  A man who is capable of violence but uses that to protect. You’re a defender, Eliot. That is your strongest instinct. More than anything else, your automatic response is to keep us safe.  You’ve proven that over and over again. I don’t see how this would be any different.”

 

“There’s always a risk,” Eliot tried to insist, but it came out weakly.  His resolve was starting to slip, his carefully ordered reasons why they couldn’t take this thing further crumbling away under her logic and faith.

 

“You’re right,” Parker agreed.  “There’s always a risk. In everything we do.  We lead dangerous lives. And none of us,  _ none _ of us, doesn’t have baggage.  When Hardison first started pursuing me, one of the biggest things that held me back was risk.  Not just that one day something would happen to him, but that my feelings for him might disappear as easily as they’d come.  I didn’t want to take the chance that I’d hurt him like that. And Hardison, he’d constantly worried about pushing me too far or bringing up a memory I don’t want to face.  Not even because he doesn’t want me to stab him with a fork,” Parker smiled a little and Eliot huffed out a laugh, “but because he doesn’t want to hurt me. The thing is, we already decided that those risks were worth taking.  That we’d rather live with a little uncertainty than a lifetime of regret for what we didn’t even try.”

 

Eliot studied the curve of Parker’s face, the cupid’s bow of her upper lip, the flecks of gold in her eyes.  Every single thing about her was more valuable to him than any treasure the world had to offer. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do to keep her safe, to make her happy.

 

“I’m always gonna do whatever’s necessary to protect you.  Even from myself.” Parker’s face started to fall, but Eliot brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it.  “But right now, I’m gonna make another promise, and that’s to make you as happy as I can while I do. I ain’t sayin’ I’m gonna be any good at this.  I ain’t a horse I’d bet on. But if you’re determined to, then I’ll try my damndest not to let you down.”

 

“Eliot-”  Parker leaned closer, needing to touch him more, to feel him beneath her fingers.

 

“Slowly,” he cautioned, hands on her shoulders to steady her.  “If we do this, we go slow.”

 

“Slow,” she agreed.  There was still part of him that didn’t trust himself.  They would need to give him time to prove to himself that he  _ should. _  “Can I kiss you now?”

 

When he saw that she was listening, that she wouldn’t just launch herself into his arms and crack the last of his control, he nodded.  Parker slid her hands up his arms, across his shoulders and neck, and twined her fingers into his hair. Her lips hadn’t even hit his and he was already consumed with this kiss, with the feel of her holding onto him.  He didn’t allow himself the same luxury, still not entirely certain that he wouldn’t crush her to him, but he let himself cradle her carefully. Let himself shift slightly so she could slot herself against him. She was close enough that their noses brushed, that he felt her breath whisper across his cheeks, and then slowly, softly, her lips pressed against his.

 

There weren’t fireworks or crashes of lightning with the kiss.  He wouldn’t have been able to handle that. He would have pulled away, afraid of the violence of his reaction.  Instead, it felt like a slow burning started low in his belly and spread. A fire of nothing but pleasure licked along his skin, danced across his nerves.  When her tongue brushed softly against his lower lip he opened for her, met her halfway. He didn’t control the kiss, but he gave back everything he got, each shiver and caress.

 

He wanted more, deeper and harder, consuming instead of just tasting, so he pulled back.  When her eyes opened, they were warm and dazed, and a smile curled her kiss reddened lips.

 

“You’d probably punch me if I tried that,” Hardison said softly.  Eliot looked over, and a hot stab of shame went through him. Parker was his.  He shouldn’t have kissed her, shouldn’t have put his hands on her, shouldn’t have stepped in where he didn’t belong-  But Hardison wasn’t looking at them with betrayal or jealousy. The expression on his face was more like… longing.

 

Eliot’s voice was deep and rough when he spoke, but hardly more than a whisper.  “Try it and see.” This time, Hardison didn’t back away. He knelt on the couch at Eliot’s other side and let one of his hands slide into the place Parker’s had just vacated.  He kept his eyes open as he moved closer, looking for any sign that Eliot would turn away. There was none. He waited a beat when his lips were hovering just above Eliot’s, giving him one more chance to back out.  Eliot lifted his head to close the distance.

 

For all that he loved them the same way, kissing Hardison wasn’t anything like kissing Parker.  It wasn’t just the shape of their mouths, which Eliot knew he was going to have burned into his mind for the rest of his life, or differences in the way they tasted.  It was the  _ way _ they kissed.  Despite her caution, Parker had been all certainty.  Even when it was tempered, she was wild and bold. Hardison was less uninhibited, testing each move, waiting for some sign of acceptance before repeating them.  He was learning Eliot with each careful foray, using that genius mind of his to uncover every little thing that would drive Eliot wild.

 

That kind of single-minded focus was as arousing as it was overwhelming.  By the time Hardison pulled back, the denim that had been biting into Eliot’s arousal had become outright painful.  He let that pain ground him. He deserved it, after all, didn’t he? He shouldn’t be allowed this kind of pleasure.

 

Parker’s hand dropped lightly to his thigh, only inches away from the insistent throbbing.  “Can we touch you?” she asked. Eliot hadn’t yet looked away from Hardison’s dark eyes. Both of them were still trying to catch their breath, their reactions to the kiss on naked display.  There was nothing but pleasure and hunger for more on Hardison’s face.

 

“Slowly,” he reminded Parker, finally looking her way.  She nodded. Hardison shifted until he was sitting beside Eliot, so he was surrounded entirely by the heat of them.

 

“Slowly,” she agreed.  Her deft fingers were at his fly a moment later, undoing one button at a time.  “Just tell us if you want us to stop. We’re only going to touch. Nothing more.”

 

Only?  It already sounded like more than he could handle.  Parker finished with the buttons and Hardison’s hand slipped under the edge of the denim to give a tug, and then Eliot’s erection was freed of its confines.  Just the release of pressure, the exposure to the air, was enough to make him jolt and shudder.

 

_ “Jesus H-” _ Hardison half choked, staring down at him with wide eyes.

 

“What,” Eliot growled, feeling a flush rise to his face.

 

“Nothing!  I just mean - congratulations or whatever, man.  That’s… that’s- impressive.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Yes, sir,” Hardison agreed.  Parker giggled. And just like that, some of the tension had left the air.

 

“I wanna feel it,” Parker declared with a grin.

 

“Get in line, girl.”

 

“Somebody do  _ somethin’ _ or I’m puttin’ it away,” Eliot threatened.  As one, their hands reached out. There was that single moment of hesitation again, their eyes flicking back up to check his expression, then at the slightest nod, they touched him.  Parker went right for a handful, grasping in the middle of his shaft and squeezing. If that hadn’t been enough to punch the air from his lungs, then Hardison’s fingers trailing from the base of him, up across Parker’s hand, and then brushing softly over his tip, would have done the trick.

 

_ “Fuck-” _  It was intoxicating.  It was mind blowing. The sensation of their hands on him, the visual of contrasting light and dark skin against his own flush, the sound of their breath in his ear…

 

Then they really started moving, and even in this, they were so much themselves that it had him aching with emotion.  Parker dove in head first - not literally, though he could already imagine what she would be like doing  _ that _ \- stroking him boldly.  Hardison followed her movements, paying attention to any place she missed, filling in the spaces until he felt engulfed by them.

 

Parker was watching every movement with bright, eager eyes, but Hardison had dropped his face down, angling toward the side of Eliot’s neck.  His lips hovered over Eliot’s pulse, and Eliot tilted back to give him room. A soft drag of teeth against his skin made him shudder, then the glide of tongue to ease the sting had him pressing closer, begging wordlessly for more.  He could  _ feel _ Hardison’s satisfied smirk against his throat, and then he was quick to oblige.  The nip came again, a little harder, against the crook of Eliot’s shoulder.

 

“Alec-”  It was building more quickly than he could have ever imagined it would.  Hardison’s mouth and hand teasing him, Parker urging him along with sure, steady strokes-  He was going to finish before they’d barely even begun. “Sweetheart, if you don’t slow down, I ain’t gonna last.”

 

“Then don’t last,” she said, as if it was the most logical thing in the world.  “This is about you. No pressure, no expectations. Just let it happen. Let us take care of you.”

 

Eliot groaned and gave in, letting himself give up his internal struggle.  He put himself in their hands completely. When the sweet rush of release started to rise, he let it crest unhindered.

 

“God-”  He wanted to say something, to let them know, but they seemed to know already.  They urged him through it, holding him tightly as his cock jerked in their hands and his breath came out in a harsh exclamation of pleasure.  Then suddenly the sensation was almost too much and he hissed. The pressure on him lessened, but didn’t vanish. Soft, short motions coaxed aftershocks through him.  He felt boneless, utterly wiped out.

 

When he opened his eyes again, there were two faces above his own looking pleased and aroused.  He offered a lazy smile before the creep of guilt prickled up his spine. He’d let them give him so much pleasure without offering them anything in return.  It felt wrong. They deserved better.

 

“What?  What’s wrong?” Parker asked, seeing his face fall.

 

“I just-  I should’a seen to you first.  But I don’t think I can-”

 

“Stop thinkin’ like that, man,” Hardison demanded.  He wiped his hand on a tissue and tossed it away negligently.  “No one’s keeping score here. You don’t  _ owe _ us anything.  We wanted to make you feel good, and we did.  That’s it.”

 

“Don’t mean you shouldn’t get to have that seen to,” Eliot nodded down at Hardison’s obvious erection.

 

“Yeah, well, there’s plenty of options for that.  Stop thinking like you’ve gotta be the one to give everything.  We can give too. Tell me, honestly, what you want next.”

 

Eliot took a deep breath and tried to let himself truly believe those words.  Then, he turned to Parker. “You in the mood for somethin’ more, darlin’?”

 

“Hell yes,” she agreed.

 

“Alright then.  Can I- I want to… watch.  You together.” It felt wrong to even voice the desire, selfish and undeserved, but already a slow smile was spreading across Hardison’s face.

 

“We can make that happen.  C’mere momma.” He held out his hand for Parker, who draped herself across Eliot’s lap bonelessly.  Hardison arranged her so that she was sitting on Eliot, her back against his chest, her legs hooked over his thighs.  Then he knelt down between them and started working her pants down. “Think you can get those buttons?” he asked Eliot, nodding to Parker’s shirt.

 

His fingers might have fumbled a little with the slowly receding daze of pleasure and the sudden build of further anticipation, but Eliot managed.  With the last button undone, the edges of her shirt fell away, revealing the soft swell of her breasts, nipples already standing eager for attention.  “I wanna touch you,” Eliot rasped in her ear. Parker raised her hand to wrap around the back of his neck.

 

“Please.”  It was all the invitation he needed.  He stroked his palm down her sternum, admiring the way she rose to his hand.  Hardison had already stripped her pants off and met Eliot’s fingers halfway, twining them together.  They rested there for a moment before Parker impatiently lifted her hips. “Alec, more.”

 

“I gotchu baby.  Just hold onto Eliot.  I’ll do the rest.” He let Eliot’s hand go and pushed down his jeans.  Eliot let out a low whistle.

 

“Congratulations yourself, man,” Eliot echoed his words from before back at Hardison, who  _ blushed. _  Eliot didn’t think he’d ever seen him do that before.

 

“Yes, you’re both exceptionally fine specimens of manhood.  Now let's get to the part where you put it to use.” 

 

Eliot chuckled.  “She always this impatient?”

 

“It’s Parker,” Hardison said with a grin and a shrug.  Parker opened her mouth to reply, but Hardison slid the tip of his cock over her clit and she moaned instead.  He teased her for a bit, spreading her slickness along his cock and denying her just the right amount of pressure until she was panting and outright demanding more.  Then he slotted himself against her and pressed inside.

 

Eliot watched, rapt, as the length of Hardison’s cock disappeared into Parker.  Seeing the place they were joined was so intimate that he was almost breathless with the love he felt for them.  They were connected, the two of them, and now they were making him part of that same bond. Parker’s hand in his hair tightened and she tugged.  It sent another wash of pleasure through him, and he thanked her by thumbing at her nipple until she cried out.

 

“God, this feels-” she broke off and arched in pleasure.  “Having you both like this… It’s perfect.”

 

“You’re perfect,” Eliot whispered to her.  “You both are. Gorgeous.” His eyes tracked down the pale length of Parker’s body and then up Hardison’s.  He’d stripped off his shirt at some point, and Eliot admired the view. The man was undoubtedly a computer geek, but his body said  _ made for sex. _  He was lean and muscled, and the way he was moving his hips was sin incarnate.  Parker lifted to meet his next thrust, but Eliot could see that with the angle she was at, leaned back against his chest, she couldn’t quite get the right friction.

 

He took her free hand in his own and slid it down her body until they were between her legs.  Then he stroked their joined fingers over her clit. “Show me how you like it,” he asked. She turned and met his lips in a blind, messy kiss, moving their fingers together over herself.

 

“That’s it, baby,” Hardison encouraged, his voice husky with pleasure.  “You’re already so wet, so tight. Are you close?”

 

Parker broke away from the kiss to answer.  “Yes- Everything is- god, it’s exactly right.”  She shuddered in pleasure. “One day, I want to be in exactly this position again, but I want you  _ both _ inside me.”

 

Hardison groaned, slamming into her deep the same time Eliot sank his teeth into her shoulder.  She shrieked, body bowed up with the force of her orgasm. Her fingers had gone lax, but Eliot kept up the steady assault on her clit until she was whimpering for reprieve.  Hardison gripped her hips tightly and let himself go, driving hard and fast until he spilled.

 

He collapsed on top of them just as Eliot moved their hands out of the way.  It probably ought to have been suffocating, but Parker just hummed in satisfaction.  Come to think of it, Eliot imagined that Parker probably  _ liked _ restriction.  He pictured her in her harnesses amid a net of ropes… yeah, there was probably a bondage scenario or two there to be considered.

 

If he’d been a decade younger, his cock would have already been hard again.  As it was, he let himself enjoy the feeling of his semi cradled against Parker’s ass.  After a moment, he felt Hardison’s hands slide up his flanks and settle in to hold him.

 

“That was fan-tast-ic,” he mumbled.

 

“Looked that way,” Eliot agreed.

 

“Seriously, man, I don’t think she’s ever come that fast before.”

 

“Yeah, well double the stimulation, half the time.  I thought you were good at math.”

 

Hardison laughed.  “You’re right as usual, Parks.”

 

“It only makes sense…”

 

“Nothin’ about you makes sense, sweetheart.  That’s the best part.” Eliot kissed her forehead and brushed her hair off of it.

 

_ “One _ thing makes sense,” Hardison argued.

 

“Oh?”

 

_ “This. _  This makes sense.”  He held them both tighter.  Parker nodded against him, and Eliot  had to agree.

 

“Yeah… yeah, you’re right.  Somehow, it does.” He kissed Hardison’s temple, then shifted under them.  “Let’s move up a bit. Your knees are gonna be sore tomorrow.”

 

“‘S worth it,” Hardison said, but pulled out and sat back.  He shucked his jeans while Parker peeled away her shirt. Then she curled back up in Eliot’s lap and Hardison ended up sprawled over them both.  They were starting to doze only a moment later. Eliot held them tighter, still baffled by how in the hell he’d gotten so lucky but determined not to let them slip through his fingers.  Hardison roused a little, blinking up at him. “You gonna be okay with this?” he asked. “With the sleeping?”

 

Eliot cupped the back of Hardison’s neck and urged him to lay his head back down.  “I’ll be fine. Get some rest.” Hardison closed his eyes, not doubting for a second that Eliot had everything in hand.  If he’d thought there was any chance of him actually falling asleep, Eliot would have herded them to the bedroom from the start and gone off somewhere to sleep on his own.  But Eliot had no intention of sleeping. He was usually a man of action, perpetually in motion, but in that moment, all he wanted to do was stay exactly where he was and feel the weight of the people he loved pressed against him, hold them close, and watch them dream.

 

***

 

Later that night, Eliot carried them both to bed.  He was fairly sure he could have carried them both at the same time, but not without either tossing one of them into a fireman’s lift or squashing them both, so he picked up Parker first, then went back for Hardison once she was tucked in.  He was fairly sure it would have made a comical picture, if anyone had been there to see - Eliot picking six foot plus Hardison up bridal style to carry him to bed - but the man refused to be roused and only snuffled contentedly against Eliot’s chest as he walked through to the bedroom.

 

“Damnit, Hardison,” he muttered, his tone disgustingly fond.  Once he had Hardison on the bed, he shifted around a bit, looking for something, but then he found Parker and wrapped around her like she was a teddy bear.  After one last, lingering look at them, Eliot forced himself to leave.

 

He went to his room, to the single bed that suddenly seemed very cold and very empty.  But there were now memories to warm him, and he kept them close as he closed his eyes and finally allowed himself to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

An hour and a half later, Eliot’s internal clock woke him up.  He stretched in bed, feeling a series of muscles that had begun to lock up suddenly relax.  The memory of the evening before, which had never fully receded from his mind, washed through him pleasantly.  When he looked down, he was hard again. Well that was inconvenient. 

 

Instead of either taking the matter in hand or stepping into a cold shower, he settled himself into his meditation pose and closed his eyes.

 

He’d had sex with Parker and Hardison.  Kissed them both, crossed lines he’d drawn in the sand, watched them find pleasure in each other’s arms.  There was a part of him ready to rip himself to shreds for allowing it to happen, but he pushed that away.  Self deprecation wouldn’t help him think this through. What was done was done, for better or worse, and now he was going to turn his mind to dealing with it.

 

They’d have to talk, all three of them.  He needed to make sure that in the light of morning, they still felt the same way they had before.  There was a quick, cold slice of fear with that thought, that maybe they would have changed their minds now that they’d gotten what they wanted, but he pushed that aside too.  They’d given him no reason to think that would be the case. He just needed to wait and see.

 

If things were unchanged, if they still wanted him all the way, then they’d have to put up new boundaries.  He was already thinking of limits he needed to set, concessions they would have to make, but he tried to ignore those, too.  It wasn’t fair of him to make unilateral decisions any more. They were going to have to wade through this together, learn each other’s limits and find ways to make this work.  He needed to compromise with them, and he couldn’t do that by coming to the table with an unbendable list of demands.

 

But they would talk, and sort it out.  They would establish new boundaries. They’d have to decide, too, what exactly this was.  The fact that they’d all already admitted to being in love should have simplified things, but it didn’t actually clarify what they each wanted outside of that.  So they were a couple - a triad, more like. Did that mean they were exclusive with each other? Did they have a label they wanted for themselves, and each other?  Were there things that Parker and Hardison wanted to keep to themselves, since their relationship had started first? Did they want to act romantically involved in public, or keep projecting the same image that they had before?  Would that affect their work at all? Was there any increased risk to any of them if they were known to be involved?

 

They needed to discuss all of that, and probably a dozen more things he hadn’t even thought of yet.

 

Satisfied he had a plan, even if he didn’t know all the answers yet, Eliot rose and started his day.

 

***

 

Three hours later, Parker woke to the smell of coffee and frying potatoes.  She grinned.

 

“Hardison!  Hardison!” She jostled him, but he barely moved.

 

“Mmwh…”

 

“Eliot’s cooking breakfast!”

 

“Tha’s nice.”  He snuggled closer, his eyes still closed.

 

“Maybe he’s doing it naked.”  Something that was pressed against her back twitched.  “I wanna go see!”

 

“M’kay baby.  Have fun.” He didn’t even move to let her go.

 

“Don’t you want to see too?”

 

“Tha’s okay, you c’n have first dibs.”

 

Parker huffed out a laugh.  “Fine, but don’t blame me if there isn’t any breakfast  _ or _ Eliot left by the time you come down.”  

 

Hardison cracked a smile, despite his eyes still being closed.  “The man’s got plenty of stamina, girl. I ain’t worried.”

 

She laughed again and wriggled out of his hold, stuffing a pillow in his arms instead.  He snuggled into it as she made her way into the kitchen.

  
  


The down side was that Eliot was not, as she’d hoped, naked.  The up side was that he was making a potato and egg skillet, which was one of her favorite breakfasts.  She poured herself a cup of coffee while he diced onions, then popped up on the counter beside him.

 

“Mornin-  _ woah!” _  Eliot’s knife wielding hand froze and he covered his eyes with the other one.  “Clothes, Parker!”

 

“Why?”

 

“Cuz- because people wear clothes!  And they especially don’t put their bare asses where the food gets prepared!”

 

“Okay, I get the food thing.”  She hopped down and snatched the washcloth draped over the faucet to wipe the counter.  Eliot was still holding a hand in front of his eyes. “You can look, you know. You saw waaay more than this last-”

 

“Just-” Eliot gave up covering his eyes and snatched Hardison’s shirt from the night before off the back of the couch.  He tossed it at Parker. “Put that on.”

 

“Well good morning to you too, grumpy pants.”  She pulled the large t shirt over her head and noticed that Eliot didn’t relax until the hem of it fell below her hips.

 

“I ain’t grumpy.  I’m just not- I mean, we gotta talk about stuff before there can be any more naked time, okay?”

 

“Talk about what?”  Parker hopped back on the counter, making sure the shirt stayed between her butt and the marble.  Eliot returned to his dicing and growled when she snatched a piece of mushroom from him.

 

“About rules.  And boundaries.  And if  _ everyone _ is comfortable with naked early morning Parker.”

 

“But don’t we break rules for a living?”

 

“Not our own rules, Parker.”

 

“Okay,” she agreed, “but what’s the problem with morning nudity?  Is it the nudity, the time of day, or me specifically?”

 

“All of it.”

 

“But  _ why?” _

 

“Because,” Eliot said slowly, trying to keep himself from snapping at her - again, “I’m new to somethin’ you an’ Hardison’ve had goin’ on for a while.  And until we’ve talked about this stuff, we’re gonna keep any nudity, especially of you around me, to a minimum.”

 

“Ooooh!  You think Hardison won’t like it!”

 

Eliot poured the eggs into the frying pan, where the rest of the veggies were turning golden.  “I just think- it might make him uncomfortable, alright? He seems okay with all this, but I highly doubt he’s been in a situation like this before, so he might not even know what’ll bother him.  I just wanna make sure no one gets hurt.” He flicked his wrist and the entire contents of the skillet flipped over. Parker waited until he’d set the pan back on the burner before tugging Eliot over to her.  His hands settled automatically on her thighs and he went to pull back, but she stopped him.

 

“I know you’re trying to do the right thing, Eliot.  I appreciate that, and I know Hardison does too. But you’ve gotta trust that we know what we’re doing.  Hell,  _ he’s _ the one who sent me down here alone without any clothes on.  So just-” she took his face between her hands and rested their foreheads together, “relax.  And let’s start again.” She kissed him softly. “Good morning, Eliot.”

 

He smiled a little, that half smile that tugged at her heart.  “Mornin’, darlin’.” He kissed her then, as sweet and brief as hers had been.

 

“Now plate up that food.  I’m starving!” She smacked him on the ass and urged him back to the stove.  Eliot nipped playfully at her fingers but plated the steaming meal and handed one to Parker.

 

They’d almost finished by the time Hardison dragged himself into the kitchen.  He yawned loudly and dropped a kiss on Parker’s head as he went by, then did the same thing to Eliot as he took the coffee cup Eliot held up for him.  His eyes finally managed to open all the way once he’d sat down and had a long drink.

 

“Morning all.”  He hitched his foot up onto his chair and dropped his chin down to rest on his knee, uncovering the plate of food Eliot had left for him.

 

“Morning!  You have to wear a shirt!”

 

“Huh?”  Hardison looked at her like she’d spoken a foreign language, his fork still half in his mouth.

 

“Eliot says we can’t be naked in the morning until we all talk.”

 

“He ain’t naked, Parker,” Eliot cut in.

 

“But he’s not wearing a shirt, and that’s what you made  _ me _ put on.”

 

“But he’s wearin’ pants!”

 

“So just pants is okay?”  She turned to Hardison. “Hey, switch me.”

 

Suddenly the image of Parker sitting at the table in nothing but pajama pants and Hardison in nothing but a t shirt sprang to life in Eliot’s head, and he nearly choked on his last bite of potato.

 

“Nobody take any clothes off.  Everyone at this table is required to stay dressed exactly as they are, until they leave this table.  Is that clear?”

 

“No complaints from me,” Hardison said, holding onto the waistband of his pants.  He knew for a fact that Parker could literally steal them off his ass if he wasn’t paying attention.  “But, uh, you care to share why there’s a dress code for breakfast?”

 

Eliot rolled his eyes upward in a plea for patience.  “There’s no dress code. I just wanted everyone to stay clothed until after we’ve had a chance to talk.”

 

“Especially me,” Parker added.  Hardison picked up on what was going on, but he grinned.

 

“Aw, man, now that’s sexist.  Why you gotta be like that?”

 

“One more word and the rest of that food leaves this room on your face instead of in your stomach,” Eliot threatened.

 

“Fine, fine.  Someone’s wearing their grumpy pants this morning.”

 

“That’s what I said!” Parker exclaimed.  Eliot downed the rest of his tea and stalked out of the room leaving Parker and Hardison laughing behind him.  He absolutely was  _ not _ smiling.

 

***

 

“Okay, so, let’s talk.”  Hardison sat down in the chair across from Eliot.  Parker was sitting cross leg on the coffee table. “What do we need to iron out before people can be naked around here?”

 

Eliot huffed.  “I just thought it’d be a good idea to make sure we’re all on the same page about this stuff before we do anything else.”

 

“Liiike whether or not I’ve got a problem with Parker making naked breakfast with you?”

 

“No one’s making naked breakfast.  That ain’t sanitary. But naked in general, yeah.  I know we all- we’ve got this thing. But the two of you have been together for a while now, and it might bother you, seein’ her and me-”

 

“No.”

 

“Hardison, you don’t know that.”

 

“Yeah, I do.  If it was anyone else, it would be a problem.  Hell yeah. But it’s  _ not _ anyone else.  If I walk in on the two of you macking in the kitchen, I’m not gonna be jealous of either of you.  I’m gonna be jealous I’m not in the middle of it, maybe, but that’s it.” He saw the conflict on Eliot’s face still, and added, “and if it ever  _ were _ to become a problem, I’d talk to you about it.  Both of you. You aren’t a third wheel here, Eliot.  You’re part of this. Part of us.”

 

Eliot nodded, accepting that.  As long as they were all upfront with each other, and he had their word they’d tell him if anything changed, that was good enough.  “Alright, then. And what  _ is _ this?”

 

“You looking for a dictionary definition of polyamory?”

 

“No, asshole.  I mean, is that what this is?  Dating? Is it somethin’ we’re open about?”

 

“That’s- what we call it, yeah.  We want it to be the same, unless that’s something that bothers you.”

 

“I think he’s asking you to he his boyfriend, Eliot,” Parker interjected with a smile.

 

“Damnit woman, why you gotta make it sound like that?  That is  _ not _ what I said.”

 

“Yeah, but it’s what you mean, isn’t it?” Eliot asked, smirking.

 

“You-”  Hardison pointed at him with narrowed eyes.  “Don’t you even start. Cuz if you’re my boyfriend, then I’m your boyfriend.  That sound good to you, honey bunch?”

 

Eliot grimaced.  “Fine, truce. Can we all agree on a more adult term?  Like, partners?”

 

“But we’re already partners,” Parker objected.

 

“That’s kinda the point.”

 

“Ooh.  In that case, yes.  Motion passed. Or, however this works.”

 

Hardison laughed, shaking his head at her.  “This isn’t a committee, baby. But I think that means we all agree.  So - partners.” He looked over to Eliot. “That’s another thing down.  What next.”

 

“Don’t just keep lookin’ to me for all this.  Don’t you guys have questions, too?”

 

“Actually, I do have one…” Hardison did his ear scratch/tug thing that told Eliot he was uncomfortable.  “When you said ‘open,’ earlier, did you mean, like, open to other people?”

 

“What?  No, open as in, do we tell people we’re a couple-triad- _ thing. _  Did  _ you _ mean with other people?”

 

“Wait.”  Parker held up a hand.  “One issue at a time. The public thing first.  Anyone have any objections?”

 

“I thought maybe it would be dangerous, at first, but anyone who knows enough to come after me through people I care about would go for one of you anyways.  It hasn’t exactly been a secret that you’re mine.”

 

“And if someone was trying to get at one of us through you-”

 

“I ain’t worried about that.”

 

“Alright, point taken,” Hardison agreed.  “So it’s not that we  _ can’t. _  It’s just a matter of if we  _ want _ to.”

 

Parker shrugged.  “I don’t see any reason not to.  We told people when you and I started dating,” she said to Hardison.

 

“I’m not saying I’m against it, but there’s a bit of a difference here, Parks.  Two guys is still unconventional in some parts of the world. A girl and two guys is unconventional almost anywhere.”

 

“What do we care about that?”

 

“It’s just- people can make things hard for you if they don’t like the way you’re livin’ your life.  They see somethin’ they don’t understand and they judge it.” Eliot sighed, not liking the truth but accepting that there were some things you couldn’t change.  “I don’t think we’d get much outright hostility, and I’m more than capable of handlin’ anyone stupid. Enough to try, but it’s not an easy thing to live with all the time.”

 

“I don’t want to be around anyone who would be like that.”

 

“You don’t always get that option, Parker.”

 

“Why not?  It’s not like we’d tell our marks about our personal lives, and if we’re getting flack from friends, then they aren’t really friends.”  She made a ‘nix’ gesture.

 

“Friends and marks ain’t the only people we see.  There’s the staff at the pub, people at the grocery store, random people on the street-”

 

“But how would they know we were together anyways?”

 

“That’s kinda the point of what he’s askin, babe.  It’d be pretty obvious if we were holding hands or something.”

 

“Oh, yeah, that’s true.  Or kissing.”

 

“Yeah, kissin’ would be a pretty dead giveaway,” Eliot said with an indulgent smile.

 

“Okay, well I mean, I don’t want random strangers watching us.  That freaks me out just on its own. But I also don’t feel like I should stop getting kisses just because some judgy people are around.  I just want to… be us. And if that’s professional, fine. And if it’s more than that, that’s fine too. And if anyone says something nasty about it, Eliot gets to kick their ass.”  She looked between them for agreement. Hardison inclined his head to her.

 

“Sounds good to me.  You okay with that too?”

 

“Yeah, I’m good with that,” Eliot agreed.  “Who’s gonna tell Nate and Sophie?”

 

“Not me,” Hardison said quickly.

 

“I can do it!  I’ll just say that we were talking about bans on kissing and ended up naked on the couch, and from there-”

 

“Nevermind, I’ll tell ‘em.”  Hardison shooshed Parker with a finger to her lips.  She shrugged.

 

“Okay, now back to the other question.  Eliot asked if you were asking about seeing other people.”

 

“Nu-uh, I didn’t ask that.  Eliot’s the one that asked about seeing other people.”

 

“I didn’t ask about seein’ other people!  I was askin’ about- you know what, it don’t even matter.  It’s somethin’ we need to talk about anyway.”

 

“So?”

 

“Why’re you both lookin’ at me?” Eliot demanded.

 

“Because,” Parker explained, “we already know we don’t want anyone else.  But if you want-”

 

“I-” Eliot stopped, knowing how he felt but wanting to order his thoughts before he blurted them out.

 

“Listen man, we know you’ve never wanted to settle down before, and we’re gonna love you either way, but we hope-”

 

“Just- shut up for a minute, Hardison.  I ain’t lookin’ for anything else. Hell, what I’ve been lookin’ for the last few years was somethin’ to make me forget about  _ you. _  I’m not some prick who’s incapable of staying faithful.”

 

“No one said that you were,” Parker interjected.

 

“Well I’m not.  I didn’t commit myself to anyone because when I tried that before, I learned my lesson.  You can’t make the same promises to two different obligations. And for a long time now, my priority’s been the team.  I couldn’t promise to always be there for anyone else when I knew you guys came first.”

 

Hardison grinned.  “But when the relationship  _ is _ the team…”

 

“Exactly.”

 

“So just the three of us then?” Parker asked.

 

“Yeah, darlin’.  Just the three of us.  Think I’m gonna have my hands full with the two of you anyhow.”

 

“Does that mean we’ve talked about enough to be naked again?”  Parker was already reaching for the hem of her shirt when Eliot caught her hand.

 

“Wait.  Gettin’ naked is gonna lead to other stuff, and we ain’t even discussed that yet.”

 

“What’s there to discuss about that?  Sex is fun. We all enjoyed last night, right?”

 

“I’m sure you wanna know if you can get  _ more _ than you did last night, right?” Hardison reasoned.

 

“Well yeah, but I thought last night meant-”  She turned to Eliot. “We  _ can _ do more, can’t we?

 

“Parker, I-”

 

“Because we already talked about trust.  You’re not going to hurt us, Eliot. I mean, not unless we ask for it.”

 

Hardison did a double take.  “That one’s all her, man. Alec does  _ not _ do pain.  Not nohow. I don’t even like having enough hair to pull.  But what ya’ll crazy people do is up to you.”

 

“I ain’t talkin about a little rope burn or a sore ass, Parker.  I’m strong-”

 

“We know that.”

 

“No, you don’t.  You think you do.  You’ve seen me work.  But you haven’t seen what I’m  _ capable _ of.  And I don’t mean killing.  I just-” he stopped, running his hand through his hair.  “You need to know that if I squeeze too long or hit too hard, we aren’t just talkin’ about a few bruises.  It’d be worse than that.”

 

“I know that, Eliot.  And I trust you to stop if I ever tell you that it’s too much.  You’re never far enough gone that you’re not thinking about us. I’m not worried about that.”

 

“I wish you would be.”

 

“No, you don’t.  It’d break your heart if we didn’t.”

 

Eliot didn’t say anything, because it was true.  He couldn’t bear the thought of them losing faith in him.

 

Hardison cleared his throat.  “So we want you, and we trust you, and that’s enough for us.  Is it for you?”

 

“It might not always be.  If there’s any time I feel like I’m not in control, or I’m not one hundred percent certain I can hold back, then it won’t be.  But, for now… for now, it can be.”

 

“Okay.  Well, okay.  Good then.” Hardison shared a smile with Parker that so obviously said  _ yeas baby! _ that Eliot had to laugh.

 

“What about limits, in the bedroom?”

 

“I don’t like limits,” Parker pouted.

 

“We still need to talk about them.  I’d rather we discussed it now than have somethin’ come up when we’re already in the middle.”

 

“Well I don’t have any.  At least not with anything we’ve tried.”  She shrugged. “And if there ever was something, I’d tell you guys.”

 

Hardison cleared his throat.  “I, uh, I don’t really think I have limits, per se.  I don’t like pain, and I’m not really into rough stuff, but it doesn’t freak me out to see or anything.  And I haven’t actually ever  _ done _ anything with a guy before, but I mean, I’ve seen stuff, and there isn’t really anything anything I’m opposed to.  Like, for letting you…” He trailed off, looking anywhere at Eliot’s face.

 

“He means butt sex,” Parker supplied helpfully.

 

“Baby!”

 

“What?  That’s what you meant, right?”

 

“Yeah but you don’t gotta just put it right out there like that!”  He shook his head, muttering to himself. “But… yeah. She’s right.  I’m up for… whatever. Gently.”

 

Eliot smiled a little.  “I ain’t gonna jump you.  If it’s not somethin’ you’ve done before, but you wanna try, then we’ll ease into it.  I got enough experience to keep you from gettin’ hurt.” He paused, then leaned forward and let his hair curtain his face a little.  “But, before you agree to anything, you should know that I can’t- That’s not somethin’ I can have done to me.”

 

“Oh, that’s-”

 

“It ain’t about not wantin’ you to.  There’s nothin’ I don’t want to give you, or let you have.  It’s just that-”

 

“Eliot, you don’t have to explain.”

 

“I’m not tellin’ the stories.  You don’t need to hear that shit.  But it’s important that you understand.  That’s- There’s a few basic torture techniques used to try and break a man.  And I’ve been tortured a time or two.” He ignored Parker’s soft gasp, and Hardison’s hands fisting on the arms of the chair.  “It ain’t about what happened. It’s about the man I had to be to get through it. And I don’t want that man within a thousand miles of either of you.”

 

“Alright,” Hardison agreed, his voice quiet.  “That’s not something we need to do. We don’t even need to talk about it.  But Eliot, if you ever  _ do _ need to talk about it-”

 

“I know.”  He smiled a little, crooked and hesitant.  Parker suddenly got up from the coffee table and dropped herself into Eliot’s lap.  When he put his arms around her, she pressed a kiss beneath his ear. “What was that for?” he asked, his smile becoming a little fuller.

 

“Because I can.”

 

“Fair enough.  You’ll get no complaints from me.  And you’re next on the agenda anyways.”

 

“What about me?  I already said I don’t have any-”

 

“If we’re talkin’ about sex, then we need to talk about protection.  I’m assuming that you’re both clean so you don’t need condoms, and I’m  _ hopin’ _ you’d use somethin’ more effective-”

 

“We don’t use condoms.  We’re clean, and I can’t get pregnant.”

 

“You mean like you have one of those-”

 

“I had myself sterilized when I was seventeen,” Parker clarified.  “I knew that I wasn’t ever going to make a good parent, and it had the added bonus of getting rid of a whole bunch of other messy problems.”

 

“You-”  Eliot blinked at her, shocked.  “Really? When you were so young?”

 

Parker shrugged.  “It was the right decision.  I mean, can you imagine  _ me _ as a mom?”  She laughed, but Eliot’s return smile was forced.  He  _ could _ imagine her as a mother.  But that was a pack of other thoughts for a different day.  The point was moot.

 

“Alright then, no need for birth control.  And I get blood tests every few weeks to make sure I’m still in the clear, but there are going to be times we’ll need to either use condoms or abstain from certain things until I get another test.”

 

Hardison’s brow furrowed.  “But if you’re clean now, and we aren’t stepping out anywhere-”

 

“Part of my job is to make people bleed.  It doesn’t all helpfully stay on the floor every time.  If I get spattered with some random thug’s blood, I ain’t takin’ the chance that I got somethin’ from it that I could be passin’ onto either of you.  So after any fights where things get messy, we gotta take precautions until I get tested again.”

 

Hardison stared at him for a moment, then let out a breath.  “Effing hell, man.”

 

Eliot bristled.  “I know it’s a pain in the ass, but it-”

 

“You think I’m upset because of the  _ inconvenience?” _ Hardison demanded.  “I don’t care about that, Eliot.  I just… how did I never see just how goddamn dangerous your job is?  I mean, you get beat and shot and all kinds of other crap, and then on top of that you gotta worry about getting eaten from the inside out by diseases?  I didn’t even- it never even crossed my mind that you take those kinds of risks every time you step up for us.”

 

“It ain’t that bad.”

 

“Ain’t that-”

 

“It’s not.  I’m careful.  I do what I can to minimize the risks.  So far, it’s worked. And I’ll keep bein’ careful.  I’m only mentioning it now because I ain’t perfect. And on the times where there’s a chance, however small, I’ll keep that danger to myself.”

 

“You shouldn’t-” he stopped, shaking his head.  “I just wish you didn’t have to be in that danger at all.”

 

“We live dangerous lives, remember?”

 

“Yeah.  Yeah, I remember.  Listen, can we put a break on this for now?  I need some air.” He was up and out of the chair before Eliot even answered.  There was a pause - presumably Hardison getting dressed - then the back door slammed.

 

“He’ll be okay,” Parker promised.  Eliot looked down at her with a brow raised.

 

“What, you seen him like this before?”

 

“Not exactly like this, but remember a few years ago, one of my lines snapped and I messed up my leg?”

 

“Yeah, the rest of us went on a job in Japan.  You were  _ supposed _ to stay home and relax.”

 

Parker laughed.  “For as well as that worked out,” she said enigmatically.  “But the point is, when Hardison found out I’d been hurt, he kind of lost it a little.  He was terrified something was going to happen to me again. And I’m careful with my jumps.  I triple check my ropes, my harnesses, weather conditions, everything that might impact the jump.  Even the small ones. But the thing is, no matter how careful I am, there’s always a chance something could go wrong.  And Hardison… he doesn’t know how to live with that.

 

“What he does is a huge part of every job, but he doesn’t take the kind of risks we do.  Hell,  _ no one _ takes the kind of risks you do.  He doesn’t process it the same way, and it kills him that when it comes down to this stuff, there’s so little he can do to help.  He can’t hack a rigging harness. He can’t cure a disease with a computer virus. He’ll work through it, but for now he just needs some time.”

 

“Alone time?”

 

Parker smiled.  “A little company probably wouldn’t hurt.  I guess I’ll go get dressed after all. You go after him, I’ll catch up.”  She stood and started towards the bedroom, but Eliot caught her back.

 

“Hey,” he said, tipping her chin up with his knuckle.  “I’m sorry this mornin’ didn’t go quite the way you’d planned.”

 

“Don’t be.  I’m glad we’re working through some of this stuff now.  It’s important. Besides,” she leaned up and kissed him, then stepped back, “there’s always time for sex later!”

 

***

 

Eliot found Hardison standing at the edge of the training field.  It wasn’t up and running, but the logs in the evasion section were swinging in the breeze.  Hardison was staring at them as if he could  _ think _ them into stillness.  Eliot went over and dropped a hand on his shoulder.

 

“Hey, man-”

 

Hardison kissed him.  It wasn’t gentle or tender.  Not even particularly heated.  It was… desperate. Hardison’s hands were on either side of Eliot’s face, long fingers laced in his hair, not trapping him there but holding him close.

 

Most of the time, Eliot didn’t much notice the few inches Hardison had on him, but right then he felt every single one of them.  Hardison’s head was bent down, and Eliot’s tilted up, straining to get them even closer when Hardison groaned and deepened the kiss.  It had been more than a decade since Eliot had been kissed by a man aside from the night before, but he knew that he’d never been kissed by one like this.

 

With his hesitation, his inquisitiveness, his desire for approval, stripped away, Hardison was unadulterated emotion.  It felt like he was trying to pour love into Eliot directly from his lips. Like he could give him enough breath to save him when Eliot was down to his last.

 

When he felt Hardison start to tremble, Eliot stepped up.  He gentled the kiss until it broke, then held Hardison as tight as he dared.  There was a single pause, then Hardison was holding him too, taking in hitched breaths pressing his face against Eliot’s neck.

 

“I don’t- I’m sorry,” he finally said.

 

“For what?  The kiss? I oughta be thankin’ you for that.”

 

“For,” he waved his hand at the house, “all that.  The danger you’re always in.”

 

“Hardison-”

 

“I know it’s your damn job, don’t say it again.  But we don’t- we’ve never appreciated you enough.  Parker said something about it the other day, and I thought, yeah, she was probably right, we all take each other for granted a little, and maybe you got that more than most, but this…  It’s way beyond anything I thought. You do it all, you take it all, without asking for any gratitude or complaining.”

 

“Now that just ain’t true.  I bitch about the two of you all the time.”

 

“That’s not what I mean.”

 

“I know.”  Eliot pulled back a little, enough so he could look into Hardison’s eyes.  “I make a lot of jokes about you not doin’ anything except sittin’ behind your computer, but you’re what keeps us running, Hardison.  Your intel, the cover stories you make for us, have gotten us outta a hell of a lotta scrapes without even needing to lift a finger. And I take that for granted too.  When was the last time I thanked you for gettin’ blueprints of a building we’re gonna be in, or for all the time you spend researchin’ our marks to find their weaknesses?  But you do it anyways. We’ve all got our parts to play, and we need each other to do the kind of jobs we do.”

 

“I get that.  I do. I just hate you - either of you - being in danger at all.  Which is ridiculous considering the lives we all lead. I’m- I’m just rambling, Eliot.  Seriously, I’ll get over this. But believe me when I say that I’m not going to take you for granted any more.   What you do for us… it’s more than most people ask their  _ god _ to do.  You’re just-”  He stopped for a second, studying Eliot’s face.  “Are you sure you’re not actually a superhero? Are you from Asgard?  Were you exposed to gamma radiation as a child?”

 

“I ain’t no superhero, trust me.”

 

“You are to us,” Parker said, coming up behind him.  Eliot shook his head.

 

“Well then you’re crazy.”

 

“Yep.”  The way she said it made the ‘p’ pop loudly.  “But you love us anyways.”

 

The look on Eliot’s face softened.  “Yeah,” he admitted. “Yeah, I do.”

 

***

 

That night, there was an awkward pause after the movie they’d been watching had finished.  Before, that would have been the moment that Hardison and Parker went off to their room and Eliot went onto the next thing that needed doing.  But none of them were sure what to do this time.

 

Parker had been hinting fairly obviously that she wanted sex, and neither man was opposed, but they didn’t quite have the steps to this part of the dance down yet.  The couch wasn’t ideal, despite how well it’d worked the night before, and neither of their beds were big enough for three.

 

“We could- the master bedroom has the most space.”  Eliot shifted a little, not really looking at them.

 

“What kind of space?” Parker asked.

 

“Bed space.”

 

“Oh, let’s go there then!  Ours is too small to fit all of us.  At least, not if we plan any acrobatics.”  She grinned and marched them towards the bedroom.

 

“Acro-what?  Momma, you  _ know _ I am not that flexible.”

 

“True… but I want to see how bendy Eliot is.”  She winked at them and rushed ahead, tossing her shirt back behind her.  Eliot caught it and looked over at Hardison with a smirk.

 

“Twenty pounds of crazy,” he said.  

 

Hardison laughed.  “In a fine ass five pound bag,” he finished.

  
  


They followed her down the hall, and by the time they stepped into the room, Parker had already stripped down and launched herself onto the bed.  Eliot and Hardison stopped to admire the view as she rolled from her front to her back, then crooked a finger at them.

 

Hardison was halfway across the room in a flash, his shirt flying off and his pants around his ankles before he realized Eliot hadn’t moved yet.

 

“Lemmie just turn this off,” he said, reaching for the light switch.

 

“Don’t do that!”

 

“She likes the lights on, man.  Says it helps her get in the mood when she can see everything.”

 

Eliot stilled, a strange look crossing his face, then he smiled.  It was stilted, almost like it was forced. “I’ll catch a lamp, then.  No need to waste electricity.”

 

“Waste electricity?”  Hardison’s face twisted into his  _ the hell are you talking ‘bout _ expression.  Eliot hit the light switch, casting all of them in a blur of semi-darkness.  Since Eliot hadn’t moved the actually turn on the lamp by him, Hardison turned on the one by the bed, instead.  “What-”

 

“I think…” Parker looked at Eliot and bit her lip, amusement and concern going through her at the same time.  “I think he’s  _ shy.” _

 

“Shy?” Hardison asked incredulously, the same time Eliot growled-

 

“I ain’t shy!”

 

“Self conscious about his body maybe?  When was the last time you saw him even just without his shirt?”

 

Hardison looked from Parker to Eliot with his jaw half open in shock.  Eliot?  _ Shy? _  But then, he actually  _ couldn’t _ remember a time he’d seen Eliot undressed, even in passing.  “Really?!” 

 

“I ain’t self-conscious, either!  I just prefer a little less light.”

 

“Somehow I doubt it’s to set the mood.  And I  _ know _ it ain’t to save no damn electricity.”

 

“Shut up, Hardison.  It’s- distracting, alright?  You don’t need to be seein’ all this.  Not while we’re tryin’ to-” He stopped with a bitten off curse, half tempted to storm out of the room.  Instead, he stripped off his shirt and then kicked away his jeans, muttering angrily the whole time. “There, you happy now?”

 

They both stared.

 

They’d seen him in various states of undress immediately after he’d been shot, but it had always been a single part of him at a time.  And Parker had seen him shirtless not that long ago, but the dim light of the kitchen had put him in shadow. Now, like this, with the shadeless lamp in front and a backdrop of moonless night behind him, they could really  _ see _ him.

 

He was powerfully built, thick slabs of carefully honed muscle stretched across a well formed frame, dark hairs in a patch on his chest tapering down to a thin trail that disappeared beneath his shorts, skin a natural shade of golden only a hint darker across his forearms from the sun.  Those things on their own would have made him breathtaking. But they weren’t the first thing noticeable about him. No, what was impossible to miss were the scars strewn across his body like stars in the night sky. There were ones that were old and faded, and others obviously new. A few that looked like bullet wounds, some that must have been burns, some that might have been knife cuts, and some that there was no identifying at all.  

 

It was startling, almost off-putting, to see just how much abuse his body had taken.

 

“Are ya done, or should I just go?”

 

“Eliot-”

 

“I told you.  I said it would-”

 

“Come here,” Parker cut in.  Her eyes were still roving over Eliot’s body, her face inscrutable.

 

“Parker.”

 

“Come here,” she repeated, finally meeting his gaze.  “Now.”

 

Reluctantly, Eliot crossed to the bed.  As soon as he was within reach, she started running her hands over him.  Then she tugged him down onto the bed and touched the places she couldn’t reach before.  Tracing his skin from scar to scar like he was a road map. “What’re you-” He stopped when Hardison started doing it too.  A second set of fingertips skating across his skin with rapt curiosity. He would have protested. Should have. But then one set of fingers was replaced by lips, and his breath hitched.

 

“If this is foreplay,” he finally managed to say, “it's really frickin weird.”

 

“If that was dirty talk,” Parker replied between kisses, “you suck at it.”

 

Hardison snorted out a laugh.  Eliot growled. He might have intended it to be menacing, but if he did, then the effort was wasted.  The low rumble from his chest only turned his partners on more. Parker swirled her tongue over a particularly nasty scar on Eliot’s inner thigh, and he’d had enough.

 

“Alright, get up here, both of you,” he demanded.  He wasn’t used to being so off kilter in bed. Usually he took full control of sexual situations.  It was one of the reasons he’d never had to argue the point about the light before. He knew how to coax a partner along, urge them the way he wanted them to go, and sometimes even just pick them up and  _ put _ them right where he wanted them.  But then, he’d never been with anyone quite as smart or stubborn as Hardison and Parker, and certainly not at the same time.

 

He didn’t like feeling out of control.  Control was what kept the people around him safe.

 

When Hardison and Parker had shifted up the bed and were laying side by side on their backs, he took a moment to collect his scattered thoughts.  Yes, they made him feel vulnerable, seeing all of him with eyes too knowing and caring by half, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. He  _ could _ be vulnerable with them, and they with him.

 

He wasn’t quite used to the sensation, but maybe that would come with time.  In the meanwhile, there was plenty he could do to get himself back together. He slid up Parker’s body, dropping kisses in sweet little revenge for every one she’d given him.

 

“What’re your thoughts about oral sex, sweetheart?”

 

Parker’s eyes glittered as she grinned.  “Love. A+. All kinds.”

 

“That so?”  He pressed a kiss to the side of her neck and smiled against her skin when she squirmed.  “Then how’d you feel about you an’ me showin’ Hardison what the other side of heaven looks like?”

 

Hardison tensed beside them as Parker nodded eagerly, and Eliot could practically feel his heart rate double.  “You got any objection to that?” Eliot asked, already reading the answer in the pupils of his eyes and the way his tongue whetted his lips.

 

“Me?  No- no nope.  Ya’ll do your thing.  I’ll just, uh, I’m just gonna lay here and let’cha do whatever you want.”

 

“Scoot up and lean back against the headboard,” Eliot instructed.  Hardison scrambled to comply. Parker and Eliot shared a smile, then settled themselves between his long, splayed legs.  Eliot grabbed the base of Hardison’s already hard cock to hold it steady while Parker licked up the length of him and then swirled her tongue around his tip.  As soon as she pulled off, Eliot took her place, engulfing Hardison in wet heat. He sucked in long, steady pulls, and Hardison’s head fell back with a moan of pleasure.  There was no way in hell anyone could be so good at this unless he-

 

Hardison’s head snapped back up and he pulled Eliot’s mouth off of him.  “Hey,” he whispered hoarsely, “you sure you’re okay with doing this?” Parker already knew the answer and took her turn on Hardison’s cock, making him have to grit his teeth to keep from moaning again.  Eliot pressed the side of his face against Hardison’s raised hand, not quite a nuzzle, but affectionate all the same.

 

“Yeah, I’m good,” he assured.  “Just enjoy this.”

 

“Oh, the enjoying part’s gonna happen no matter what, don’t you worry.  I just wan to-” he broke off when Parker rubbed the flat of her tongue against his frenulum, “make sure-” she repeated the move, making him jerk against her lips.  Eliot shushed him.

 

“I know.  Now shut up and let  _ me _ enjoy this.”  He dropped his head back down into the space Parker obligingly left for him, tasting Parker on Hardison’s skin and a tang of salt from his arousal.

 

“Yes, s _ -ir!” _ Hardison’s voice broke as Eliot flicked the tip of his tongue along the slit.  Parker giggled.

 

“I think he liked that.”

 

“I think you’re right.  Wanna try it together?”

 

“Together?” Hardison echoed faintly.  Then his eyes rolled back in his head when a moment later they  _ did. _

 

Eliot slipped his hand down as they continued sucking and licking him, stopping at the short stretch of skin between Hardison’s cock and ass.  He waited until Parker had pulled off for breath, then pressed against the spot with his thumb.

 

_ “Shit!” _  Hardison jerked hard, precome welling up at the tip of his cock and slipping down.  Elliot caught the drops on his tongue.

 

“Show me how to do that,” Parker asked eagerly.  Eliot obliged, placing her hand in just the right spot and applying the perfect amount of pressure.  Hardison jerked again and his legs started to tremble.

 

“Don’t let him come yet, darlin’.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Because I don’t want him to come until you do, and I’d like for you to do that on my cock.  If that sounds like somethin’ you want too?”

 

Parker was already lifting her hips eagerly.  “That’s  _ exactly _ what I want,” she breathed.

 

“Ya’ll are gonna kill me,” Hardison said faintly.  Eliot chuckled. He could tell that Parker would hate edging.  She’d probably love taking one orgasm after another, but  _ waiting _ for one?  Not her style at all.  Hardison, though… Hardison could enjoy the ride.  Eliot had no doubt he would love every moment of this one.

 

Eliot’s palm slid between Parker’s legs and found her slick and ready.  Apparently she hadn’t been even remotely bluffing about loving oral sex in any variation.  That was pretty damn hot on its own, not to mention the way she pushed back against his touch unselfconsciously.  She was as straightforward and honest with what she wanted in bed as she was all the rest of the time.

 

Eliot could already imagine the way she would feel squeezing around him.  He blanketed her body with his own and pressed kisses up her spine. One ambitious roll of her hips put the tip of his cock in perfect position to drive into her, but he still held back.  It wasn’t until he got his hand under her hips and stroked her clit that he let himself start to slide inside.

 

She moaned on Hardison’s cock, and Hardison bit back a cry of pleasure at the sensation of it.  If that wasn’t enough to make a man feel powerful, then nothing in the world was.

 

Already more aroused than advisable this early on in the game, Eliot took his time pushing forward, enjoying each successive inch of his cock being gripped by Parker’s grasping, slick heat.  It was something straight out of his fantasies. Being inside her, stretching her around his length while he watched her swallow Hardison down. It felt… almost reverent, to be part of them like this.  To be allowed to have them, at their most intimate and most unguarded.

 

Each slow drive of his hips brought all of them closer to orgasm, steady and careful despite how much he wanted to just let go, to  _ lose _ himself in them.  But this wasn’t a quick fuck behind a bar, or a rough tangle in an anonymous hotel bed.  He was  _ home, _ with the two people he loved more than any other, being allowed to have them in a way no one else could.

 

He sped up the strokes of his fingers but kept his thrusts steady.  Parker was starting to breathe faster, using her hand to keep Hardison on edge when she needed to pull off and gasp for air.  Hardison had descended beyond all coherency. His biceps strained as he clutched the headboard tightly and thrashed against the pleasure.

 

Parker began a deep, rhythmic clenching around Eliot’s cock that told him she was close.  Knowing that despite how nice the idea of it was, simultaneous orgasms weren’t always ideal, Eliot gentled his touch on Parker just a little and leaned down over her.

 

“Now,” he said to both of them.  Parker sucked Hardison’s cock with renewed vigor while Eliot picked a spot high on his inner thigh and set about leaving his mark there.  Hardison came with a shout, held to the bed only by the weight of Parker and Eliot both. Then as Parker softened her mouth around him, Eliot picked up his pace again, coaxing her into her own orgasm.  She pressed her face against Hardison’s abdomen to stifle her scream, bucking wildly.

 

In another moment she yanked Eliot’s hand away from her clit, overwhelmed by the sensation, but begged for him to fuck her harder.  Eliot rode her through a long, intense orgasm, holding her hips tight as he gave into her pleas to take her harder and harder. By the time she stopped clenching vice tight around him, Eliot was slamming into her and could not hold back his own release a single second longer.  One more deep thrust and he was there, spilling hotly inside of her, urged along by the little tremors of pleasure still jolting through her body.

 

“Fuck,” he breathed harshly, barely able to keep himself from collapsing atop her.  He shifted slightly, dropping instead beside her, with his head resting against Hardison’s thigh.

 

“What he said,” Hardison agreed.  Parker laughed a little, still breathless.

 

“Remind me again why we haven’t been doing that from the beginning?” she asked.

 

“Because Eliot’s too noble for his own good.”

 

“Yeah yeah,” Eliot grumbled.  He looked down at Parker’s hips.  There were still red marks there from his fingers, and he was pretty damn sure they would bruise.  Regret snapped at him. “You alright, sweetheart?”

 

Parker snuggled against Hardison’s stomach to get more comfortable and then traced her fingers along the furl of Eliot’s lower lip.  “I’m  _ fine,” _ she insisted softly.  “No guilt trips in bed.  That’s a rule.”

 

“I just need to make sure.”

 

“Then consider yourself assured.  That was  _ good. _  That was… better than  _ skydiving _ .”

 

“Woah,” Hardison said, shocked.  “That good?”

 

“That good,” she nodded.  “Wasn’t it for you?”

 

“Oh hell yes.  That ranks in the top five best orgasms of all time.”

 

“You rank your orgasms?” Eliot asked incredulously.

 

“Don’t you?”

 

“No.”

 

“Well then how do you know which ones are the best?”

 

“I don’t need to think about past ones to know how good the current one is.”  He smiled a little. “Trust me.”

 

“We do,” Parker whispered.

 

“Ain’t that a tidy bit of truth.”

 

Eliot scowled.  “Don’t quote your damn sci-fi shows in bed, Hardison.”  The grin that spread across Hardison’s face was priceless.

 

“The fact that you  _ knew _ that was from a sci-fi show tells me that my work here is done.”

 

Eliot groaned and chucked a pillow up at Hardison’s head. 


	4. Chapter 4

By some unspoken, unanimous decision, they all moved into the master bedroom.  Eliot still didn’t allow himself to really sleep with them, but he stayed in bed after sex and sometimes slipped back in before they woke up in the morning.  He’d actually been experimenting to see if he could do his meditation while they slept against him, but they were more of a distraction than he wanted to admit.  Still, he had all the time in the world to find a way to make it work.

 

That was a strange thought, too.  That he  _ had _ time.  That they were together, in every sense of the word, and there wasn’t an expiration date on that.  They would be there, be a part of him, even if they went back to the apartment, even if they needed to be apart for a while.  Whatever other issues that came up, there wasn’t any rush to solve them. They could take their time.

 

He felt that same principle applied to sex as well, but Parker didn’t seem to share the sentiment.  Everything was  _ now or sooner _ with her, so he shouldn’t have been surprised that the same mentality held over into her sex life.  She always wanted to try something new, and now that there were three of them, the possibilities seemed endless.

 

After their first night in the master bedroom, she wanted Eliot to take her while Hardison watched.  Eliot continuously looked for any sign that Hardison was uncomfortable or unhappy with the situation as they progressed through foreplay, but there was none.  He stayed aroused and interested the whole time, stroking himself slowly while they kissed and caressed. Then, Eliot’s focus had finally shifted to the woman below him.

 

“Hi there,” she greeted, not upset with him for having had his attention divided, but glad that it was finally all on her.

 

“Hey there, darlin.’”  He rested his forehead against hers and let himself enjoy the feel of her body beneath his own.  “What’d’you want from me tonight?”

 

“What are you offering?” she asked, softly raking her nails up his back and then down again.

 

“I’d give you anythin’ you asked for, sweetheart.”

 

“And if I said all I wanted was you?”

 

“I’d say I’m already yours.”

 

“Then that’s all I need.”

 

They’d been slow and steady, deep kisses and gentle touches until Parker came around him and Eliot followed her down, his groan of pleasure echoed by Hardison’s beside them.

 

The next night, Parker had wanted Eliot and Hardison to have sex while she watched, to  _ complete the trifecta, _ as she called it.  She had propped herself against the headboard with eager giddiness, waiting for the show, but Hardison had been more hesitant.  He wanted Eliot, yes, but he had no idea how it was going to go.

 

Eliot had solved all of that, though.  The idea of rushing Hardison into penetrative sex before he was ready sickened him.  Instead, he lubed both their cocks and stroked them together in a single fist. It wasn’t an easy task, as they were both decently sized and shared a similar curve, but then Hardison’s hand took over, and his long fingers curled around them perfectly.  Eliot was still using one hand to hold himself above Hardison so there was room for them to stroke, but he hitched Hardison’s leg around his waist and slipped his other hand, still slick with lube, down low.

 

He kept an insistent pressure against Hardison’s perineum until they were teetering on the edge of orgasm.  Right when Hardison came, Eliot finally pressed a finger inside of him and crooked it at his prostate. Hardison’s second pulse of come shot up past his shoulder and he cursed loudly enough that it would have disturbed the neighbors, if there had been any.  Eliot continued the internal stroke until Hardison squirmed from overstimulation, then let himself drop onto Hardison’s chest, exhausted from his own orgasm.

 

Hardison decided right then that Eliot had magic fingers that were welcome inside of him any time the opportunity arose.

 

And arise it did.  Parker masterminded increasingly erotic scenarios that allowed Eliot to progress from that one finger up to three of them, until Hardison wasn’t just wondering when Eliot was going to fuck him, he was begging him to  _ get the hell on with it. _

 

Finally one night, Hardison was fucking Parker while Eliot worked those magic fingers over his prostate and fucked Hardison’s thighs, and a particularly hard thrust of Hardison’s hips dislodged Eliot’s cock.  It slipped up, then came to rest right along the crease of Hardison’s ass. Eliot went to reposition himself, but Hardison looked back over his shoulder at him.

 

“C’mon,” he invited, no doubt at all in his eyes.  “Give it to me.”

 

Eliot’s internal debate was swift and solid.  Hardison was ready. More than. With a nod of acknowledgment, he withdrew his fingers, replaced them with the head of his cock, and started to push.  Hardison had gone still beneath him. Parker’s hands stroked down his sides, touch gentle and soothing. Eliot was incredibly cautious, letting Hardison adjust to every single centimeter before he slid another one in.

 

Parker’s gripping heat around him kept Hardison’s cock hard even though Eliot’s angle didn’t allow for direct stimulation of his prostate, but Hardison thought he probably would have stayed up anyways.  There was a slight burn with the stretch, yes, but there was so much more than that. There was the heat of Eliot’s length working into him, the fullness he’d never experienced before, the strangely powerful knowledge that each time he felt Eliot’s cock twitch inside of him, it was  _ Hardison _ giving him that pleasure.  He  _ liked _ Eliot having him, and having Eliot right back in his own way.

 

When Eliot was finally inside, flush against Hardison’s ass, he still waited, letting everyone acclimate to the new sensation.   It was a kind of sweet torture, to be gripped so perfectly and deny himself friction, but Eliot endured it, until-

 

Hardison shifted his hips, pushing himself deeper into Parker and then back onto Eliot’s cock.  He did it again, and picked up a rhythm for it. Eliot kept himself still, letting Hardison set the pace, until his thrusts began to falter with his impending orgasm.  Then, Eliot thrust for both of them, each drive of his cock sending Hardison in to Parker. They were all sweat slicked and desperate, hanging there on the edge of release, and then Eliot flung them all into oblivion with a growled command and a slam of his hips. 

 

“Air,” Parker called a moment later, prompting the boys to roll off of her with quick apologies.  She just waved them away and called dibs on middle the next time around.

 

Of course, Parker got her wish.  And after she came with Eliot driving up into her from below and Hardison fucking her from behind, she decided that there really was no better way to come.

 

***

 

In some ways, it was strange just how little being in a real relationship changed things.  They still bickered, both on and off the job, still did the things they’d done before, like cooking at the pub (Eliot) running a weekly MMRPG group (Hardison) or going to museums to play ‘beat the security system’ just for fun (Parker).  There was a little more crossover between those things now - Eliot going to art shows with Parker and listening to how she would steal each piece, Hardison trying to learn how to cook more from Eliot - but otherwise they still maintained their separate pursuits.

 

The people around them didn’t seem to notice much difference with their group dynamic, either.  Maybe because they’d been fairly tactile with one another before getting together, or maybe because none of them was particularly demonstrative in public.  But none of the pub staff raised any brows about their behavior or questioned why the three of them always went off together now instead of Eliot going home alone.

 

The first people who really  _ did _ notice, and it came as no surprise, were Nate and Sophie.

 

The trio went out to Florence where the yacht was harbored.  Nate and Sophie had run into an unbeatable corrupt politician and hadn’t been able to resist helping out the oppressed locals.  They’d called in Parker, Hardison, and Eliot for backup when they realized just how connected the politician was. Just one job, Nate promised.  They were thoroughly enjoying retired life and didn’t plan to do any more than this one job, he claimed. But Eliot knew better. They weren’t back in the game full time, no, but he could already see that a few times a year they were going to get this call again and go off to help the not-so-retired mastermind and grifter.  He wasn’t going to complain about that at all.

 

At first, neither of them had noticed anything unusual.  The trio shared a room at the hotel, but since Eliot slept so little, that wasn’t totally inappropriate.  Parker smacked Eliot’s ass when he was going out to head off the mark’s security team, but they just assumed it was Parker being Parker.  When Hardison started complaining on the coms about having accidentally put on the wrong boxers that morning, and Eliot had snapped back at him that if he’d used his own damn suitcase for his clothes it wouldn’t have happened, they raised a brow, but still didn’t make any assumptions.

 

“Don’t know how you can wear this junk anyhow,” Hardison grumbled.  “Too damn restrictive.”

 

“Yeah, well that silk crap you wear ain’t made for runnin’ in.”

 

Hardison started extolling the virtues of silk made undergarments, and Sophie asked, “Eliot, how do you know Hardison wears silk boxers?”

 

Eliot just snorted.  “Are you tellin’ me you think he wears anything  _ else?” _

 

Sophie conceded the point.

  
  


Really, there might not have been any obvious sign at all if the job had gone exactly as planned.  But just before the last pieces fell into place, the mark’s young son showed up. His mother was estranged and the kid wasn’t in the picture at all, so they hadn’t counting on there being any chance of him caught in the crossfire.

 

There were a lot of things Eliot had patience for.  Kids in danger wasn’t one of them. He’d gone in and gotten the boy out, no questions asked.  When the politician had been carted off to jail, he handed the boy off to his mother, ignoring the two stab wounds he’d gotten while keeping him safe.

 

A moment later, Parker came barrelling around the corner and launched herself right into Eliot’s arms.

 

“Don’t scare me like that, you massive  _ jerk! _  I thought you were-” she cut herself off by kissing him, hard and deep.  Now  _ that _ was enough to make Nate and Sophie look twice.  Parker was off again almost as quickly as she’d come, going after the mother to make sure she found the money the politician had left behind.

 

“That… was not what I expected,” Nate said.

 

“Tell me about it,” Sophie agreed.  “But who could’ve- I mean- what about Hardison?”

 

“Well that part I had actually considered.”

 

“What?  What did you think was going on?”

 

Hardison caught sight of them and jogged over, looking around still.  Then he saw Eliot and his jaw clenched visibly. He strode over so determinedly that it almost looked like he was going to try and punch the man.  Instead, he thrust his fingers into Eliot’s hair and hauled him in for a bruising kiss.

 

“ _ That _ was what I’d actually expected.”

 

Sophie gasped and stared at them.  Hardison pulled back far enough to rest his forehead against Eliot’s.

 

“Don’t  _ do _ that to me, man.”

 

Eliot waved him off gruffly.  “I’m fine. Just a few little stab wounds.  Wasn’t like I was just gonna leave the kid there.”

 

_ “Little stab wounds? _  You crazy son of a-” he smacked Eliot upside the head lightly.  “You’re lucky I love you, you know that? Sit your ass down and I’ll go get the med kit.” 

 

Eliot obligingly sat, shaking his head at Hardison’s mother henning.  Nate and Sophie attempted to look casual as they walked over, but he could practically feel their questions.  Still, he didn’t offer any explanations. No reason not to make them work for it.

 

“So,” Sophie began, ever eager for information, “they seem… relieved.”

 

“‘Spect so.”

 

“And you were quite… tolerant.  Of their… affection.”

 

Eliot shrugged, not showing a hint of the smile he was feeling.  “Keeps them happy.”

 

“Oh for god’s sake,” Sophie muttered.  “Don’t you think-”

 

“Come off it, Eliot,” Nate cut in.  “You know exactly what she’s getting at.  So since I know you wouldn’t play Parker and Hardison at the same time, why don’t you tell us what’s going on?”

 

“I ain’t  _ playin’ _ anything,” Eliot growled, offended at the suggestion even while he was a little relieved that Nate knew he wouldn’t go behind their backs with each other.

 

“Right, sure.  Sleeping with, “hanging out”, whatever it’s being called these days.  I always knew there might be something between you and Hardison, but Parker too?”

 

“When did they split up?” Sophie demanded, obviously distraught at the idea.

 

“Wait, you thought me an’  _ Hardison _ would hook up?  Since when?” Eliot growled when Nate shrugged innocently, then turned to Sophie.  “And they ain’t split up.” He turned back to Nate, still angry. “And it’s more than just sex!”

 

“Hey, what the hell’s going on over here?  Can’t ya’ll see the man has been stabbed? Back off!”  Hardison came back with the med kit and slapped Eliot’s hands away when he reached for it.  “Keep your damn hands to yourself Mr-I’m-gonna-rush-into-danger-and-give-my-partners-a-coronary.  I’ll do the stitching.”

 

“No offense,” Parker said, dropping from the rafters she’d been running along on her way back, “but your stitches suck Hardison.  I’ll do it.”

 

“That hurts, woman.”  Hardison put a hand to his heart.  Parker laughed and kissed him, then took the antiseptic from him.  Placated, Hardison got out of her way.

 

“Uh, guys?”  They turned to Nate as one.  “Care to fill in some details?”

 

“Details?  What details?” Parker asked innocently.

 

“About what’s going on with-” Sophie gestured between the three of them.

 

“Oh, did we forget to tell them?” Parker looked back to Hardison and Eliot, who shrugged.

 

“We didn’t  _ forget, _ necessarily.”

 

“We just didn’t specifically mention it yet.”

 

“Huh,” Parker cocked her head.  “I’m surprised you didn’t figure it out on your own, Nate.  Must be slipping.”

 

Nate choked and Sophie stifled a laugh.

 

“Stop torturin’ the man, darlin’,” Eliot said with a smirk.

 

She huffed.  “ _ Fine. _  We’re together.”

 

“As in-”

 

“As in pancakes and sex and candles and hair braiding and sneaking into movie theaters and-”

 

“Alright, alright, they get the picture.”

 

“So,  _ together _ together,” Nate concluded.

 

“Yeah.”  Hardison smiled at both of them, affectionate and content.  “Except the hair braiding. That’s just the two of them.”

 

“Shut up, Hardison,” Eliot growled.

 

“What?  I ain’t the one with flowing locks.  Do you see enough hair here to braid?” He pointed at his head.  “I don’t think so.”

 

“But you like when he’s got braids in his hair.  And you said that watching him braid my hair makes you ho-”

 

“Okay!  Point taken.  Let’s just leave it at that.” Hardison pretended to look for something in his bag to hide his embarrassment.

 

Sophie looked between the three of them, then over at Nate.

 

“Well, it certainly wasn’t what I was expecting,” he said again.

 

“But it works,” she added.  He nodded in agreement.

 

“We’re so glad you approve,” Eliot said sarcastically.  Nate held his hands up as if in surrender.

 

“We know you don’t need it.  That doesn’t mean we can’t be glad for you.”

 

“And we are,” Sophie interjected.  “You all… fit.”

 

“ _ Yeah _ we do,” Hardison smirked.  Eliot smacked his arm.

 

“Get your mind outta the gutter.”

 

“What?” Hardison said with mock innocence.  “She said it.”

 

“I don’t get it,” Parker chimed in, finishing up the stitching.

 

“Good,” Eliot replied.  “Let’s just get everything together and get the hell outta here.”  He was already starting to stand, barely giving Parker time to finish putting a bandage over the fresh stitches.

 

“You don’t mean all the way, do you?” Sophie asked, clearly disappointed.  “Surely you’ve got time to stay for dinner, at least.”

 

“That depends, is it gonna be just dinner, or is it gonna be the spanish inquisition about our relationship?” Eliot crossed his arms and looked meaningfully at Sophie.

 

“Well maybe just a  _ few-” _

 

“I don’t mind talking about it!” Parker said happily.  “I can tell you  _ all _ about- for example, did you know how many sexual positions there are when you’ve got three people in bed?  There’s-”

 

“Nevermind!” Sophie interrupted, blushing to the roots of her hair.  “Just dinner. No questions!”

 

Parker let out a long-suffering sigh as if she was disappointed, then looked back at the boys and winked.

 

“Dinner it is, then.”

 

***

 

Parker was tied down to the bed two weeks after they got back from Florence, Eliot’s head between her legs as she screamed her way through her fifth orgasm of the night.  Beside them, Hardison was stretched out, still panting from having given her the first two.

 

The screams tapered off into whimpers and she tugged at the restraints.  Eliot let her do it once, twice, then shifted up and stilled her arms.

 

“Not too hard, darlin’.  Those’ll leave marks.” They usually used softer cuffs that were padded, but those were still at the cleaners after a particularly adventurous night with wax and red wine.

 

“Don’t care,” Parker mumbled.  “I want to see them.”

 

Eliot checked the skin beneath the ropes and figured how much strength she had left in her arms, then kissed her.  “Alright then. Pull all you want through this last one, then they come off.”

 

“Another?”  She looked equal parts aroused and aghast.  “I don’t think I can…”

 

“Yes, you can.”

 

“Eliot-”

 

“You  _ can. _  And you’re gonna do it with me inside you.  I wanna feel you squeeze that pretty little cunt of yours around my cock.  Scream for me one more time, sweetheart.”

 

Parker gave up any semblance of protest or control.  It wasn’t often that Eliot was worked up enough to really talk dirty to her, but when he was, she knew he could play her body like a finely tuned instrument.  All she needed to do was lay back and let him.

 

She was already so worked up that it only took a single thrust for Eliot to bury himself in her to the hilt.  She was incredibly sensitive still. He knew all it would take for her to come again would be the pressure of his pelvis against her clit and the internal stimulation.  As if to prove it to himself, he thrust deep and watched her arch off the bed.

 

“Sure you don’t want any more?” Eliot asked Hardison, who was admiring the way Parker’s breasts bounced with each thrust.  “She’s gonna be  _ done _ after this.”

 

Hardison chuckled.  “I’m tapped out, man.  This one’s all you.”

 

“Shut up and-” Parker gasped, “let him-” she moaned and arched up against the restraints again, “ _ focus!” _  Hardison mimed zipping his lips and let Eliot go to work.   He changed his angle and braced above her, driving in hard and fast.  As quick as his own orgasm was building, he was racing to get to it before she got to hers, because once she came again he didn’t want to push her any further than that.  She started to clamp down around him and thankfully he felt his own release burgeon. He finished while she did, screaming and tugging at the ropes.

 

As soon as her body went lax, Eliot reached up to undo the restraints, checking her ankles and wrists carefully.  She was going to have some rope burn, but none of the skin was broken. He kissed each mark, then let himself stretch out on the bed beside her.

 

Parker grabbed Hardison’s hand and tugged him over her side like a blanket, then snuggled them both against Eliot’s chest.  “Thank you,” she murmured, sated and exhausted. Both men chuckled a little and said she was  _ very _ welcome.  “Someday,” she said to Eliot softly, “I want you to have me without holding back.”

 

Eliot stilled.  “I ain’t holdin’-”

 

“Yes you are.  And that’s okay.  But someday. Just think about it.”  And a moment later, she was huffing out soft little breaths that indicated she was already asleep.  Eliot stared up at the ceiling, half ready to flee the room. He needed to go somewhere, meditate or work off the emotion suddenly surging through him, destroy another punching bag or-

 

“Stop,” Hardison said quietly.  Eliot turned to him, tamping down the defensive snarl that had sprung up.  “I can  _ see _ you thinking all kinds of toxic shit.  Don’t do that.”

 

“It ain’t toxic.  It’s  _ rational. _  She don’t know what she’s askin’ for.”

 

“Dude, it’s  _ Parker. _  Of course she knows.  She might be wild, but she’s not stupid.  If she’s asking for more, it’s because she can take it.”

 

“Do you  _ want _ her to get hurt?” Eliot demanded angrily.  Parker stirred a little, and Eliot took a deep breath to try and calm down.

 

“No, I don’t,” Hardison whispered.  “Not any more than she wants to be. Listen, you gotta understand-” he stopped, tugging on his ear a little, and quietly cleared his throat.  “There’s stuff… stuff she’s interested in, that I can’t give her. When we first started -  _ you know, _ she talked about wanting me to… to try some rougher stuff.”

 

“We  _ do _ rough stuff.  Hell, she’s got goddamn rope burns!”

 

“More than that.  Like, breath play, and biting, and hitting-”

 

“Hitting?”

 

“Not like, actual  _ hitting, _ but more than light spanking.  And tossing her around a little.  It freaked me out. I thought at first that it was some kind of self harm or something, or that she thought she was supposed to expect unpleasant things with sex or something…  _ wrong. _  I thought it was wrong, and I didn’t express that in the best way, and she didn’t bring it up again.  It wasn’t until after I really  _ knew _ her like this that I realized there wasn’t anything wrong with what she wanted.  It was just something she liked, and there’s no shame in that. It was  _ me _ that was the problem.”

 

“There’s nothin’ wrong with not liking rough stuff, Hardison.”

 

“No, but there  _ is _ something wrong with making your partner feel like their preferences are something to be ashamed of.”

 

“Does she?”

 

“I- I’m not sure.  She never brought it up again.  I tried, a few times, to do some of that stuff, but its just… not my thing.  I’m not spooked by it any more, and it doesn’t bother me to see, but I don’t do it myself.  She’s got her likes and I’ve got mine, and in this one piece, they don’t match. But you’re not like me, Eliot.”

 

“I don’t want to hurt her,” Eliot said roughly, almost as much to himself as to Hardison.

 

“No, you don’t.  But I’ve seen the way you look at her when you smack her ass or bite her neck.  You understand how a bit of pain can make her feel good. You like letting her walk that line, and you’re good enough to do it right.”

 

“Then I’ll kick it up a little.  I’ll go a little further. But I can’t-”

 

“That’s not just it,” Hardison interrupted.  “It’s not  _ just _ about her.  It’s you, too.”

 

“What are you talkin’ about?”

 

“Eliot, you get… itchy.  It’s like, there are times when we go a while between jobs, or we do ones that don’t need anything physical, and you just start to get stir crazy.  There’s this build up inside of you that needs vented. And sometimes there’s some bad guy who shows up just in time for you to get it out, but if there’s not, you go into this spiral and you take all that aggression out on yourself.”

 

“Are you suggestin’ I beat up Parker, instead?” Eliot demanded angrily.

 

“No!  I’m just… look, I’m just saying that when whatever goes on with that starts to build up, you’ve got healthier outlets for it.  If she wants it, and it helps you, then where’s the down side?”

 

“The down side is if I go too far, and she gets-”

 

“You gotta trust her to tell you if it starts to get to that point, and yourself enough to know that you’d stop if it ever did.  We’ve talked about trusting yourself before. What’s it going to take for you to really be able to do it?”

 

There was a long stretch of silence, then Eliot said, “there are certain things a man can’t forgive himself for.  And you can never really trust yourself again when you’ve done them.”

 

“Fine.  If that’s what this really comes down to, then don’t trust yourself.  Trust  _ us. _  Let  _ us _ forgive you.  And let that be enough.”

 

“You can’t forgive what you can’t understand.”

 

“I’m pretty fuckin’ smart, Eliot.  Try me.” There was another silence, and Hardison went on when he realized that Eliot wasn’t going to break it.  “You asked Parker, back when we took down Moreau, not to ask you about the worst thing you ever did. And she respected that.  We both did. We still will, if that’s what you really want. But you need to stop thinking you’re protecting us from your sins.  We  _ love _ you, all of you, unconditionally.  Instead of thinking about all that could go wrong if you opened up to us, think of all that could go  _ right. _  Let us accept you, exactly as you are, the way you do for us.”  Eliot’s silence grew thick, nearly oppressive. Hardison sighed.  “It’s a suggestion, El, not a demand. We’re gonna be here either way.  Just… think about it.” 

 

Hardison closed his eyes and tried not to let it sting when Eliot slipped out of bed a few moments later.

 

***

 

Eliot spent a lot of time to himself the next few days.  He wanted to be around Hardison and Parker, wanted to not just have the comfort of having them close but also get their advice.  The problem was, he couldn’t really get advice about them  _ from _ them.

 

He knew what they wanted.  At least, what they thought they wanted.  Him to lay himself totally bare with them, be open about everything.  Tell them the worst things in his past and let them forgive him for them.

 

It was easier said than done.

 

What would happen when they realized just what kind of man he was?  It would be bad enough if they decided they couldn’t have a murderer in their bed, but it would be even worse if they didn’t let themselves throw him out and spent the rest of their lives looking at him with horror and mistrust. 

 

Even if he wanted to take either of those chances, there was still a part of him that felt like he needed to protect them from the knowledge.  The hacker and thief weren’t innocent by most standards, but they’d never faced  _ slaughter, _ especially not from someone they loved.  They didn’t hurt people. And while they said they understood that he had before, that wasn’t the same as having actual knowledge of his worst actions.  It was a burden he didn’t want to lay on them.

 

But was that really his choice to make?  They weren’t just his team any more. They weren’t the naive young girl and too-cocky geek.  They were his  _ partners. _  He trusted them with his life.  He trusted them with  _ each other’s _ lives.  Wasn’t it about time he trusted that they knew what they wanted?

 

And if he couldn’t… wouldn’t the right thing to do be get the hell out of their bed?

 

Neither option seemed feasible, and he started to feel trapped by the lack of choices.  To make matters worse, the more distant he grew, the more understanding they were. They watched him walk away with sadness in their eyes and forced smiles on their lips, assuring him that they would be right there waiting when he came back.  Their resigned acceptance was almost more than he could bear.

 

***

 

The next job that they did with a kid involved, Eliot decided to break down one little barrier.

 

They knew that he had strong feelings about kids in danger, but they’d never asked him why.  He didn’t talk much about his childhood, about his parents, and they probably suspected he’d been abused as a kid.  He’d never wish his childhood on anyone, but his daddy hadn’t left any bruises on him. It would have been easier if the punches  _ had _ been aimed at him.  If the one doing the hitting had been his own father.

 

He didn’t start talking until they’d all gathered in the living room with drinks.  They’d picked out a movie to watch, but he didn’t think they’d mind skipping it.

 

“That girl today, she reminded me of my cousin,” he said, not really looking at them.  This was a small truth to bare, in the grand scheme of things. But still, his heart was pounding.

 

Parker started to cross to his side, but then sat next to Hardison on the couch, and he was grateful for the distance.

 

“Did someone hurt her, too?”

 

“Yeah.  Yeah, they did.  We… when we were kids, we saw each other a lot.  She was four years younger than me, but so damn smart that you forgot about that.  Troublemaker, too. Not dangerous shit, but acting out. She came up with the plans and we carried them out together.

 

“Her daddy an’ my old man, I guess they came from a long line of mean drunks.  Must’ve been in their blood. But I wasn’t gettin’ knocked around, not like that, so I just assumed she wasn’t either.  We didn’t talk about it. I should’ve- I should’ve asked.” He waited a beat, catching his breath, and finally looked up.  Parker and Hardison were looking at him with twin expressions of sympathy on their faces. They knew where this was going.

 

“One time, my uncle came to visit and she didn’t come along.  When I asked about it, he said she was with her mama for the weekend.  Thing was, she’d taken off years before without any indication she wanted to see either of them again.  It didn’t make sense. But I didn’t push. Not until he left and she showed up at my window the next night with a black eye and a split lip beggin’ me to run away with her.

 

“I was… I don’t know exactly what I was.  Shocked, yeah, but furious too, that someone would’ve done that to her.  You didn’t hardly notice it because she was so full of life, but she was a small girl.  Tough as nails, but delicate in a way that you didn’t notice until you really  _ looked. _  When she said it’d been her daddy that hit her, I - I’d never been that angry in my life.  I knew what they were like, at least, I’d thought I did. But hittin’ her like that? It was over the line.   _ Way _ over the line.

 

“There was part of me that wanted to hop a bus to their town and take him down, but I was- I was only fifteen.  I wasn’t that brave yet. And I thought, really thought, that my old man would fix it. We didn’t see eye to eye on much, but I knew he loved her almost as much as I did.  I convinced her that all we needed to do was tell him, and he’d take care of the rest. That we could count on him to handle it.

 

“The next mornin’, her daddy showed up to take her home.  I’d been wrong. Lookin’ back, I don’t think he was happy about it, but his loyalty to his brother and his unwillingness to get involved in what he considered their private business trumped protectin’ her.  She… she was just gonna go back with him, because what other option did she have? And I lost it. I tried to stop them, and my uncle laid me out. Three times before my old man stepped in and told him to back off and me to stay down.  And then they went. I just watched them go.

 

“They didn’t come around much after that.  When I did see her, she was- different. Quiet.  Withdrawn. She never looked at me the same way again, and I couldn’t blame her.  I’d made a mistake, trusted the wrong person, and it had cost her years of pain. She didn’t outright blame me - that would’a been easier.  She just… faded. Eventually she stopped answerin’ when I called. And I let her slip through the cracks.”

 

“What happened to her?” Parker asked quietly.

 

“She killed herself, a while back.  My old man and I, we never got things right between us after what happened, and I joined the service three years later.  By the time I came back, she’d married someone just like her daddy. I didn’t- I waited, before tryin’ to see her again. I was so fucked up, I thought it was better to wait, to try and put all that I’d done behind me.  Then one day I looked her up and found an article instead of an address. Local woman shoots husband and herself, domestic violence suspected cause.”

 

“I’m so sorry, man.”

 

“I ain’t the one that deserves condolence.  I had twelve years I could’a acted in. I didn’t.  I let her take it as a kid and taught her to expect it as an adult until she couldn’t any more.”

 

“It wasn’t your fault, Eliot.”

 

He closed his eyes again, shaking his head.  “I wasn’t the one that hit her, no, but lettin’ it happen is just as bad.  I ain’t lookin’ for sympathy here. I don’t need it. I learned my lesson, and there ain’t no unlearnin’ it.  I’m just tellin’ you  _ why. _  Why I can’t see shit like that and not do somethin’.  It doesn’t always go that way,” he looked up at Parker, admiring her all over again for her strength, “but I know the way it  _ can  _ go.  An’ I can’t stand to see someone headed down that road if I can stop it.”

 

Parker and Hardison studied him for a long while in silence, holding hands and considering what to say.  He wouldn’t accept sympathy, and they didn’t think he’d want comfort. What else was there to offer? Solidarity?  They’d each had their own challenges growing up, but neither of them suffered that same kind of guilt.

 

Finally, Parker crossed to the chair and snuggled up in Eliot’s lap.  He looked startled at first, then his arms came around her. “I love you,” she said, as though it was the most obvious response in the world to his story.  He huffed out a little laugh, able to almost smile at that.

 

“Well it’s good to know that didn’t change.”

 

She looked confused for a minute, then scowled.  “It’s not  _ going _ to change - whatever you tell us.  All you do when you tell us stuff like this is give us  _ more _ reasons to love you.”  He started to scoff, and she put a finger to his lips.  “I love that you wanted to help your cousin. I love that you did the best thing you thought you could for her.  I love that even when your life was so tumultuous, you still thought about her. I love that instead of just being bitter about what happened to her, you use it as fuel to keep it from happening to others.  And I love that you told us about her. Not just because we want to know everything about you that you want to share, but because it lets us  _ understand _ you better.  It lets us love you better.  So we can see why you feel so strongly about violence towards kids, and we can appreciate just how much it really means that you  _ trust _ us, when you’ve been let down so badly in the past.”

 

“She’s right,” Hardison added, scooting to the edge of the couch so he could rest his hand on Eliot’s knee.  “You can’t save everyone, Eliot. That doesn’t make you a bad man. It makes you  _ human. _  And that humanity is something we love about you too.”

 

Eliot looked down at them, a little breathless with emotion.  He hadn’t been looking for sympathy, or even assurances, but he’d gotten something more than that.  Every time he’d taken a chance on Hardison and Parker, they’d come through more than he could have hoped for.  Telling them about Cassie wasn’t the same as revealing the things he’d done for Moreau, but it was still a part of him that they accepted, unquestioningly.  They deserved better than him, he knew that, but while he was what they chose, he needed to make damn sure he never took that for granted.

 

He cleared his throat a little, keeping one arm around Parker and putting the other on Hardison’s hand.  “I don’t- I ain’t good at sayin’ it, but I.. I do love you. More than I can rightly express. And I’m gonna keep showin’ you as much as I can.  Which means-” he swallowed, encouraged to go on when Hardison squeezed his hand, “it means I’m gonna get better about doin’ this stuff. About lettin’ you in.  It ain’t gonna happen overnight, but I’m promisin’ you now to  _ try.” _

 

“There’s no rush,” Parker said.  “We’re going to be here. Whenever you’re ready for more, we’ll be here.”

 

They sat for a long time in the fading light of sunset, not doing anything but feeling connected.  Eventually, Hardison stood up and held out his hand to pull them up.

 

“C’mon you two.  I don’t know about ya’ll, but I could use a little TLC.”

 

Parker climbed onto Eliot’s back for a ride to the bedroom.

 

“What, no one’s gonna claim the middle this time?” Eliot asked.  They  _ always _ bickered over who got middle.

 

“Not this time,” Parker said with a knowing smile at Hardison, then looked back at Eliot.  “It’s your turn.”

 

A strange prickle went through Eliot, something that seemed almost like the unease he usually felt at the thought of being caught between people, boxed in, but that wasn’t exactly right.  He trusted Hardison and Parker, implicitly. Being pressed between them wouldn’t be a bad thing. In fact, it might just be the only place in the world he could really feel secure.

 

“Alright,” he agreed.  “My turn.”

 

***

 

“Condom tonight, darlin’,” Eliot whispered to Parker a few weeks later.  She flinched a little, the way she always did when he said those words.  It wasn’t the first time they’d needed to use protection. In fact, Hardison had bought the testing equipment and learned how to do it himself so they wouldn’t have to wait on a lab for results.  But every time got harder. He’d been lucky so far, but it felt like they were playing Russian Roulette and every scare was another empty chamber gone.

 

What made it even harder was that the nights when the risk to him was at its highest were the nights Eliot wanted to take care of  _ them _ most.  He usually ended up bringing Parker to orgasm with cock and hands and Hardison with his mouth, or vice versa, and his own release was almost an afterthought.

 

Elito was naturally a generous lover, so Parker didn’t want to assume anything else was going on, but part of her suspected he wanted to give them everything he could before he was  _ gone. _  The thought terrified her.

 

What was worse, she didn’t know what to do about it.  There wasn’t any technology that could protect him from tainted blood anymore than there was a perfect plan that could guarantee he didn’t meet a bullet.  So what did that leave? Retiring? Going straight? Both she and Hardison had already talked years ago about the fact that they couldn’t ever imagine living like normal people.  Eliot, though… he  _ could. _  He never talked about retiring, but if the opportunity presented itself, Parker didn’t think he would object.  He could be happy cooking in the pub, tossing out drunks, taking care of the people around him. Maybe he’d even enjoy working with kids somehow, if things had really settled down.

 

For the first time, Parker thought of Eliot as a father.  It hit her like a bolt, and as soon as the image fixed in her mind, she couldn’t shake it.  Eliot, ecstatic, ridiculously proud, fiercely protective, holding his son or daughter. She couldn’t imagine anyone would love their child more than Eliot would.  And despite the danger of his past, she didn’t think that would be a concern, because heaven help the fool who tried to harm Eliot Spencer’s kid.

 

Parker hadn’t thought much about her sterilization since she’d gotten it done, except to be grateful for it on occasion, but now she wondered if she’d made the right decision.  She never thought she’d end up with anyone, and if there ever could have been someone she wanted to spend her life with, it would be someone like Hardison. Someone who wouldn’t want to slow down enough to have kids.  She never could have foreseen Eliot. He was practically a storybook character come to life, a knight always there to save the day, a man with a good heart, despite the violence that swirled around him.

 

Parker wouldn’t trust herself with a child, but she would trust Eliot with one no questions asked.

 

And it stung a little that she could never give him one.  But there was no point in regretting what was already done.  All she could do now was look forward to the future that they  _ could _ have.  Whatever it was, she knew that she needed Eliot in it.  Each time something threatened to take him him away from her, the feeling grew stronger.

 

None of them were ready to stop doing what they did, but someday, there was going to be a tipping point, and they were all going to have to make some changes.


	5. Chapter 5

Eliot kept his promise to try and be more open with him.  He was also working on a promise he’d made to himself, and that was to trust himself more around them.

 

When they were in bed, Hardison made a point to never be against Eliot’s back if he was hard.  Ever since Eliot had told him why he couldn’t be on the other end of that, Hardison had been careful not to do anything that could bring back those memories.  It was something that Eliot was incredibly grateful for - but he was tired of having barriers between them.

 

The reason he’d been so upfront with them about that issue wasn’t just that it brought back bad memories and he didn’t think he could ever really _like_ it.  It was mostly because he didn’t trust himself not to react instinctively if he was put in a similar position again.  How many times had he fantasized about what he would do to his captors if only his hands were free? If he was in bed with Parker and Hardison, and his mind went back to those dark moments, he was afraid that he would defend himself, even though there was nothing to defend _against._  And he didn’t want to take the chance of Hardison being on the receiving end of that kind of aggression.

 

But slowly, carefully, he’d been testing himself, and he had yet to fail one.  He’d let them tie his hands to the headboard once and had even enjoyed himself.  The fact that he could have either broken the headboard to get himself free or flipped them off of him and snapped their necks with his thighs was a separate issue.  The victory was that he hadn’t once felt the need to pull away or try and stop them.

 

Twice now he’d removed everything that could conceivably be a weapon from the bedroom and allowed himself to doze in bed with them.  Not enough to get into REM sleep and risk having a nightmare during which he might lash out at them, but enough to get a little rest while holding the people he loved close.

 

If he had managed to do those things with no close calls, no concerns at all, then maybe he was ready to give Hardison the chance to take a little more from him.  No, he wasn’t going to just invite the man to fuck him - and truly, he didn’t think he would ever actually _enjoy_ the sensation of that - but they could start to ease into the situation.  Eventually, he hoped, there wouldn’t have to be any caution with the way they touched each other in bed at all.

 

The first thing he did was let himself experience the sensation of Hardison against him without giving up any control.  One night, he directed Hardison on his back and had Parker kneel over his face. It put her in position to go down on him while he did the same to her.  When Eliot climbed onto the bed, they both expected him to get between Hardison’s legs and fuck him. Instead, he lifted Parker upright and _straddled_ Hardison.  He caught Parker’s soft gasp of surprise in a kiss, then rolled his hips.

 

They both heard Hardison moan from under Parker’s thighs.  His cock was still slick from Parker’s mouth, and now it was trapped between his abdomen and the grinding press of Eliot’s ass.  Parker reached out to grab Eliot’s cock, which wasn’t quite hard, and coax him to arousal. Hardison was probably still in shock and didn’t yet realize just how big of a step this was for Eliot, but Parker could _see_ it.  She could see the tension in his body, his readiness to flee if he thought there was any chance of him lashing out, could see the effort he was putting into focusing on _this_ moment and not letting memories intrude.

 

Not wanting to make him feel confined or restricted, Parker used her free hand to cup his jaw softly, feathering her fingers over his face and kissing him breathless.  Her efforts with his cock were getting results, which told her that he was relaxing. Despite how distracted she was by Hardison’s renewed vigour between her legs, she didn’t let herself squeeze him too hard or coax him along too fast.

 

“Do you want to come like this?” she asked when he was starting to jerk in her hand.  He took in a shuddering breath and looked down, considering. A moment later he shook his head.  He wasn’t quite ready for that yet. Parker automatically slowed her movements so that she didn’t accidentally push him over the edge.

 

Her own orgasm was starting to rise up, and she could tell from the way Hardison’s arms were shaking that he was getting close too.  “Hold me?” she asked. Eliot wrapped his arms around her and held tight as she shuddered through her orgasm. As soon as Hardison’s focus was off of pushing Parker over the edge, he came too, spurting across his stomach.

 

When Eliot finished wringing the last jolts of pleasure out of him and shifted off, Parker dove for Eliot’s still hard cock.  She took it all the way into her throat in a single movement. Eliot jolted, then the pleasure that he had been tamping down came rushing up and he went off like a shot.

 

Parker’s smile when she finished swallowing and pulled away was distinctly satisfied.  She stretched out on the bed and held out her hand for Eliot to join her. He fitted perfectly between Parker and Hardison.

 

“Holy crap,” Hardison breathed, wiping himself down lazily.  He tossed the tissue away and then slung an arm and a leg over Eliot, uncaring of the sweat drying on their bodies.  “That was… I mean-” he stopped suddenly, the _way_ Eliot had brought him to orgasm suddenly hitting him.  “Was that - okay for you?”

 

“Did you hear me complainin’?”

 

“No, but seriously, man…  I don’t want to-”

 

“I’m the one that did it, Hardison.  And I was- it was fine.”

 

“That doesn’t mean that-”

 

Eliot cut him off with a kiss.  “Shut up,” he ordered. “We’ll talk more about it, but it’s not a conversation I wanna have in bed.  So just get some sleep and we can deal with the rest in the mornin’.”

 

It looked for a minute like Hardison was going to argue again, but Eliot gave him a little smile of assurance and then closed his eyes pointedly.  Hardison huffed out a laugh that sounded suspiciously like the word _bossy,_ but closed his eyes as well.  Parker kissed them both on the forehead then snuggled up and was snoring softly before either of them drifted off.

 

***

 

Eliot made breakfast for the three of them a little more extravagantly than he normally would have.  It wasn’t that he felt like they needed to be softened up before he could talk to them about his issues - he just liked taking care of them.  And if he happened to be making a particularly special breakfast on a day when he planned to talk to them about the times he’d been tortured and how he was working to overcome it, well that was just coincidence.

 

Parker squealed with delight when she saw the stack of pancakes oozing blackberry cream cheese between each layer.  When he added chopped chocolate on top and a creamy gelato on the side, she looked practically orgasmic. Hardison followed behind her a few moments later still half awake, but as soon as he saw the pancakes, his eyes got almost as wide as Parker’s.  Really, the sugar content alone should have been enough to make Eliot cringe, but this was what they liked.

 

And what he liked was indulging them.

 

Besides, he excused it with the knowledge that they already ate far better in his care than they had before.  His pancakes couldn’t be as bad for them as the sugar cereal Parker would have picked, or the orange soda Hardison would have washed it down with.

 

Parker moaned, loudly, at the first bite.  “Ohmigod,” she said around a mouth full of pancake, “this is amazing.  I feel like this should be eaten _naked._ ”

 

“Not that I don’t like the way you’re thinkin’ girl, but do you _see_ how messy this stuff is?” Hardison asked, licking gelato off his hand.  Parker’s eyes followed the movement.

 

“That’s half the fun,” she purred.

 

“Only half?”

 

“The other half is cleaning the mess up.”

 

“Okay, now that’s just _hot._  I’m sold.  What’d’you say, Eliot?  I think we should put some of this cream cheese deliciousness on her-”

 

“Not- not this mornin’, guys.”  They both looked over at him, surprised.  Eliot wasn’t a sex fiend or anything, but there weren’t many times he wasn’t down for a round or two.  He rubbed the back of his neck, already uncomfortable. “I was thinkin’ we’d talk a bit.”

 

“Talk?”

 

Hardison’s face fell a little as comprehension dawned on him.  “About last night,” he clarified for Parker. “Listen man, I wasn’t tryin’ to push you into talking about stuff you don’t want to.  I want to make sure we’re respecting your boundaries, but if you’d rather we didn’t discuss-”

 

“Alec-” Eliot said the name softly, but it was enough to make Hardison stop.  It wasn’t often that either he or Parker used Hardison’s first name, but when they did, it usually meant something.  “This ain’t somethin’ I _like_ talkin’ about, and I like the idea of puttin’ this shit in you and Parker’s heads even less.  But… it’s time for it. I’m not gonna say more than you can hear, but I need to explain it to you a little better so that we can start movin’ past it.  And I _want_ to move past it.”

 

Hardison slid his hand over and laced his fingers through Eliot’s.  A moment later, Parker’s did the same on his other side. “Alright then.  We’ll talk.”

  


Half an hour later, the pancakes were gone, the dishes were done, and the three of them were sitting in the living room - which was where most of their soul-bearing discussions seemed to happen.  Eliot sat in the chair so that he had some space to himself, but he’d pushed the coffee table out of the way so that there wasn’t anything between him and Parker and Hardison sitting on the couch.

 

He sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face and then raking it through his hair.  He could do this. “So, I uh, I already told you a bit about why I can’t- why I don’t let you-”

 

“Yeah, we know,” Parker cut in, saving him from trying to find a polite way of saying _‘fuck me.’_

 

“Right.  I’ve been captured before, sometimes because I couldn’t help it, sometimes because a mark was in a place I couldn’t get to any other way.  I told you about bein’ tortured, and how a professional knows to use - that, like any other tool. And the thing is, I ain’t haunted by the pain.  I can take it. Always have. But…. there are some things you don’t ever forget. The smell of a drill bit as it goes into bone, the sound red hot iron makes on skin.   The feel of a man inside of you that don’t belong there.” He closed his eyes and didn’t allow himself the luxury of clenching his fists. “Any one of those things can take me back to a place where I was using any means necessary to survive.  It’s not somethin’ I’ve wanted or been willing to risk around either of you.”

 

“We understand that, Eliot.  Really, we do. I’ve never felt like our sex lives were missing anything because I don’t… do that.  Hell, we got more than enough variety as it is.”

 

“It ain’t about what we’re missin’.  It’s about how comfortable you can be.  You’re careful all the time, Hardison. You and Parker do this _dance_ sometimes, keepin’ you from gettin’ behind me when things heat up, makin’ sure I’m never in a position that could upset me.  And I don’t want us walkin’ on eggshells around each other. Especially not in bed.”

 

“Respecting your limits isn’t a hardship,” Parker insisted.  “You always respect ours. That’s what you do for the people you love.”

 

“I know,” Eliot agreed, “but this ain’t how I want us to keep goin.’  The thing is… thing is, I can’t forget the feel of someone who don’t belong, but Hardison, you _do_ belong.  You’re who I pick, who I go to bed with every night.  I can’t promise that I’ll ever _like_ having sex that way, but I want to get to the point where you’re not afraid to touch me like that and I’m not afraid of what I’ll do if you do.  I want that for all of us.”

 

Parker looked from Eliot to Hardison, who nodded slowly.  “I’m down with whatever you want to do building up that comfort level.  Not like it’s gonna be any hardship if it’s anything like last night was.  But Eliot, I am absolutely _not_ gonna fuck you if it’s not something you _want._  I don’t care if eventually you think you could let it happen without panicking.  That’s not enough. I can’t…” He shook his head. “If it’s ever something you want to try, if it’s something you think will feel good, and you’ll enjoy, then I’m all for it.  But until that time comes, if it ever does, I won’t go all the way.”

 

Something in Eliot roiled at that objection.  He could take it. He could take the pain, take the punishment.  That’s what he did. But this wasn’t supposed to _be_ punishment.  And with how strongly Hardison felt about pain in bed, asking him to cross that line would be cruel.

 

Maybe there _would_ come a day when he actually wanted it.  His heart wanted Hardison every way he could have him.  Someday, maybe, his body would catch up. But in the meantime, they could work on getting past smaller hurdles first.

 

“Alright,” he agreed.  “No big steps at first.  I’ll keep tryin’ things like last night, and when I’m confident that I’m in control, I’ll have you start tryin’ some things too.  We go in with the goal of gettin’ to the point where you don’t have to be cautious in bed anymore, and we’ll see where things go from there.”

 

“Seems very reasonable,” Parker agreed.  Hardison nodded.

 

“Yeah.  I’m good with that.”

 

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a drivin’ urge to go take apart another punchin’ bag.  Totally unrelated, of course.”

 

“Uh huh, suuuure,” Hardison laughed.  “But good luck with that. The new ones I bought are made from double-jacket wrap yarns.  That’s what they make _fire hoses_ from.”

 

“I say I get it apart in fifteen minutes.  Loser does laundry for a week?”

 

“Make it a month.”

 

“Deal,” Eliot laughed.  He already knew he could get the bag apart in ten.

 

***

 

The three of them didn’t often take much time off for personal business, mostly by mutual consent, but they all knew that the option was there if they ever needed it.

 

When Archie had a heart attack, they cleared their schedules without second thought.  Eliot didn’t like the man, but he was the closest thing Parker had to a father, and if she wanted to be there for him, then he was going to be there for her.  Hardison had warmed up to Archie a bit the last time they had seen him, so Eliot was counting on him to handle the touchy feely stuff.

 

A quick hack of the hospital records before they got on the plane told them that things didn’t look good.  He’d survived the initial heart attack, but his heart had been badly damaged. There wasn’t anything they could do to fix it.  Hardison explained it to her gently, expecting her to break down, but she remained stoic. Eerily unfeeling. His imminent loss was making her shut down, and not even Hardison and Eliot could get through to her yet.

 

Eliot gave her space.  He remembered how conflicted he’d felt about his own father’s death a few years back - and that was even with all the unpleasant history between them.  Parker didn’t hold Archie’s failures as a parent against him. Eliot could hardly imagine how difficult it must be for her to deal with so much grief. What he _did_ understand was her need to shut everything out.  If she couldn’t feel, then she couldn’t hurt.

 

All he could do was wait until, inevitably, the walls crumbled down, and be there to help her through it.

  


The hardest part was watching Archie’s family react to her.  They hadn’t even met her until five years before, and though Archie had explained somewhat about taking in a foundling and that he considered her his daughter, they couldn’t understand the relationship between their husband and father and this pretty blonde girl.  None of them were outright rude, but Eliot could see the suspicion in their faces.

 

When he’d heard Archie’s son looking pointedly at Parker and asking his mother about the will, it had only been Hardison’s restraining arm that had kept him from putting the idiot through the wall.  Instead, Hardison had taken the man aside and explained - in far more polite terms than Eliot would have used - that Parker was already wealthy enough without wanting a single cent from Archie.

 

There had been some relief from the sideways glances and words spoken just out of earshot after that, but it was clear that they didn’t see Parker as family and never would.

 

Archie was in and out of consciousness, and kept on pain medication which limited his periods of lucidity.  Sometimes he reached out to Parker, talked to her, held her hand. Those were the only times she seemed alive.  He told her over and over again - likely not remembering that he’d said it already - how much he regretted not making her part of his real family.  And over and over again, she dismissed the idea, telling him that he’d done enough already.

 

It broke Eliot’s fucking heart.  It was like she didn’t think she _deserved_ to have been part of his family.  For all the progress they’d made together in the last few years, in showing her what is was like when people really cared, in helping her see that she was _good enough,_ she still didn’t apply those things to her childhood.  She saw herself as having been broken, so it was only fair that Archie had kept her at a distance.  She was grateful that he’d honed her into a tool for him to use, refined her skill, made her something that while still unloveable was at least worth his time.

 

It might have been her time in foster homes and on the street that made her lose her faith in people, but it was her time with Archie that had made her lose faith in _herself._  And that’s exactly how they’d found her, wild, reckless, convinced the only thing she had to offer was her skill as a thief.  Now, seeing her back with him as he lay dying, it was like she was that girl all over again.

 

Hardison tried at night to hold her close, to comfort her, but she wouldn’t take it.  She slept up in the rafters of the penthouse suite they’d rented specifically for that reason.

 

Less than a week later, Archie died.  They stayed in town for the funeral, and Parker even spoke at the service, but when they left, she didn’t look back.  Eliot knew she wouldn’t ever speak to any of those people again. It wasn’t until they got back to Portland that she finally cried.  Eliot rocked her against his chest while Hardison kissed her fingers, and none of them spoke.

 

That night, when the three of them lay curled close in bed, Hardison reached out again.

 

“I’m so sorry, Parker.  Whatever you need from us, we’re here.”

 

She tried to shrug, but the gesture was so weak that they almost didn’t even feel it.  “People die.”

 

“Don’t mean you can’t be sad about it, or that you don’t deserve a little comfort.”

 

“Did you need comfort when your father died, Eliot?”

 

He shook his head.  “It wasn’t the same thing, darlin.’”

 

“Why not?  He was your _actual_ dad.”

 

“You know he an’ I had our share of problems.”

 

“And that made you not sad when he died?”

 

“I was-” he stopped, letting out a breath as he tried to put it into words.  “I was disappointed. That we hadn’t ever gotten a chance to talk again. That he’d hadn’t had the chance to explain himself, and I didn’t have the opportunity to forgive him.”

 

“Would you have?”

 

“I don’t know.  Now I never will.  And for all our disagreements, he still brought me into the world.  He provided for me the best he knew how. There were things worth grieving for.”

 

“You didn’t come to us for comfort,” she said, a little sadly.

 

“No, I didn’t.  I locked it all away and didn’t deal with it at all, but sweetheart, that’s not the best solution.  If it had happened now, or if we’d already been together back then, I might’ve talked about it. Let you both help me through it.”

 

“And we would’ve wanted to,” Hardison added putting his hand over both of theirs.

 

Parker was silent for a long time, letting herself feel enveloped by the men on either side of her.  Eventually, she looked back up at Eliot. “You never liked Archie.” It wasn’t an accusation, just a simple statement of fact.

 

“No, I didn’t.  But that don’t mean I can’t be sympathetic.  I like _you_ more’n enough for both of you.”

 

“I wouldn’t be who I am without him, you know.  Wouldn’t be _here.”_

 

“If you wanna look at it that way,” Eliot acknowledged.

 

“What other way is there?”

 

Eliot sighed.  “If you think you have to be grateful for everything that got you to where you are, then you can’t regret any of the bad stuff.  I’ve got a hundred sins in my past that I wish I could erase, and maybe, without any one of them, I’d’ve never met either of you.  And while I don’t think I’d give you up for the chance to redo it all, that don’t mean that I can’t wish things could’ve gone differently.  So I can acknowledge what a lucky son of a bitch I am to have what I do now while still wanting to have talked with my old man again, wishing Cassie hadn’t killed herself, and hating the fact that Archie didn’t give you everything you deserved.  A real home, a real family.”

 

There was another stretch of silence, then Parker said, “he liked you, you know.”  Eliot laughed a little.

 

“He approved of _Hardison._  Somehow I doubt he would’ve felt the same about me.”

 

“No, he liked you too.  He was… relieved, I think, that I’d found you all.  That I had people who could give me what he couldn’t.”

 

_What he wouldn’t,_ Eliot wanted to correct, but bit his tongue.  “I’m sure he was.”

 

“Am I allowed to be mad at him and still miss him?  Still love him?”

 

“Of course you are,” Hardison promised.  “It’s okay to feel _however_ you feel.  And we’re here for you no matter what.”

 

“I think… I think it’s gonna be okay.”  She pulled them a little closer, and they held her a little tighter.

  


***

 

Hardison was the most open, most unguarded of the three of them, but Eliot was the one that remembered birthdays and anniversaries and romantic gestures.  Oh, he denied it, but both Parker and Hardison only kissed away his gruff denials by now. He had a mountain of issues, but he was the most romantically experienced of the three of them, and damnit, they deserved  to be romanced a little.

 

Which was why he was thinking about rings.  Technically, he didn’t care about ceremonies - it wasn’t like they could all get legally married anyways - but he thought maybe they would like some kind of formal commitment.  Well, Parker might think it was strange, but Hardison wouldn’t. He considered talking to them about it separately, then rejected the idea. They were all in this together. Parker might not think that a further commitment was necessary, but it was something she deserved anyway.

 

And that was really the heart of this.  If it was anyone else, if the circumstances were any different, the idea of making this kind of pledge to someone would terrify him.  He’d learned his lessons about making promises long ago. But this wasn’t just anyone. It was Parker and Hardison. There was no power on this earth that could turn him from them, no length he would not go to in order to protect them, no vow he could take now that he had not already made in his heart.

 

It was why he’d allowed himself to start this thing with them, and it was why he could follow it through.

 

A week after he’d first started thinking about it, he took cash - because Hardison oversaw security on all of their accounts and he would definitely notice this kind of transaction - and bought three identical rings.  Three bands made of unending Celtic knots, titanium for his and white gold for Parker and Hardison’s.

 

Once he had them in his possession - which he knew wasn’t the best idea with a master thief in the house - he realized there was one more thing he needed to do before he could reveal his intentions.

 

He used his private, untraceable laptop to print two copies of a news article that had been written almost a decade ago.  He folded them up, ignoring the tremor in his hands as he did so, then left one copy on Hardison’s keyboard and the other on the control panel for Parker’s laser field.  If he had their schedules down - and he did - then they’d find them in less than ten minutes. Eliot laced up his running shoes and headed up the hiking trail behind the house.  It was an AA3A trail, but with the devils nipping at his heels behind him, he expected he’d make it back in less than three hours.

 

***

 

Two and a half hours later, he showered off outside and pulled on a new t shirt and jeans before going back in the house.  As he’d expected, Parker and Hardison were waiting for him in the living room, each holding their copy of the article.

 

“There you are!” Hardison exclaimed, stopping his pacing to stare at Eliot accusingly.  “What the hell are these?” He held up the paper.

 

“They’re somethin’ we need to talk about.”

 

“Eliot, is this-” Parker bit her lip, unwilling to ask.  

 

“Sit down, Alec.  I’ll explain.” Eliot took what he’d come to think of as his ‘confession seat’ in the chair and waited for Hardison to sit too.  “I’m assumin’ that I gave you enough time to get to the classified files and dig up the rest of the story?”

 

“Took less than half the time you were gone,” Hardison snorted, “for all that there wasn’t much there.”  He looked down at the article he was still holding, then put it on the table and pushed it away, as if he wanted as much distance from it as possible.  “If this is some kind of job, I think we’re in over our heads with it. Whoever this guy is, he’s dangerous.”

 

“I know.”

 

“No, _dangerous,_ Eliot.  Seriously.”

 

“I know,” Eliot repeated.

 

“Hardison-” Parker put her hand on Hardison’s arm, half holding him for support, half keeping him still.

 

“I know because it’s _me.”_

 

They both stared at him silently.  Parker’s face was twisted up with pain and a resigned kind of sadness.  She must have figured out what the articles meant. Hardison’s was full of horror.

 

“This was the last job I did for Damien Moreau.”

 

“Y-you… _you_ did this?”

 

“Yes.”  There was no amount of explaining or rationalizing that made that fact not true.  Hardison shook his head, uncomprehending. Not believing it. Eliot couldn’t blame him.  It was difficult to think that the person that had committed that crime could be human, let alone the man he’d been sleeping with for over a year.

 

“This is what you did… the thing you did that you asked me not to ask you about.”

 

“Yes.”

 

“No, that can’t-  it’s not-”

 

“It is.”

 

_“Why?”_  There were tears in Hardison’s eyes, and Eliot didn’t have the heart to watch them fall.  He wanted to run. But if ever there was a punishment he deserved, this was it. To have to watch the face of the people he loved as he revealed to them the gruesome details of his worst sin.

 

“Tell us what happened, Eliot,” Parker said, keeping her voice carefully soft.

 

Eliot steeled himself.  Then he started at the beginning.  “After I left the military, I started workin’ freelance.  I had a reputation for bein’ able to do a certain kind of job, and those were the offers I got.  I didn’t think about them. Didn’t let myself. The first job I took for Moreau was an easy one. He paid well, didn’t question my methods, an’ said he’d call me again when he had more work for me.

 

“The jobs got progressively more difficult, like he was testin’ me.  But I never failed, and he liked that I didn’t talk. He played the part of charming, clean-handed host a few times, an’ I let him.  I got to know the people who worked for him, the kind of businesses he ran, the lengths he went to. He was a viper. After a while, his brutality started to bother even me.  The men he hired, the methods he encouraged them to use… I couldn’t do it anymore. Not like he wanted.

 

“I had planned to turn down his next job.  Despite our history, I’d never worked _for_ him.  He knew that from the beginning.  But then I got the file. Three families.  Political refugees under protection. One member of each family with information that could take down Moreau’s businesses.  He wanted them wiped out. All of them.”

 

“And you said _yes?!”_  Hardison would have shot to his feet if Parker’s hand hadn’t held him down.

 

_“I had to!”_  Eliot clenched his fists and looked away.  “When Moreau wants someone dead, he don’t just give up on it when the first hitman he asks turns him down.  He is _relentless._  If I’d told him no, he would have given the job to someone else.  Chapman, the guy that was his head of security when he came to the US, was his next on call at the time.  He was- he _liked_ it.  Liked takin’ his time.  Liked cuttin’ people up until there wasn’t anything left to cut.  He had no mercy, no conscience. He’d- He did things I couldn’t even stomach back then.

 

“If I hadn’t done it, he would have sent Chapman.  It would have been a blood bath. I have no idea how long he’d have made them suffer before he ended it.  I didn’t see any other way out. There was no way for me to warn them what was comin’, no way to protect them.  If I’d killed Chapman, Moreau would’ve found another hitman, and another. All I could do was make it quick. Make it painless.”

 

“And you did?”

 

Eliot nodded once.  “I did. No one even woke up.  No one felt a thing. They went to bed one night and that was it.  All eighteen of them, gone by mornin’. The security detail that was on them didn’t realize anything was wrong until no one got up for breakfast.  By then, I was long gone. With blood on my hands I’ll never be clean of and haunted by memories that never fade. The pattern on one of the boy’s pajamas, the stuffed animal the youngest girl was snuggling-”

 

He broke off, realizing that there was moisture on his face.  He wiped it away roughly and cleared his throat. “Moreau offered me a permanent position with him when I got back.  I turned him down and walked away. From all of it. I came back to the states, holed up in a little apartment in the middle of nowhere, an’ tried to forget everything I’d ever done.  It didn’t work. I thought about killing myself. I think I probably would have.”

 

“What stopped you?”  Hardison’s voice had softened, and Eliot wished it hadn’t.  He would have preferred the anger.

 

“There was this couple that lived nextdoor.  The walls were paper thin, and I could hear them screamin’ at each other at night.  Mostly I ignored them. What did I care if they wanted to tear each other’s throats out?   But then one night he started smackin’ her around. He threw her against the wall so hard it shook.  And it was like a light switched on.

 

“I went over, politely knocked on the door, and politely beat the shit out of him.”

 

Parker snorted out a laugh and Hardison echoed it weakly.

 

“That sounds about right.”

 

Eliot shrugged.  “He left the next day and never came back.  She hated me after that, but I didn’t care. It’d been the right thing to do.  And everything formed itself around that concept. Nothin’ I do can ever erase the things I’ve done.  If there’s a hell, I’m goin’. But I decided then and there that I could do a few good deeds on the way down.  I put myself back together, started takin’ jobs again, this time without any killing. And then, a few years later, I took a job as the muscle for a heist.  And I met some people who annoyed the hell outta me, but wanted to do the right thing, too. So I stayed, because it was where I belonged.”

 

“With us,” Parker whispered.

 

“With you.  Helping people.”

 

“And you haven’t killed anyone since.”

 

“That… that ain’t exactly true.”

 

Hardison flinched.  Eliot swallowed hard and forced himself to look at them.  “The day after the incident in the pool, with Moreau. Nate, the Italian, and I were pinned down in a warehouse with Moreau’s guards.  I made an opening for them, and then I took out the guards. All of them.”

 

“Even Chapman?”

 

Eliot nodded.  “Good,” Parker declared.  Eliot blinked at her, shocked.

 

“Good?”

 

“What?  Someone like that shouldn’t be walking around with everyone else.  They shouldn’t be walking around at all.”

 

“But Parker, I-”

 

“You did the right thing.”

 

“That’s the _problem!_  Don’t you see?  I did it again! The worst part about what I did for Moreau ain’t that I did it.  It’s that I thought it was the right thing to do. That I _still_ think it was the right thing to do.   Workin’ with Nate, with you guys now, is my safety net.  It keeps me from bein’ in that situation again, where it’s just me and the decision to do somethin’ terrible the best way I can or let someone else do it their way.  Because I don’t know if I could make a different decision today than I did back then.”

 

“You won’t ever have to find out,” Parker promised softly.  Hardison stared at Eliot, hard and long, then nodded.

 

“You said we’re your safety net?  Then we’re the best damn net there ever was.  You work with us so there’s never another circumstance where you have to do something like that again.”

 

“But if there is-”

 

“If there is, then we’ll be right beside you.  Eliot…” Hardison let out a breath and shook his head.  “I don’t know if I would have made the same decision. If I _could_ have.  But I can tell you that I would have had the same guilt either way.  And I probably would have regretted it for the rest of my life.”

 

“We do things others can’t,” Parker said, quoting something Eliot had said to her once.  “It doesn’t necessarily make us bad. It just makes us, us.”

 

“That ain’t you, darlin’.  It ain’t the same. But it _is_ me.  And now you’ve both got a choice to make.”

 

Hardison glanced at Parker, then shook his head again.  “No, we don’t. We already made our decision. Nothing you’ve said today changes that.”

 

“Maybe it should.”

 

“Maybe you should shut yo damn mouth and accept that you’re stuck with us.”

 

Eliot growled a little, but it turned into almost laughter.  “I ain’t complainin’ about that. Never have, never will.”

 

“Good!”  Parker got up and settled herself in Eliot’s lap.  “And I’m still glad Chapman’s dead. And Moreau’s rotting in that dungeon place in San Lorenzo.”

 

Eliot thought about telling her that her euphemism was entirely literal - Moreau hadn’t adapted well to life in captivity - but decided against it.  There had been enough talk of death already.

 

“Listen, Eliot, I-”  Hardison shifted over on the couch until he could take Eliot’s hand.  “I’m sorry I freaked out.”

 

“You had every reason-”

 

“No, I didn’t.  I _know_ you.  I should have known that there was more to it.  I’m sorry I doubted you.”

 

Eliot didn’t know what to say to that.  Whatever the reasoning, Eliot didn’t think his actions were forgivable.  He didn’t see how Parker and Hardison could still want to sit here with him, touching hands that had so much innocent blood on them.  He couldn’t forgive Hardison for doubting him because Eliot knew those fears were entirely true. There was nothing _to_ forgive.  Instead of speaking, he lifted Hardison’s hand and kissed the palm.

 

“Does anyone have any big angsty secrets left to share?” Parker asked a little later.  “I think we should just get them all out now if we do.” She looked at Hardison, who shrugged.

 

“Ya’ll already know all my dirty laundry.  There may be one or two geek fantasies I haven’t confessed to yet, but that’s more _embarrassing_ than anything else.”  He looked to Eliot. “You?”

 

“That one’s the worst of it.  You both know that I’ve killed before, but not like that.  Now, if we’re talkin’ sex fetishes then we’ll be here all night, so I’m just gonna skip right over that.  What about you, darlin’?”

 

Parker looked uncomfortable now that the spotlight was on her, as if she hadn’t thought that far ahead.  “I… I may have left a guy to die once,” she admitted.

 

_“What?”_  Hardison looked at her as if she’d grown antennae.

 

“Hey, he wasn’t a very good guy.  He only liked having sex when the other person wasn’t enjoying it, and he was friends with Archie so I couldn’t just ditch him or _fight_ him, and I didn’t know how else to - make him stop… hurting me.”

 

Eliot was very careful not to clench his fists or hold her too tight.  He kept his voice light as he asked, “did it take?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“You said you left him to die.  Did he?”

 

“Yeah.  He did.”

 

“Good.  Then you saved me the trouble.”

 

“I wouldn’t have asked you to-”

 

“You don’t have to.”  He looked over at Hardison.  “Ain’t that right.”

 

“Damn straight,” Hardison agreed.

 

“Oh.  Well, good then.  I guess. Do we have to have the full conversation about this right now?  I’ve changed my mind about getting all confessions out of the way at once.”

 

“We don’t have to talk about nothin’ you ain’t ready to share, sweetheart.  Besides, I think we’ve had about enough dark thoughts for one day.”

 

“Great!”  In a flash, the cloud that had come over her was gone and she was smiling again.  “In that case let’s go do something fun!”

 

“Like what?” Hardison asked warily.  Parker’s idea of fun could range from base jumping to eating her weight in chocolate.

 

“How about a midnight picnic?”

 

Hardison smiled, relieved.  “Now that we can-”

 

“On the roof of the art museum!”

 

Hardison groaned and grumbled about crazy plans in the middle of the night, but went to look up the museum’s security system on his computer.  Eliot kissed Parker and told her to go get her rigging.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Couple of things here: the pancakes Eliot makes for them at the beginning of the chapter are actually a recipe of Christian Kane's off of Kane's kitchen. They are a-frickin-mazing, by the way. Second, the story Eliot tells about beating up his neighbor's abusive boyfriend is a true story. Apparently at some point Kane lived next to that couple and that's how he handled it. He even wrote a song about it. The phrase "politely knocked on the door and politely beat the shit out of him" is verbatim how he describes the incident!


	6. Chapter 6

Eliot hadn’t thought that them knowing about the Belgrade massacre would change his relationship with Parker and Hardison for the better.  He’d worried it would end it entirely. Or, barring that, they would look at him differently than they had before. That they wouldn’t be able to trust him any more.  He wasn’t sure he could have handled that.

 

But that wasn't what happened.

 

Maybe it was because he wasn’t afraid anymore.  They knew the worst thing he’d ever done and they were still by his side.  He had no secrets from them, no barriers between them. That made for a kind of closeness unlike any other.  Maybe it was because they somehow trusted him  _ more. _  He’d trusted them with his darkest self, and they knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that they could trust him with the worst versions of themselves, too.  Or maybe it was just that all three of them were all in, no more holding back.

 

Whatever the reason, no matter how improbable Eliot found it, they  _ were _ closer.  They were a seamless unit, working together in flawless synchrony and loving together the same way.    If someone had told him ten years ago that he would have rings to give to the world’s best - and craziest - thief and a genius hacker, he’d have thought they were missing a few screws themselves.  Now, Eliot found himself just waiting for the right time to give them to his unlikely partners.

 

They’d agreed to take some time off after their last big heist, and Eliot would’ve thought it would be the perfect time to sit them down, but somehow, nothing felt right for it.  It wasn’t until a week later that he realized that though the last job had been stressful, and there’d been a lot of close calls, he hadn’t actually needed to take anyone down until a fairly unsatisfying tackle right at the end.

 

He was restless, like he had electricity just beneath his skin, and the longer it went on, the stronger the feeling became.  No way in hell was he going to basically propose when he was itching for a fight.

 

Running himself ragged on his training course didn’t help, even with the more deadly additions Hardison had made to it for him, and he wasn’t about to go find some girl he could pound into the sheets for a distraction.  Which left getting some action on a job. Parker and Hardison seemed happy with the downtime, which made him hesitant to ask them to give it up, but when he found himself practically snarling at Parker for putting his kitchen knives back in the wrong place after she’d made lunch, he knew it was time to say something.

 

“Talk to you two for a sec?” he asked when he found them talking together at Hardison’s desk.  Parker smacked Hardison’s arm and grinned. Hardison just rolled his eyes and followed them out.

 

“So when can we start?” Parker asked eagerly once they were all standing around the table.

 

“Wait, you knew I was gonna ask?”

 

“You ain’t exactly subtle, man,” Hardison scoffed.

 

“I guess, but I thought- I didn’t think you’d be so… happy about it.”

 

“What’s there not to be happy about?  I’ve been waiting for this for  _ ages!” _

 

“It’s only been a  _ week.” _

 

“Wait, what?”

 

“What- what’d you think I was talkin’ about?”

 

“Sex!  What did  _ you _ think we were talking about?”

 

“Sex?  I was talkin’ about a  _ job. _  We just had sex this morning!”

 

“Not  _ regular _ sex!  Work-out-Eliot’s-aggression-sex!  I thought… are you not ready for that yet?”  She sounded so crestfallen that Eliot wanted to punch himself in the face.  Repeatedly. Okay, maybe his restlessness was getting worse than he thought.

 

“Sweetheart, I don’t-”

 

“What are you still worried about?” Hardison asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.  “Why not just give the girl what she wants and you need?”

 

“I…”  What could he really say?  They both knew his reservations about it and didn’t share his fears.  He couldn’t even say that they didn’t know what he was capable of. They  _ knew _ him, top to bottom, inside and out.  They trusted him completely, and he trusted them too.  What was really holding him back? “Are- are you sure this’s really what you want?”

 

Even knowing what her answer would be, he still had to ask one last time.  She nodded, barely daring to smile with the hope he was giving her.

 

“I really, really am.”

 

“Trust her, El.  She knows what she’s asking for.”

 

There it was again.  Trust. And he did trust her.  He let out a long, slow breath, trying to ignore the excitement sparking along his blood stream.  “Alright,” he agreed, then held up his hand before she could get ahead of herself. “But if we’re gonna do this thing, there’s gonna be rules.”

 

“But-”

 

“No buts, Parker.  These rules are non-negotiable.  First and most important one is, if at  _ any _ point you feel like it’s too much, you call it off.  I know most folks have some kinda special word to say if things get out of hand, but we don’t need that.  I know you. I know your voice. You say stop, and it stops, no questions asked. That understood?”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Second is that if I feel like I’m losin’ control, or like I’m goin’ too far, then I’ll call it off myself.  If I tell you to go, you run. If I get myself outta there, you don’t come after me.”

 

“Eliot, it won’t-”

 

“Promise me, Parker.”

 

She shook her head a little at his overprotectiveness, but agreed.  “Alright. I promise.”

 

“Third rule.  If I think, at any time, that you’re beyond your limits and you’re not tellin’ me, then we stop, and we don’t do this again.  I need to know that you’re bein’ one hundred percent honest with me, and with yourself, about what you can handle.” She looked ready to protest again, so he stepped close, cupping her jaw.  “You know how much I love you. Don’t make me live with hurtin’ you.”

 

_ That _ was enough to make her think twice.  He wasn’t just putting these rules in place to protect her.  They were to protect  _ him, _ too.  And that was something she wouldn’t just brush aside.  “I won’t,” she swore.

 

“Alright then.  Another thing that don’t apply to now but is important for later: if I’m ever spoilin’ for this, and you ain’t in the mood or don’t feel up for it or  _ anything _ like that, you tell me straight and we figure somethin’ else out.  If it happens that we both want this at the same time, fine, but I won’t have you  _ enduring _ it because you think I need it.  I can sort myself out one way or another.  Got it?”

 

Parker gave him an okay sign and a smile.  She didn’t think she’d ever need to turn him down, but she knew she’d do it if she had to.

 

“Two last things, then.  Is there anything you know you don’t want me to do?”

 

She thought about it for a little bit, genuinely trying to think of anything he might do to her that she wouldn’t like.  The thing was, if it was with  _ him, _ she would go anywhere he led.  No matter how far down they went.  “No. But maybe- have Hardison leave if there’s going to be any blood.”

 

Hardison flinched visibly, and Eliot’s eyes darkened.  “There ain’t gonna be any blood, sweetheart. If I needed it to take you the places I wanna go, I wouldn’t be doin’ my job right.  But I’ll keep the sentiment in mind.” Beside them, Hardison relaxed. “One last thing now.” Eliot slid his hand down to rub his thumb across Parker’s lower lip.  She parted for him, letting the tip of her tongue graze his skin. “Is there anythin’ you know you  _ do _ want from me?”

 

“Don’t hold back,” she whispered, heart pounding in her ears.  “Let me take everything you’ve got boiling inside you and let it go.  Let me be your outlet, and make me love it so much I scream for more.”  She bit her lip, catching Eliot’s thumb, then smiled, almost bashfully. “And choke me a little bit while you’re at it.”

 

Eliot couldn’t help himself; he chuckled and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.  “I can do that.”

 

“Now?” she asked hopefully.

 

“Yeah,” Eliot growled, all at once starving for her.  “Right fuckin’ now.”

 

***

 

An hour later, Parker was suspended from the ceiling, her arms behind her back and her ass upturned at the perfect angle for Eliot to hit.  He cracked his palm down across her flushed skin again and her whole body rocked forward. The momentum sent the chain between her nipple clamps swaying, making the tugging pressure of them increase.  She shrieked at the overwhelming sensation.

 

Eliot slammed his cock into her, his grip on her hips hard enough to leave bruises.  Instead of picking up a pace she could get any kind of relief from he pulled out almost immediately and went to stand in front of her.  Without having to be ordered, Parker opened her mouth. He thrust in hard and fast, making her taste the abundance of her own slickness on his cock, choking her with it from the inside while his hands wrapped around her throat.

 

She would have moaned if she could have.  Instead, all she could do was clench her thighs against the rushes of pleasure and let him have his way.

 

Eliot felt her start to swallow and lightened his grip enough to allow her throat to move beneath his hand.  When she was done, he put the pressure back on, keeping it perfectly enough to stifle her breathing but not crush her larynx.  Her eyes started to water and he finally pulled back, letting her gasp in air.

 

He moved back around and delivered another jarring blow, this one directly across her sex.  She screamed and devolved into mindless begging for release. He indulged her, sliding his cock back into her and pounding relentlessly until he could feel her start to come.  As soon as the gripping pleasure began, he pulled out and dropped to his knees. He urged her through the orgasm with his hand while he bit another mark onto her inner thigh to match the others he’d left for each of her orgasms.

 

When she was limp and exhausted, Eliot pulled the release loop on the ropes and caught her as she fell.  Without giving her time to recover, he slammed her against the wall, holding her upright with her knees pinned to her shoulders, and then he was inside her again.  He felt somehow even deeper than before, battering her swollen and overstimulated g-spot with the head of his cock again and again.

 

Once she’d come down from her orgasm induced high, Parker caught him mid thrust with her foot against his shoulder.  She shoved him back with all the still considerable strength left in her quad. He stumbled a step, slipping out of her and dropping her to her feet.  She grinned at him in challenge. Then with a snarl so animalistic that it sent a pulse directly to her clit, he was on her again. He spun her around and pinned her shoulders against the wall, catching her hair at the last moment to keep her face from hitting.  He kept her pressed there, hard, while he took advantage of her flexibility and raised her leg straight back. Once she was opened up, he started fucking her again.

 

Each thrust was a calculated movement, knowing how hard he could grip her before a bruise would form, how much friction each spot on her body could take before skin would break, how much air she was getting with how hard he had her pressed against the wall and how long she’d been pinned that way.  It was all about control. About using his body like the finely tuned machine it was to extract just the right amount of sensation from her. It was about using the violence that always slept in his heart to heighten her pleasure. Walking her down the thin line between pain and ecstasy. Controlling the darkness creeping through his veins by controlling  _ her, _ not letting a single jolt of sensation go through her body that he didn’t purposely put there.

 

He urged her arms up behind his neck, and a moment later she was clutching him as he lifted her away from the wall, still inside her.  He couldn’t thrust in that position, so he spun them and let his back rest against the wall, then used his grip on her hips to impale her on his length while she still clung to his neck.  When she was starting to get close to another orgasm, he reached up and tugged the chain of the clamps, making them pop off. She screamed and sobbed and came all at once. Eliot fucked her through it, giving no mercy.

 

The last of her hoarse moans had barely died away before he pulled out and let her on her feet.  She could hardly hold her own weight. He lifted one of her legs straight up into a split and bit another mark onto her thigh.  She whimpered.

 

“On your knees,” he growled, letting her go.  Parker dropped bonelessly. Eliot’s hand slid into the hair at the base of her neck and pulled brutally tight.  He used the purchase to fuck her throat like a cocksleeve. She was running out of energy or will to defy him, but she let her teeth graze his shaft hard enough to sting.  He responded by putting his other hand on her throat. His thumb pressed against her artery, one second, two, three. Her vision swam. A thrill went through her, even as exhausted as she was, and she shuddered.  Her head spun. Then the pressure was gone and the world righted itself.

 

Eliot pulled out of her throat and shoved her backwards.  She didn’t have the energy to maintain her balance and ended up flat on her back, head pillowed on the cushion Eliot had been herding her towards.

 

“You’re gonna come again when I do,” he ordered.

 

“I can’t-”

 

“Shut up,” Eliot snapped.  “Open that pretty mouth again to do anything but scream, and I’ll shove my cock back in it.”  Parker’s mouth clicked shut. He smirked down at her. “Now hold onto me, darlin’. This is where it gets rough.”

 

_ Gets? _ she thought in dazed wonder.  But she put her arms around his shoulders and held on.  He buried himself inside her and went wild, riding her like a an unbroken stallion.  Each slam of his hips against her oversensitive clit pushed her towards an impossible orgasm.  She didn’t think she could take one more. But Eliot  _ knew _ she could, and that was enough.  She let her body go totally lax beneath him, softening against his hardness, relenting in the face of his strength.  

 

Release swept through her like a tidal wave that she was utterly helpless against.  She barely felt him thrust into her twice more, then still as he came inside her. He grabbed her leg where it had been hitched around his waist and brought it up to her shoulder again, putting one last mark on her thigh, just above her knee.  She clenched around him as he did, making them both moan. Then he said something to Hardison that she didn’t quite catch and collapsed on top of her.

 

Eliot felt her racing pulse start to slow, her breathing even out.  He was exhausted himself, but he pushed up and kissed her softly. Her eyes fluttered open and she gave him a sleepy, sated smile.

 

“Hi,” she whispered.

 

“Hi there.  How d’you feel?”

 

“Tired.  Sore. Happy.”

 

“Happy?”

 

“Uh-huh.  You don’t have that  _ look _ anymore.  You’re all here again.”

 

“Yeah, I am.  Thanks to you.”

 

“I’m glad.”

 

“It- it was worth it, then?”

 

Parker laughed a little.   _ “Worth it? _  Eliot, you could do that to me every other week just for  _ fun. _  The fact that it helps you so much is more than enough reason.  In fact, I’m going to have to start planning jobs where you don’t see any action at all just so you-”

 

Eliot cut her off with a kiss.  “Alright, I get it. I’m glad you’re happy.  C’mon, let’s get you in a bath.” He urged her arms around his neck again and lifted her up, holding both of their weight on his screaming muscles by sheer force of will.  They made it to the bathroom without incident, and he slipped them both into the water Hardison had drawn for them. 

 

“This must be what heaven feels like,” Parker moaned.  Hardison rolled his eyes and smiled. Eliot studied the space left in the tub and then looked at Hardison appraisingly.

 

“Don’t even think about it, man.  No way in hell I can fit in there too.  Tub’s big, but not big enough for the two of you  _ and _ six foot of black man.”

 

“I’m puttin’ in a new one next week, then.”

 

Hardison grinned.  He did something on his phone, fingers flying across the screen deftly, then looked back up.  “New one’s ordered. Should get here Monday.”

 

“You already had one picked out?”

 

“What, a man can’t use some of his free time thinking about what bathtub would be big enough to fit both his partners and him at the same time?”

 

“I ain’t complainin’.”

 

“And you definitely won’t be when we’re all soaking in a tub with room to spare and a whirlpool jets.”

 

It already sounded incredible.

 

Eliot washed Parker down, being careful with places he knew she was sore, and gently washed her hair.  She was limp as a ragdoll when he finally lifted her from the cooling water, leaving Eliot and Hardison to towel her off.  They carried her to bed and she immediately burrowed under the covers, but Eliot pulled them off of her.

 

“Not quite yet, sweetheart.  Let me finish takin’ care of you.”  He got three different salves out and started working her over with them.  Each spot where her skin was pink got one, bruised places got another. And every other part of her was massaged into utter relaxation.  She couldn’t even stay awake until the end, passing out while he rubbed the arches of her feet.

 

Eliot put the creams away and went over to Hardison, resolutely ignoring the ache of exhaustion behind his eyes.  “Lemmie take care of you too,” he murmured, pressing a kiss low on Hardison’s belly. Hardison snorted.

 

“You’re barely holding yourself up.”

 

“I’m fine,” he insisted.

 

“Yes, you are,” Hardison agreed, pulling Eliot further up the bed, “which is why I already got off watching you work.  I’m good, man. Seriously. Give yourself a break.”

 

Eliot looked down at Hardison’s cock, which hadn’t gotten more than half hard, despite the proximity of Eliot’s mouth.  When he decided that Hardison really meant it, he pressed a kiss to his lips, then let himself collapse beside Parker.

 

“Alec…”

 

“I know,” Hardison said, wrapping his arms around them both.  “I love you too.”

 

Wrung out, satisfied in every way possible, and more at peace than he’d felt in his life, Eliot fell asleep.  Four hours later he woke up without having had a single dream, and let himself indulge in the company of his sleeping partners for a long while more before getting up to water the garden.

 

***

 

If Eliot didn’t think it would’ve been entirely inappropriate, he would have given them the rings the next day.  The disquiet that had been buzzing inside of him was gone, and he couldn’t think of a single thing holding him back any more.  He felt relaxed, comfortable in his own skin in a way he hadn’t for a long time. The release being with Parker like that provided was better than anything else that he’d used before.  He didn’t feel like he’d just run the beast inside of him down enough to be caged again. He felt like she’d patted the damn thing’s head and made it her pet.

 

He was still wild, and always would be, but there really was no part of him that Parker and Hardison didn’t own completely.

 

Still, it felt downright obscene to have throw-you-down-and-fuck-you-unconscious sex and then propose the next day.  He was more of a gentleman than that. Instead, he filled the following days with all the things they loved best. They all played one of Hardison’s video games the next afternoon.  Hardison won of course, though Eliot did better than he thought he would. Parker had forgotten the point of the game entirely and somehow built an army of zombie animals by the time they were done.

 

The day after that, they hiked into the hills behind the house and he showed Parker the new zipline he’d added there for her.  While she took off flying, he even gave Hardison a weighted rig that would let him coast along at a far more leisurely pace.

 

When the new tub showed up, they spent a day putting it in, then indulged in leisurely bath sex with an oil based lube specially made to be used in water.  They were all exceptionally happy with both purchases.

 

It wasn’t until two days after that, that Eliot sent them out of the house so that he could make a special dinner.  Some piece of tech Hardison was interested in happened to be coming out, and Parker had been talking about getting more junk food for her  _ secret stash _ \- which Eliot was well aware was under the bed, thank you very much - so they both went without protest.  He claimed he wanted to watch some fights, which bored them both to death, and sent them on their unsuspecting way.

 

While they were gone, he cooked enough food to feed a small country, each of their favorites, clipped a few flowers from his hothouse to put on the table and in the living room, set out candles to light, checked that the rings were in his pocket, put away the candles because they were ridiculous, thought for the thousandth time about what he wanted to say, and got the damn candles back out because yes they were ridiculous, but that was almost the point.

 

He was fairly sure that he didn’t have anything to be nervous about.  After all, he wasn’t asking anything of them that they hadn’t all already committed to.  But it still  _ felt _ like more.  And there was this dark part of his heart that just kept asking, who would want to claim  _ him? _  He was a tool, he served a purpose, and he was damn good at what he did, but for someone to want more than to just get use out of him, to want to wear his ring and call him theirs… it seemed impossible.  And for  _ two _ people to want that?  Impossible and greedy.

 

Parker was the world’s best thief, intelligent, graceful, beautiful, spirited.  Hardison was the smartest man Eliot had ever known, with enough heart for all three of them, good looks, and a wicked sense of humor.  They’d already had a relationship before Eliot had joined in. They’d been perfectly happy without him.

 

It wasn’t often that Eliot let himself focus on his flaws - unless he could fix them, he didn’t much see the point - but he knew they were there.  He was a killer, no matter how reformed, scarred and emotionally damaged. He was good at taking punishment others couldn’t, but eventually even that would fade.  What could he offer them when his body eventually failed him? The pretty face he’d somehow managed to keep despite all his fights would go too, and he’d be nothing but dead weight around their necks - provided he didn’t get killed somewhere along the way.

 

The candlestick in his hand snapped, and he realized he’d been putting them away again.  Ready to call the whole damn thing off because he wasn’t good enough for them and never would be.

 

Except… except that they’d  _ already _ chosen him.  He  _ knew _ that.  Maybe what he had planned was making all this insecurities come to the surface, but none of that changed who and what they were.  They were the people that had opened their hearts to him, had accepted him, his faults and virtues, his darkness and his light. They knew him, knew all of the things about him he felt made him unworthy, and they still wanted him.  And they weren’t children who needed someone to make their decisions for them, to tell them what they should and shouldn’t want.

 

Who was he to deny them?  Which circled him back around to what had prompted him to buy the damn rings in the first place.  They were in this, for better or worse, and he was going to do it right. Maybe they’d say no. Maybe they wouldn’t want this step.  But he wanted to offer it to them either way.

 

He put the candles back down and went to go pull dessert out of the oven.

  
  


When the motion sensors at the edge of the property picked up the car pulling in, Eliot plated dinner and lit the candles.  He was still half tempted to put them away, but restrained himself. He checked again that he had the rings in his pocket, then uncorked a bottle of the sweet red wine Parker liked and a second bottle of the white he and Hardison preferred.

 

They were bickering when they came in, something about computers and chocolate - he didn't even want to know how those two things could mix - but they halted when they caught the smell coming from the kitchen.

 

“Baby girl, I think we died on the way home and ascended to some sort of food heaven.”

 

“Does that mean we get as many stomachs as we need?  Because I think I’m gonna need a second or third before I’ll be ready to throw in the towel.”

 

“It ain’t heaven if the devil’s doin’ the cookin’.”  Eliot wiped his hands on a towel and tossed it away. He kissed them both and waved them over to the table.  Hardison practically sprinted, but Parker held back for a minute. She squinted at him.

 

“You look… different.”

 

“What?  No I don’t.”

 

“Yes, you do.  But I can’t quite see-”

 

“He spiffed himself up,” Hardison called without looking away from the food.  “Now hurry up momma, or I’m gonna start without ya’ll.”

 

“I didn’t- damnit Hardison!  I ain’t  _ spiffy.” _  He seriously regretted having combed his hair and tucked his shirt in.  “What are you, sixty?”

 

“I ain’t the one wearing a new shirt - which looks  _ very _ good on you, I might add.”

 

“Shut up and eat your damn food,” Eliot growled.  Parker looked questioningly at him one more time, then helped herself to dinner.

 

The first fifteen full minutes were devoid of conversation beyond moans of pleasure and the occasional  _ oh my god, _ which Eliot took great pride in.  It took a fair bit of talent to get either of those two to stop talking - methods employed in bed notwithstanding.

 

Parker was finally starting to slow down and enjoy her wine when she started talking again.  “So what’s the occasion for the eye candy and the fancy feast? Not that I’m complaining.”

 

“Can’t a man do somethin’ nice for the people he loves?”

 

“Yeah, but… candles?  Something’s up.”

 

Fucking  _ candles. _

 

Eliot shrugged, trying to look nonchalant.  “It’s been a while since we did somethin’ like this.  Somethin’ romantic. And things have been going… well.  Really well. I thought it was time.”

 

“You know I do appreciate being wined and dined,” Hardison said, kissing Eliot’s knuckles.

 

“This isn’t about the fix-it sex, is it?  Because that doesn’t really require thanks.”

 

“It ain’t about the sex, despite the fact that I  _ am _ grateful for that.  Just- just let me do some old-fashioned romancin’, huh?”

 

“Alright,” Parker finally agreed.  “In that case, thanks.”

 

“You’re more’n welcome, darlin’.”

  
  


When dessert was finished off, they moved to the living room.  Hardison collapsed onto the couch, one hand over his stomach.

 

“I don’t think I could eat another bite if my life depended on it.”

 

Parker sat cross legged beside him and poked him in the stomach.  “How’s that feel?” He batted her hand away and groaned. “How about that?”  She poked him again.

 

“Woman, I will straight up ralf on you if you keep poking me.”

 

“And waste Eliot’s food?”  She gasped indignantly.

 

“Well then stop poking me!”

 

“Behave, children,” Eliot said as he came in behind them.

 

“She started it,” Hardison grumbled.

 

“Ha!  Now you really do sound like a kid!”  Parker poked him again. Hardison snatched her hand and tugged her close, tickling her sides when she was in reach.

 

“That’s sorta the point.”

 

She laughed then moaned, her own stomach overly full.  Having made his point, Hardison stopped tickling her, but held her at his side still.  When the looked back up, Eliot was watching them. There was a wealth of love in his gaze, soft and sweet, but there was something else, too.  And they both noted that he hadn’t made any move to sit with them. 

 

“Eliot?”

 

“This isn’t more secrets, is it?” Parker asked, almost fearfully.

 

“Wh- no, nothin’ like that.  I mean, a little bit, but not like what you’re thinkin’.  I promise.”

 

Cautiously relieved, Hardison made a  _ go on _ gesture.  “Don’t keep us in suspense, man.  Say what’s on your mind.”

 

“Alright.”  Eliot let out a breath and pushed his hair out of his eyes.  It fell almost immediately forward again, but he was already distracted.  “The thing is- thing is, what we are, what we got between us, is more than anything I would’ve thought possible.  And I don’t mean just because I never woulda thought a threeway could work beyond a single night. I mean because after Amy, I said I wasn’t gonna make any more promises I couldn’t keep.  For a long time, I stopped makin’ them all together.

 

“And then you all came along, the whole team, and I found a purpose.  There’s a reason I stayed after that first job, and it wasn’t the money, and it wasn’t the chance to get to kick some ass on a regular basis.  It was about doin’ the right thing by people who got nowhere else to go. I found somethin’ I  _ could _ promise.  Not to help people, though that was the reason behind it.  I promised to be there to protect you. Protect the team.

 

“When that went down to just the three of us, I spent a long time thinkin’ about what exactly that meant, protectin’ you.  For a while, I thought it meant keepin’ my distance. Because somehow, over the years of us workin’ together, what I felt for both of you evolved into somethin’ way deeper than just partners.  I didn’t even realize it was happenin’ until it was too late. Until I couldn’t see my life without both of you in it, and my thoughts about you weren’t exactly chaste.”

 

Parker laughed a little, thinking back on all the times they’d practically  _ provoked _ a physical reaction out of him.  Apparently it had worked better than they’d thought.

 

“When I realized that somehow, you both had the same feelin’s I did - well, it about hit me like a fifty pound hammer.  But just like everythin’ else, you made it work. And we- we just  _ fit. _  You’re my failsafe, the thing that I trust to keep me from losing control, but it’s more’n that.  You - shit, this sounds so ridiculous.” He shook his head, hardly able to say the words. “You make me a better version of myself.  I’m a better man with you both at my side, in every way that entails. And I’m so, so grateful for that. I’m grateful everyday that you wake up each mornin’ and choose me, that you let me stay with you, that you make a place for me to belong.”

 

“Eliot-”

 

“No, wait.  I ain’t much for talkin’, and if I stop now, I won’t start again.  I need to get this out. What I’m tryin’ to say is that even when I don’t say it, even when I ain’t good at expressin’ it, I’m always thankful that you’re in my life.  I probably won’t ever tell you that I love you as often as you deserve, but I’m hopin’...” He looked down and realized the coffee table was right where he wanted to be, so he shoved it out of the way with his foot and went to one knee in the vacated space.  “I’m hopin’ that even when I don’t say it, these will do it for me.” He pulled the ring boxes out of his pocket and flicked them open with his thumbs, one in each hand in front of them.

 

Hardison’s jaw dropped open.  Parker looked confused for a split second, then her eyes went wide.

 

_ “That’s _ what these are?!”

 

Eliot half choked.  “Wh- you  _ knew _ I had them?”

 

“Well yeah, but I didn’t realize they were-”

 

“What’d you think they were, woman, carnival prizes?”  Hardison shook his head in exasperation.

 

“No!  I mean, I was a little confused, but he sometimes wears rings.  I thought they were just his stuff!”

 

“Three of the exact same rings in different sizes?”

 

“Maybe for different fingers… I don’t know!  I just thought he really liked them. They’re so pretty…”

 

“Well I’m mighty glad you think so,” Eliot said, knowing that he should have been more surprised if Parker  _ hadn’t _ found the rings, “but can we get back to the whole, ‘me proposin’ to you’ bit?”

 

“Right!  Yes, that!”

 

They both looked at him expectantly, and suddenly every idea he’d had for saying the actual words flew right out of his head.  He made an impatient sound and pushed the rings towards them a little. “Well- will you?”

 

They both burst out laughing, which would have been about as terrible a response as he could’ve imagined if they hadn’t followed it by wrapping their arms around him and kissing him breathless.

 

“You big ol’ fashioned sap,” Hardison accused with a smile when he pulled back.  “I should’a known you’d want us to make an honest man outta you.”

 

“Shut up and put your damn ring on if you’re sayin’ yes,” Eliot growled at him.

 

“Nu-uh, the propos _ or _ puts the ring on the propos _ ee _ .  That’s the rules.”  He held out his hand.

 

Eliot made a show of rolling his eyes, but took his time sliding the ring onto Hardison’s finger and kissed it gently once it was in place.  Then he turned to Parker. “What about you, darlin’?” He half expected her to make a joke like Hardison had, or say something totally nonsensical, but instead she just reached out to him.

 

“Please.”

 

The weight of that single word settled around his heart and pressed until he could hardly breathe.  He’d thought she would be the one this mattered least to, that it might seem trivial to her - but he’d forgotten that she’d been looking for a place to belong for even longer than he had.  She didn’t think this was insignificant. Not by a long shot.

 

Eliot slid her ring into place just as slowly, gave her knuckle the same kiss, then laced their fingers together.  She and Hardison did the same, and Hardison took Elliot’s other hand. They were all linked. Connected, the way they belonged.

  
  


Later, when they were curled up on the couch together, Parker raised her hand.

 

“Yes, Parker?” Hardison asked with a laugh.

 

“Don’t let this spoil the romance of the moment, but what exactly are we agreeing to here?  I mean, I’m pretty sure we can’t  _ actually _ get married.”

 

“I kno-”

 

“Technically, I could make aliases for us in Utah, make Eliot a woman, and take him as my second wife,” Hardison chimed in.  Eliot growled.

 

“Don’t make me kick your ass the same day I propose, Hardison.”

 

“Just sayin’.”

 

“Hardison’s little polygamy idea aside, I ain’t expectin’ a legally bindin’ contract here.  Havin’ a ceremony of some sort is up to the two of you. Havin’ you wear those is enough for me, but I’ll put on whatever crazy outfit’s required and jump a broom or juggle geese or braid a ribbon - whatever you guys want.”

 

“Ooh!  I vote for the juggling!  On a highwire!”

 

“I was gonna say we didn’t need no damn ceremony, but the fact that you used a sci-fi reference makes me wanna kiss you in front of everyone we know.”

 

Eliot let out a long suffering sigh that barely stifled his smile.  “Guess we’d better get them in one place then. For efficiency's sake.”

 

“Or we could just spend the rest of our lives making out in front of people.  That doesn’t sound like a bad option either.”

 

“No, it don’t,” Eliot agreed.  He kissed Parker, then Hardison, then set about showing them just how happy they’d made him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There we are, folks! The body of this story is complete, but... If you want to see parent!OT3, then the bonus part 7 going up tomorrow is for you! I know not everyone imagines them with a kid, though, so the story can be finished here, too. Thanks for reading and for all the lovely comments!


	7. Chapter 7

***

 

_ Years later _

 

***

 

Parker looked down at the little girl in Eliot’s arms and tried not to let the sight affect her.  The fact that the girl was blonde and not much older than Parker herself had been when she was first on her own wasn’t helping any.

 

She knew how different her life would be if someone like Eliot had been around back then.  To keep her safe. To help her retain what little of her innocence she’d had left. To protect her.

 

She would have been an entirely different woman, and as happy as she was with how her life had turned out, she didn’t think that was a bad thing.  She would never have been broken. Wouldn’t have gotten so damaged. And what had Eliot once told her? That you could be grateful for the present and still regret the past?  That was true of  _ both _ of their lives.  But it didn’t have to be true of this little girl’s.

 

She didn’t have to be alone.  Didn’t have to let the world break her before she found people to help put her back together again.  She could have her Eliot  _ now _ .  And a Parker and Hardison, but they both knew they weren’t quite parent material on their own.  Eliot was different. Eliot was a natural father.

 

If she’d needed any further proof, the fact that the terrified eight-year-old he’d been carrying for the last hour had let his murmured words calm her to sleep would have been more than enough.  He cradled the back of her head in his hand and turned to Parker.

 

“Let’s get outta here.”

 

Parker nodded and turned to leave.  She caught Hardison’s eye as she did and they shared a long look.  Instead of going to the police station or a hospital, somewhere they might drop the girl off, Hardison drove them back to the hotel.

 

***

 

They’d talked about kids, once.  It had only been a few years after they’d gotten together, and Parker didn’t think any of them had taken the conversation as seriously as they should have.  Obviously, Parker couldn’t have any kids of her own, and she wasn’t sure she wanted to, despite the occasional waver she’d had over the years. Hardison thought of the idea of kids as a scheduling nightmare.  Who would watch it while they were on jobs? Would it need a regular bedtime, and would that interfere with his weekly gaming sessions? What if a birthday or other kid-important holiday happened while they were out of the country?  Or pretending to be oil riggers/racecar drivers/airline pilots?

 

What if they just wanted to have sex in the living room?

 

Eliot saw it as a simple safety issue.  With the lives they led, it wouldn’t be fair to put a kid in the middle of that.  He already disliked children in danger. But a kid in danger because he put it there?  His own kid? No. Not something he was willing to do.

 

But the thing was… Parker and Hardison had slowly been changing their minds about the idea of retiring.  No, they’d never go one hundred percent straight, but that didn’t mean that they couldn’t take a step back.  Do what Nate and Sophie did, take jobs that suited them when they wanted, and have the rest of their time to themselves.  They weren’t ready to go that far, not yet, but they both knew that Eliot couldn’t go on the way he had been forever.

 

The year before, he’d taken a bullet to the knee rescuing Hardison from a group of bad guys who’d ambushed him.  He’d needed massive reconstruction surgeries - which he’d had to have done in a hospital, because they were way out of his warehouse doc’s leigue, a fact that he’d been furious about - and he’d been laid up for months after.  He’d made a full and quite impressive recovery, but it just as easily could have gone the other way. Parker had no doubt that if he’d somehow lost his leg he’d be chasing down bad guys in a high tech prosthetic six months later, but what if the shot had been his spine?  His heart? His head?

 

They all lived with risks, yes, but Eliot bore the brunt of them and it was harder and harder for his partners to watch.  

 

Unfortunately, they knew he’d never allow them to take a step back just for his sake.  They could explain until they were blue in the face that it was just as much for  _ their _ hearts as it was for his body, but he’d never see it that way.  He wouldn’t take them from the life they loved.

 

In the end, the discussion about retiring had gone much the way the conversation about kids had.  Something to be talked about another time, an unlikely scenario shelved until a later date.

 

Now, Parker wondered if they couldn’t rekindle both discussions at the same time.

  
  


Eliot laid the sleeping girl down on the hotel bed and tucked the blankets around her.  His hand lingered, just a moment, on her hair. Then he pulled away and closed the door behind him on his way out.

 

“We oughtta call CPS in the mornin’,” he said, dropping into a chair.

 

“Maybe.”

 

“Maybe?  Parker, we can’t just drop her off somewhere.  She’s got no parents, no  _ family _ at all.  With all the shit she’s been through already, she’s gonna need a lotta support.  I ain’t feedin’ her abandonment issues by dumpin’ her somewhere and hopin’ that a friendly cop finds her.”

 

“I don’t think she was suggesting that, man.  She meant that we could-”

 

“We could what?” Eliot asked when Hardison stopped.  He looked between the two of them, waiting for answers.

 

“We could take her home.  With us.” Parker bit her lip and tried not to look as nervous about the suggestion as she felt.

 

“Wait -  _ what?” _

 

“Take her home,” Hardison echoed.  “Take care of her ourselves.”

 

Eliot stared at them.  One minute. Two. Five.  “Are you actually suggestin’ we adopt that kid in there?” he asked finally.

 

“Why not?”

 

“Wh- I’ll tell you why not.  Because we’re criminals. Because I’m wanted in 6 countries.  Because we practically  _ live _ in danger.  Because we spend what amounts to eight months of the year on the road.  Because none of us know a damn thing about raisin’ kids. Because neither of you even  _ want _ kids.”

 

“What if… what if some of that changed?”

 

“Parker, I know you wanna help her.”  He pushed up from his chair and pulled her into a hug.  “I love you for that. But what you’re suggesting would mean a whole lifestyle change.  We’d have to be entirely different people.”

 

“So we’d make some changes.  Different kinds of jobs. We’d spend more time at home.  I’ve read about every book there is on having a crappy childhood, and Hardison could download and read them all in an afternoon.  And you don’t even need to do any of that. You’re already cut out for this.”

 

Eliot squinted at them, blindsided.  “Where is this coming from? Is it just because she needs a place to go?  There are plenty of good-”

 

“It’s not just that,” Hardison interrupted.  “It’s… it’s something we’ve been thinking about a little.”

 

“About raisin’ a kid?”

 

“About having a family.  And the changes we’d need to make for that to happen.”

 

“You… you never said anything-”

 

“We weren’t sure yet,” Parker said softly. “And after the last conversation we had about it, we wanted to really think about it before we brought it up to you again.  Because you  _ do _ want this, Eliot.”

 

“I never said that I-”

 

“You didn’t have to,” Hardison told him with a soft smile.  “We saw how good you were with that kid in the hospital job.  And how much you’d thought about the kind of dad you’d be when we did the christmas toy job and you were playing the dad blogger.  And the way you watched that boy with his father last year during the diamond job. We  _ know _ you, Eliot.  You don’t have to say it in words.”

 

Eliot ran a hand through his hair and stepped back.  “Just because I want a thing don’t mean it’s gotta happen.  For us to… to raise a kid, you both would have to make too many concessions.  It wouldn’t be fair to ask that of you. I’ve always known that. I don’t resent you for that.”

 

“Maybe before, it  _ would _ have been too many.  But we aren’t the same people we were when Nate first got us all together.  And we aren’t the same people we were when we first put these on.” Parker held up her left hand, showing her ring.  “Now… now maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to take a step back for a while. I mean, she’s already half done. She’ll be an adult in another ten years, and if we want to get back in the danger game by then, then we do it.  But Hardison and I - we don’t think it’s such a bad idea.”

 

“Is this about what happened with my knee?”

 

Hardison said, “no,” the same time Parker said, “a little.”

 

“That isn’t- the  _ reason, _ you know?  Yeah, we worry about you, and maybe that got us thinking about all of this again, but it’s not the thing that made our decision.”

 

“Yeah, that,” Parker agreed.

 

“I ain’t crippled,” Eliot said flatly.  “I can still do my job just fine. I wouldn’t put either of you out here if I couldn’t.”

 

“We  _ know _ that, man.  We haven’t ever doubted it.  This isn’t about us thinking that you couldn’t, or shouldn’t, do what you do.  It’s about two things that we’ve been thinking about for a while now, and being able to do them both at once.”

 

“But you… you don’t want kids.”

 

Hardison shrugged a little.  “On my own? Hell no. I’d be clueless.  Probably try to teach the thing game theory before walking.  But with you and Parker? Then, yeah, I could do that. I’ll be the cool parent, ya know?  I can be the one that designs the world’s coolest playhouse that you have to build. I can teach them all the math and computer stuff you two can’t.”

 

“I knew I couldn’t raise a kid from the beginning.  I’ve always been too fractured. But you both make me whole.  I… trust myself more, with you. I know now that I can love unconditionally.  That I could teach a kid how to work through a laser grid, not because that’s how they can prove their worth, but because it’s  _ fun. _  And I could empart the joys of sugar cereal and chocolate and all the best junk food, because I know you’d be there to make sure they ate healthy, too.”  She smiled, already able to see how exasperated he’d get at her for passing on her junk food habits.

 

“And you… El, we all know any kid’d be lucky to have you for a dad.  You’d keep her safer than anyone else could. You’d be the voice of reason that made sure there was a bedtime and proper schooling and three square meals a day.  And more than that… you’d make sure she knew she was loved.”

 

“I- I ain’t good at sayin’-”

 

“You don’t have to be,” Parker whispered.  “We’ve  _ never _ doubted how you feel about us.  You  _ show _ it, better than anyone else I’ve ever met.  That’s far more important. Besides, if you really think that you’ll have  _ any _ trouble showing that little girl affection, then you don’t know yourself nearly as well as we do.”

 

Eliot gave up trying not to pace and started moving.  Across the room, then back. “Alright, let’s just say, for argument’s sake, that I can accept you both suddenly wantin’ to semi-retire and raise a kid - both things you’ve said in the past that you didn’t want to do.  But let’s say you’ve changed your mind. Do you really think it’s a good idea to make this decision  _ now, _ when this kid needs a home immediately?  This ain’t a choice you should rush, and you can’t just return her to the kid store if you change your mind later and decide it ain’t right for us.”

 

“Dude, have you been listening at  _ all? _  This  _ isn’t _ a rushed decision.  We’ve been thinking about it for a long time, and the reason we brought it up now is specifically  _ because _ she needs a place to go.  This is the  _ right time.” _

 

“Both of us bounced around enough in foster care when we were kids,” Parker said, nodding towards Hardison.  “We’d never do that to someone else.”

 

“I-”  Eliot stopped, seeing the hurt on her face.  “I know that,” he said, going over and kissing her forehead.  “I shouldn’ta said it like that. I just mean… you gotta be sure.  One hundred and ten percent sure about this. You know the way this is gonna be for me, don’t you?”

 

She did.  They both did.  If they brought her into their circle, made her part of the family, then it was done.  Once she was Eliot’s, she’d always be Eliot’s. Just like they’d been his from the moment he’d decided to make it his mission to keep them safe.  

 

Parker didn’t need to think twice.  She looked to Hardison, who nodded.

 

“We know.  And Eliot, we’re sure.”

 

Eliot saw the resolve in her eyes and then turned and saw the same look in Hardison’s.  They really wanted this. Wanted to raise a kid. With him. It was going to mean a whole passel of compromises and sacrifices, not late night feedings and diaper changes thankfully since the girl was past that, but so many changes in their day to day lives.  Eliot loved the life they had… but he was more than ready for this new chapter.

 

“We’ve… got a kid, then?”  He looked between them again, hardly daring to believe it.  “We’ve got a daughter?” The hope and awe and dawning elation on his face was enough to make Hardison and Parker laugh.

 

“Yeah.  We’ve got a daughter.”  Hardison didn’t even have time to jump before Eliot leaped forward, hauling him into his arms by a grip on the backs of his thighs.  Hardison’s arms automatically went around Eliot’s shoulders, clinging as Eliot spun them around and let out what could only be called a whoop of joy.  When the stopped spinning, Parker hopped onto Eliot’s back. He didn’t even flinch at the extra weight, just tilted his head back and kissed her.

 

“You sure you’re ready to be a daddy, Eliot?” she asked with a smile.

 

“More than, darlin’.  You’re gonna have to remind me in the mornin’ that all this’s been real, and not just a dream comin’ true.”

 

“Oh I can think of a few ways to convince you this is real,” Hardison grinned.  

 

Eliot rolled his eyes.  “I have sex dreams starin’ the two of you all the damn time.  Sex won’t prove a thing.”

 

“Wh-  __ I meant pinching your pervy ass, but since you brought up sex…”

 

“I’ll drop you if you pinch me, Hardison,” Eliot threatened.  Parker reached down and pinched him instead. “Damnit Hardison!”

 

“Hey, that wasn’t me!  But you didn’t drop me, did ya,” he gloated.  Eliot stepped over to the couch and let the three of them fall onto it in a heap.

 

“Shut up and take your pants off,” Eliot growled.

 

“Yes  _ sir.” _

 

***

 

Hardison wasn’t sure what he’d expected life with a kid would be like, but the reality was nothing like it.  Emily, the girl that had worked her way into their hearts just as quickly as she had into their home, wasn’t anything like a typical kid.  At least, not like the ones he saw on TV. She was bright, but not so bright that she was already causing trouble like Hardison had been at her age.  And she was guarded, but not as badly as Parker had been, either.

 

Despite all the things she’d endured in her short eight years, she was still incredibly innocent.

 

Because her mother had been hiding her from her father, Emily’s birth hadn’t been officially recorded.  She didn’t exist in any system, which made their adoption of her a hell of a lot easier. Hardison could hack his way through red tape, but if there’d been any way to do it, Eliot would have wanted to adopt her legally.

 

Instead, Hardison had been able to create an identity for her and then link it to all their safe aliases.  In ones where Parker and Hardison were married, he created adoption records, and in ones where Eliot and Parker were married he put in a birth certificate.  There were three identities in which he and Eliot were married, and for those he gave them joint custody of her with her ‘birth mother’, Parker.

 

And with the legalities out of the way, all that had been left to do was settle into life with another person there.  For a long time, Emily seemed determined to take up as little space in their lives as she could. Eliot assumed it was a holdover from the time she’d spent trying to avoid her biological father’s attention, and he hated it.  He took every opportunity to draw her out, to engage with her.

 

They spent six months giving her time to settle, letting her adjust to the fact that she was finally in a place she could call home, with people that were going to take care of her.  Eventually, she let them in.

 

Eliot had cried the first time she’d called him daddy - not that he’d ever admit to it - and Hardison might’ve thought of making fun of him for that, but he’d had to turn away so she didn't see him bawl like a baby when she called  _ him _ papa.  Parker was the only one who’d maintained her composure, but only because she and Emily had been that way from the beginning.  It was like Parker had already seen it coming. So when Emily called her mom, she just rolled with it, like that’s what she’d always been.

 

Despite all the times she’d said she’d make a terrible parent, Parker had been a natural.  Yes, there were times when Eliot had to step in and stop her from teaching Emily something not age appropriate - like how hot an industrial saw can get before it needs cooled down, or how to scale the face of a ten story building - but in terms of care and affection, she needed no instruction at all.

 

Hardison, too, had surprised even himself with how well he’d adjusted to fatherhood.  Emily wasn’t much of a computer person, but she loved to learn and to build things, and he could work with that.  Most of the time he wasn’t the one she went to with a scraped knee or for comfort after a nightmare, but he was the one she shared her discoveries with, and that was just as important.  They sometimes talked for hours as she started understanding more of the world around her, the way the clouds worked, how to play chess, which wires could connect to complete a circuit and power a light.  (Using a low watt bulb and batteries - Eliot had monitored the experiment closely just in case.)

 

The only one that Hardison didn’t think any of them were surprised about was Eliot.  He was everything they’d thought he would be and more. It was like there were two parts of him, not separate, but different sides of the same coin.  For as violent and quick tempered as he could be, he was the exact opposite with Emily. His patience was endless - Parker claimed he’d had practice on her - his affection was easy and open, and his constant gentleness with her had made him the person she went to with anything she needed.  Eliot was the rock that she had built her sense of security around.

 

Parker was for playing, Hardison was for learning, and Eliot was for providing.  They all crossed over into each other’s domains, but for the most part, those were their roles.  Eliot was the one who mended cuts, who made sure they all ate right, who took her outside to look at the stars for hours on end when she couldn’t sleep.  He was the one she stood behind when she was afraid, and there was no doubt in any of their minds that  _ nothing _ would get at her through him.

 

Really, Hardison might have thought the situation was perfect, except that they hadn’t worked a single job since she’d come to live with them.  And as happy as they’d all been to put everything else on the back burner and make Emily their priority, there was work that needed doing, people that needed helping.  He just wasn’t sure how they could balance both.

 

***

 

Eliot put a pamphlet in front of Parker and Hardison after dinner one night.  Parker picked it up. “Delphian school?” Hardison took the pamphlet from her hands and looked inside.

 

“It’s a boarding school.  Bout an hour away,” Eliot explained.

 

“Yeah, but, why?”

 

“For Emily.”

 

“Boarding school?”  Parker looked upset.  “Isn’t that where rich people dump the kids they didn’t want to have?”

 

“Sometimes, yeah.  But this one ain’t.  It’s one of the best schools in the country and it focuses on actual learnin’ and creative thinkin’ instead of just memorization and test scores.  She could go there through the week and be home any weekend we ain’t on a job. Hell, I can build us a place out there so that she can be home with us every night if we’re not workin’.  But she’d be somewhere safe while we were gone, in an environment that could do her some good. Help her make friends.”

 

“That… actually sounds kind of perfect,” Hardison admitted.  Eliot scowled at him.

 

“Like I’d suggest anything less for her.”

 

“I know, I know, simmer down.  I just mean, where’s the catch?”

 

“The school’s pretty secure, but it ain’t quite up to my standards.  And even with me puttin’ some extra safety measures in place, she’s always only as secure as her identity is.  She needs to be as far removed from any alias we’ve used on dangerous jobs as possible. There can’t be  _ any _ way to track her through one of us.  I know you’re careful with that, but I want us to triple check  _ everything _ before we let her out of our sight.”

 

“What if she doesn’t like it?” Parker asked softly.  She still looked upset. “What if she’s not happy there, or if she feels like we’re abandoning her?”

 

Hardison looped his arm around her shoulders and Eliot knelt in front of her.  “Then we pull her out and do somethin’ else. This ain’t the only option. For where we’re at now, it’s the best one, but if this doesn’t work out, we’ll go somewhere else.”

 

Parker nodded finally, still doubtful but willing to hear the idea out.

 

“But even if everything fits, and we’re all happy with the school, we still can’t go back to the way things were before we got her.”

 

“No dangerous jobs,” Hardison agreed.  Eliot nodded.

 

“What we do’s always gonna piss people off, but we don’t go after anyone we ain’t absolutely certain we can take down completely.  And no unnecessary risks - for any of us. That kid’s lost enough parents for a lifetime.” He turned to Parker. “That’s gonna go mostly on you, darlin’.  You’re our mastermind. Think you can keep us outta hot water?”

 

She hesitated for a moment, then nodded.  “Yeah. I can.”

 

“Alright!” Hardison cheered.  “The gang’s back up to their old tricks!  Looks like school term starts in-” he consulted the brochure “- a month.  That means we got thirty days to whip both ya’ll back into shape.”

 

“Boy I will give you  _ proof  _ otherwise if you think I’ve let myself slip at all.”  Eliot manhandled Hardison off the couch and had him in a submission hold in half a second.  When he looked up, Parker was grinning and holding both their wallets, Hardison’s watch,  _ and _ their wedding rings.

 

“Okay, I take it back.  No one’s lost their touch.”

 

***

 

Emily had been unsure about the idea of boarding school, but by the time she came home after her first week, she couldn’t wait to go back on Monday.  It was almost harder for Eliot, despite having been hoping for this exact outcome.

 

They were reading The Count of Monte Cristo before bed, already an hour past when Emily was supposed to asleep but she kept asking him to read just one more chapter, and Eliot couldn’t resist.

 

They’d read several books that way over the last half a year, Emily tucked into bed with her head propped against Eliot’s side as he brought new worlds to life for her.  It was a ritual Eliot had come to love, one that he’d missed fiercely while they’d been apart.

 

Emily finally started nodding off just as Edmund and Albert were about to duel, and Eliot marked their page to pick up at the next night.  He tucked the blankets around her more securely, kissed her forehead, and started to stand. Emily stopped him with a single, soft touch.

 

“Love you, daddy.”

 

He knew it wasn’t going to last.  In this part of the country,  _ daddy _ became  _ dad _ in another year or so for kids her age, and if she was anything like a typical teenager, she might not even like him in another few years after that.  But that didn’t matter. He’d answer to whatever she called him, and he’d be happy to let her think he was the most stubborn, mean old man in the world.  Because no matter how much things changed from this moment, there was one thing that wouldn’t ever change.

 

“I love you too, sweetheart.”  He gave her one last kiss and closed the door behind him when he left.

 

On his way to the master bedroom, Eliot let himself admit that his knee was a bit stiffer than he’d have liked.  But the con had gone well, he’d gotten to kick a little bad guy ass more for fun than necessity, and a couple of dangerous men were off the streets.

 

Someday, those things would change too.  Even if he was lucky enough to hold out for another decade or two, no one could do this job forever.  You either went out on top, or you died on your way down; that’s the way things went for hitters. And eventually, there was going to come a day when Eliot couldn’t take the punishment any more.  When he wasn’t quick enough, or strong enough. And his run would be done.

 

But that was okay, too.  Because there was something else that wouldn’t change.  He opened the door to see Parker and Hardison kissing on the bed, both of them already naked.  Now that was a sight that a man could spend the rest of his life coming home to. They broke apart when he closed the door behind him, minds already two steps ahead.

 

Hardison inclined his head towards the bed in invitation and Parker crooked her finger.  Eliot crossed to them, stripping off his clothes as he went, not caring that the light was still on and highlighting every scar.  He kissed Hardison, slow and deep, then climbed over him and kissed Parker, catching her lower lip between his teeth as he pulled back.

 

“What’s the plan tonight, darlin’?” he asked the mastermind.  She grinned and settled herself against Hardison’s chest.

 

“Parker sandwich?”

 

“I say we give the lady what she wants,” Hardison advised.

 

“Yeah, I can do that,” Eliot agreed.  He’d give them both what they wanted. What they needed.  As much as he could for the rest of his life. Because  _ this _ was what wouldn’t change, no matter where life took them.  That they were  _ his, _ and by some miracle they loved him as much as he loved them.  It was a responsibility, a privilege, that he worked to earn every day - not because they asked it of him, but because they  _ didn’t. _  What they felt for him was unconditional.

 

And that meant that no matter what the future held, no matter what else happened, he had more than he’d ever thought a man like him would have.  And he was never gonna let that go.


End file.
